I’ve been contemplating girl boners for years.
It all started in 1990. My family had moved from a very diverse St. Paul area to the safer, if eerily homogenous, suburbs. On my first day of school, I wondered if my mostly Scandinavian could-be-my-siblings classmates derived from Stepford parents, which made my own existence much more interesting.
Before that school year started, I was confident of three things (four if you include my Stepford hypothesis): Paula Abdul rocked. The strict teacher I’d been cursed with didn’t. And soon my classmates and I would learn all about S…E…X.
Little did I know then where that class would lead. Based on my memory, here’s what happened:
I was sitting amidst a sea of students, some pale and fidgeting, others pink-cheeked and snickering, when Ms. Cloke,* aka Cruella Deville, started the projector.
“Welcome to sexual education…” Her frog-tone words blurred like the teacher’s voice on Charlie Brown in my horrified brain. “Wah-WA-wah-WA-wah…” Here I’d been hoping to learn the truth behind soap opera steam and all things hush-hush-adult. But Ms. Cloke’s voice was so…teachery.
“Wah-WA-wah-WA-wah,” she continued. “…erect penis.”
Huh? Muter mechanism, off. Now she had my attention. My eyes must’ve widened at the scientific drawing of a naked man on the screen, his penis pointing upward in firm salute.
It looks painful, I thought, keeping my view peripheral.
“It actually feels quite good,” said Cruella.
Jesus! Could she hear my thoughts?!? I stared at the floor, resisting the urge to scope the joint. Was that hidden in all the boys’ pants? This was sex ed, after all. Our bodies were changing…
Don’t look, don’t look! I scolded myself, my brain conjuring images of boys’ bulging crotches beneath neighboring desks. I shot a glance toward one. No bulge.
As I reviewed Ms. Cloke’s explanation, my nervous self-coaching took pause. If men had erections… What felt “quite good” for ladies?
Calmed by curiosity, I honed in on the lecture: More about erections, the triggers in boys and men, what men do with their standing penises during intercourse and something about women’s vaginas. That part, I’d heard.
Thank goodness we were on to vaginas. Surely Ms. Cloke would answer my pleasure question soon. So I waited. And waited. And…waited.
“When women begin adolescence…” she began.
Here it comes! Another click. A new slide, featuring—
Maxi pads. Tampons. Discussion of womb-shedding, bleeding, swelling and cramps. A week every MONTH?!? Fantastic. One quarter of the rest of my life would consist of bloody pain.
Class ended, leaving me in a state of crestfallen confusion. Not once throughout sex ex did Ms. Cloke mention female sexual pleasure. Not that I was longing for it then. I just deemed the whole thing unfair. Guys gained fun special effects. Gals? We bled. (Was that what drove my girl Paula to sing Cold-Hearted Snake?!?) The one takeaway I’d hold onto for years: Never wear white pants. Ever.
Not bold enough to pose my questions to anyone, particularly Ms. loved-to-punish-kids Cloke, my curiosity accompanied me through puberty. While men all around the world had bulging, feel-good genitals, I bulged with curiosity constipation. Anytime someone spoke of sex at school, in public or on TV, I listened—not in a sick way. I just wanted to know, without being deemed crazy, idiotic or un-Christian for wondering. The first time I heard an erection called a boner, I wondered, “What about girl boners?”
It would be years before I had an answer. Since then, girl boners have gone from perplexing puzzles to a passion, and not just for me personally. I want every woman to experience, embrace and celebrate her sexuality, and feel deserving and confident about doing so.
The truth is, there is no broadly used term specific to female arousal. (Think how many we have for guys. My slang thesaurus lists 22 synonyms for the male boner alone.) Multiple websites and thesaurus searches for ‘female sexual arousal’ draws up Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome, as in a disorder, as a top hit.
On some level, I understand why there isn’t a universal word for female turn-on. It’s not as though women experience one primary or obvious change. But words hold power. Giving a positive term to female sexual arousal and pleasure makes both more probable, making the whole world a better place, IMO.
I believe that women would experience less depression, better body image, a lessening of relationship strife and greater personal security if we were taught to cherish our girl boners. While we’ve come a long way in these regards as a society, significant work remains.
I could go on and on (and on…) about girl boners and my journey from sex ed to the present, which is why I’ve not only decided to trademark the term, but make it an ongoing series on my blog. I’m committed to keeping the tone and information upbeat, and hope you’ll all engage in equally fun and respectful discussion. And yes, guys and gals are equally welcome.
I should also mention for any newbies that I’m not a sex therapist or doctor—simply an empowered woman who embraces her sexuality and uses her professional health writing and researching skills to dig deep and relay what she learns. I’m also quite fond of blurting everything out sharing, so more personal stories will follow. (Fear not, exes. I’ll change your identifying details as I did Ms. Cloke’s.*)
I hope you’ll join me next week as we discuss girl boner physiology: what actually happens when we get turned on. Until then, I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts. Do you remember your first sex ed class? Any funny or interesting stories to share? Are you as stoked about girl boners as I am?!?
**If you’d like to share this post without the #GirlBoner hash tag, feel free to omit it or use an alternate.
I used peripheral vision to read the first few paragraphs of this post, almost afraid that you were going to go in a direction that made me uncomfortable, but this is awesome! You rocked this one August!
It’s awful that the only reference to something like a girl boner is a disorder. It’s like being called a Nymphomaniac –which is more of a sick male fantasy than a real condition (I think).
As far as uncomfortable discussions, my 9-year old has worked her way through everything age appropriate. I allow her to read anything in our home library. Naturally, this leads to questions like the one I got Friday night.
“Ben, Jim put your hands on your ears.” Continuing in a whisper, she asked over the phone, “Mom, please explain what men and women do when they have s-e-x.” LOL. I explained . . . gah! It wasn’t so hard. Because hey, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Thanks for reading on, El! And for the wonderful support.
Your daughter seems precious! Here’s to curious girls and rockin’ moms.
heh.
in the circles I run in, they’re called ‘gina tingles’.
Given that I am unqualified to speculate further on the issue or terminology, I’ll just say that whatever they’re called, I sure do enjoy being around them =)
or inspiring them…
Ha. Points for being the first guy to weigh in!
I don’t remember much about sex-ed, except that we had to give presentations (WTF). It wasn’t until the Internets came along that I started hearing about girl boners and had more information on female sexual pleasure. It does seem highly unfair that it’s usually told in terms of it being a disorder while for men it’s “natural”, but since when do we live in a culture that treats women’s sexuality as normal? *sigh.
Looking forward to this series!!
I’m so glad that we have access to empowering information, and the freedom to read and share it. Much of my research has been depressing, unfortunately, but more so motivating—letting me know I’m on the right path. Thanks for the support! Another affirmation.
Great start! Looking forward to being able to say I remember back before this began.
Girl boners. August, you rock. What a wonderful way to describe it.
Fun topic – one that definitely needs exploration. I think you’ve landed on one of the few topics I won’t blog about To be honest, when I hear the word Boner, all that comes to mind is Mike Sever’s best friend Boner from the TV show Growing Pains. He was just awkward and a little creepy…
LOL I’ll make it my personal mission to change that impression, Lisa. Thanks for the support!
You have written a wonderful start to your intriguing series August! I guess that my only question is whether the term “girl boner” works since it still references the male. Would it be of interest to come up with a new term that is uniquely feminine instead? Just a thought.
Thanks, Mark! That’s a good question, and one I’ve considered. I chose ‘girl boner’ because I’ve used it for years and because ‘boner’ is well established. (We can’t help but glean its general meaning when we hear it.) I’ve also tested the term with others, and it’s been a mega-hit. Everyone’s welcome to use whatever term they prefer, of course.
Should’ve waited until after work to read this – LOL at “curiousity constipation!” This whole topic is a big +1 for romance novels, which are all about female empowerment ( with no short shift given to female pleaure)! Looking forward to more!
Kind of a turn on, right? Just thinking about GBs?
I love novels that explore and celebrate female empowerment. (Go romance writers!) I strive for the same in my fiction.
A girl boner – I like that All I remember from sex ed was learning how to put a condom on a wooden penis (a very good lesson that I think every girl should learn – it certainly came in handy many years later, and still does ) and the photos of STDs that made me not want to have sex, ever (which, I suppose, was the point since I was in sixth grade at the time).
I think I’m really going to like this new Monday schedule
Wow, Rebecca. That’s progressive compared to my schooling. We learned more about abstinence and STDs, which had me fearing public toilets, than condom use. So glad you’re psyched about the series!
Well, I went to an inner-city school where most of the girls had sex before they graduated (assuming they graduated at all – over half of my freshman class dropped out before graduation), so at least my school board understood that abstinence was not going to work. I made it all the way through two months of college before I had sex, and I was probably the last of all my friends to do it (and later I married that man ).
This series is going to be a hit! I’ve always referred to girl boners as the “little man in the canoe”. We didn’t have a sex ed class in school, so I learned about it in the fourth grade boy’s bathroom from the school bully. It was a very eye-opening class, replete with illustrations courtesy of Penthouse.
August,
Bear in mind that those terms are for a *result* of male sexual arousal, not the state itself. In fact, erections can happen without any conscious arousal. There are probably so many words for the boner precisely because it can be so visible and therefore needs making light of if it happens (and is noticed) at an inappropriate moment. Believe me, that can be excruciatingly embarrassing!
As far as i can tell, the female equivalent terms would be ‘getting hot’ or ‘getting wet’, or something similar, although I guess clitoral erection could pretty accurately be called a boner too.
True, Jim. The ideas behind girl boner are more important than the terminology, IMO. That said, I’m smitten with the term. We’ll get into what happens during arousal next week.
One reason girl boners are less spoken of, celebrated or even known about is the fact you mentioned: far less noticeable. Perhaps what you described is similar to women’s fear of “flo” hitting while wearing light colored pants…
I remember the awkwardness of our first sex ed class. And the horror of watching a video of a baby being born. It made me never ever want to go through that experience.
LOL.. me too. I was horrified. Needless to say, I never had kids. It is a great deterrent. They should show it more often.
Girl boner – ha ha. I must start incorporating this phrase into daily conversation
Please do!
My husband and I were watching Dexter last night and potty mouth Deb (Dexter’s sister and police chief) was on a date with a crime writer. She told him that she had a girl boner. I turned to my husband and said, “what a disgusting term, and gross to tell a guy on a first date.” How funny that you wrote about it today.
Talk about ironic! I wonder if the writers heard me yapping my head off about GBs over the years.
I’m with Emma ~ I’m going to try to say Girl Boner at least three times today. Tomorrow, maybe five. Love that term!
Gah, my poor kids learned a long time ago not to ask me a question about sex. I told the truth. Sometimes too much of it (which was the point, kind of like the video of the baby being born and all those STDs in sex ed class). I raised my kids to respect their bodies and never, ever be ashamed of having sexual urges. There’s too much negativity in the world already, we don’t need kids growing into adulthood feeling bad about their sexual needs.
This is going to be a fun series, looking forward to more, August!
Mwah! Thanks for the Girl Boner enthusiasm and especially for being such a fantastic mom.
I have to admit that I will probably never use the term, ‘girl boner,’ because it’s always been easier for me to show rather than tell. But it is a totally cool term, and very accurate as far as what we women (or at least those of us who enjoy sex) experience. I’m looking forward to reading more about the series…and maybe getting just a little braver in increasing both my vocabulary…and comfort level in using it.
Of all the reasons I can think of for not embracing ‘girl boner,’ yours is my favorite, Kristy. Fabulous use of ‘show, don’t tell!’
Well…showing is a lot more fun, too.
Oh Gosh. I can’t even remember my first sex ed information because it was so early on. My mother was a huge believer in dialogue and communication – she informed my brother and I about the birds and the bees and everything in between as soon as we started asking. And she was very big on women’s sexuality and pleasure etc…
I can’t remember exactly what Grade but it was early – maybe Grade 2 or 3 – I brought our children-appropriate sex ed book to school and proceeded to “instruct” all my friends on the proper terms and how babies are made…
That went over like a led balloon. For some reason, teachers did not appreciate my forthright assistance to their curriculum. LOL! By the time we got formal classes in school in Grade 7, I am pretty sure I knew more than my teacher…
I am very blessed to have a Mom who is so open and empowered herself and committed to passing that on to her children! Blessed indeed!
LOVE GirlBoner and can’t wait to learn more!
I’m left feeling unsure in my feelings about the girl boner…part of me feels ‘heck yeah! A girls gotta get her girl boner on!!’ Yet another part of me flashes a quick mental image that would leave any heterosexual man cringing of his lady doing the ‘helicopter’ with her girl boner! Your new Boner system still has some KINKS!
LOL And what’s so wrong with KINK? While men are welcome here, the main goal is uplifting gals, who seem stoked about GB-dom. So…thanks for the copter idea! Brilliant.
Okay, Scott… I can’t believe I’m going to ask, but I I’m pretty curious now. What, exactly, is the helicopter? And don’t say anything. Until about 15 years ago, I thought BJ was just a name for a guy on MASH.
Stay tuned for Natalie’s urban word Wednesday ….seems nothing has changed since Grade 2 for Natalie sex education amongst friends LOL!
LOL…I was too impatient. I Googled it. It can be one of two things. I’m not sure I’d want to witness, or participate, in either one of them.
Sex ed where I lived consisted of a one thirty minute class one day. They pushed abstinence, handed out condoms, and told us the “3 types of sex” all quick like.
Then we watched a woman talk about her struggle with HIV because she’d been a virgin until she had sex with her fiance the night before their wedding.
……I was just sitting there like, “really?” And trying not to go wide eyed at the few girls in class who whispered that they had no idea what sex was.
Luckily for me, my mom was really open from a young (but not creepy young, here) age and didn’t lie or side step things.
I’ve always been open to info on the subject and always believed women shouldn’t feel guilty or “oversexed” because they’re curious about their own bodies or sexuality in general.
But I agree with you. What about us girls? Don’t we matter on the pleasure scale? Boys have it too easy.
Sounds like you’ve been blessed with a great mom, Daphne, and that you’re a great role model for other women.
Thank you.
Great, fun article and interesting to boot
(Although I nearly choked on my morning beverage when I misread the last line… I saw “stroked” instead of “stoked.”)
[Picks mind out of gutter]
LOL That happened to me continually while writing it. Must be the GB mindset.
Okay, I am already in love with this series. The “lady boner” is a popular topic of conversation among my friends and me, as are all things related to sex (this is the result of being in a department of “sex-positive” feminists who study pornography and sex toys, lol).
I went to Catholic school my whole life, so sex ed (known as “family life”) started in 3rd grade with lessons on morality (“don’t lie to your parents”) and body parts, then progressed to the P-in-V how-to in 4th grade. I felt so sorry for the boy who was forced to read that bit aloud, because it was SO embarrassing.
I cringe to say it, but it was Cosmo (and whole lot of trashy romance novels that I managed to sneak past my mom in high school) that taught me about the possibility of female pleasure. I’m grateful that I got a comprehensive sex education over the years, with info on birth control as well as abstinence, but the *good parts* of sex shouldn’t be left out either.
There are actually some pretty fascinating studies regarding magazines, including Cosmo, I plan to share, Lena—the one that’s popped to mind is highly positive. Considering your alternatives and how you’ve turned out, I’d push that cringe aside. So glad you’re enthused about the series!
I love the new term and can only imagine the confusion it would have caused me in my youth. Our sex ed at school consisted of listening to a record, not a video, or any other demonstration. All-boys Catholic school can be funny that way. Besides, I’m glad I was spared the embarrassment of listening to a Priest try to explain it. The record they played us was soooo hokey that we were even more baffled about the subject than before. I remember my Mom bugging my Dad to take me for a drive and explain the birds and the bees. We got in the car and he asked if I had any questions. Not wanting to discuss sex ed with my father I claimed to have no questions. He was pleased, then said, “Don’t make me grandfather before your ready.” That was the extent of my sex ed. He turned the car around and we went back home.
I think if we had heard the term Girl Boner back then we would still be searching for such a thing in the Playboy magazines we would take from our parents closet!
Ha! Well I’m glad Girl Boner didn’t confuse you further. That is some story, Tim. (Just a recording?!?) Sex isn’t an easy thing to discuss during youth, but it sure is important.
Wow. I never thought of how the content of sex ed was so unbalanced. I never got to see the boys side of the issue. My first sex ed class was in Catholic school so they separated us. We got the Maxi pad film reel. Doom, gloom and blood. I have no idea what happened in the boys room. A party?
Great topic August. I love your new theme days!.
I remember everything about my sex ed class because I was sitting next to TB, the cutest boy in the whole school. And I planned to practice everything on him. If. He. Would. Just. Notice. Me. (He did. Eventually. And we went to prom together. As friends. Stop laughing. We really were just friends.)
These days fabulous boots give me girl boners.
Let the series begin!
Gosh. I remember very little about sex-ed, except we all were crammed into the gym to watch a film. I got a letter from the school that my son will be starting sex-ed this year. Should be fun. Unfortunately my husband and I were unable to attend the parent preview night. I can’t wait to see how this goes over – or can I?
*chuckle* – That was interesting to read! You wrote a hell of a head start to this series August! Congratulations! I can’t wait for the next one! *grin*
In my time, they separated the genders for all this sex-ed stuff. Young ladies didn’t even hear the penis/erection talk. We got the info on tampons, bleeding and cramping,,, and for an extra special treat, we watched a 30 minute film of a woman crying and screaming while she forced a 10 pound baby out of her womb. Yup! The miracle of birth. Because, you know, sex really isn’t important for girls to understand as long as we realize we’re only little baby-making factories. Also, while the boys learned about condoms, we got pounded with pregnancy horror stories so we’d remember to be good girls. lol
Awesome post, August!
I count myself lucky for the program we had in Gloucester, VA back in the ’90’s. It was 1/2 a year long, occurred several years in a row, & built on the previous year, going from 6th to 10th grade. We learned about everything & had a rocking teacher who took any & all questions. She even had an anonymous “question box” that was as much about the absurd “what happens if you have sex with farm equipment” to legitimate “can you get pregnant if you have sex standing up?” type of questions. She went into detail about what happened in both men & women at the point of arousal, although no phrases like “lady boner” had been around then. & of course we had really, really detailed STD & pregnancies chapters. It was one of my favorite classes in middle/high school. I think it helped the teacher was a younger divorced woman with two middle-school aged kids. She was much more interested in speaking plainly & accurately about sex.
Yes! What’s NOT to be stoked about? Go go go!!!
Couldn’t resist the title August…great first sex blog!
I’m going to date myself now. When I was a teen, sex ed was a totally new thing. Still extremely contoversial. I think my junior high school was part of some pilot program. We had a 30-minute assembly (boys and girls separately) that mostly focused on menstruation (“Oh, joy!” I remember thinking at the time.)
And that was it, until we figured it all out for ourselves (more or less) in high school.
And now we have reached the stage as a society where you can get away with Girl Boner in your title. We’ve come a long way, baby! Really looking forward to this series, August!
whew….I dodged sex ed class entirely. went to an all girls catholic school in the late 50s and early 60s…sex didn’t exist for the nuns. LOL Looking forward to this series, August.
Funny and what a painful throw back down memory lane! Sitting in 5th grade with my mom hearing about all this. So embarrassing and awkward. Ick!
A bit late to the commenting here but since you posted this (a personal favorite topic of mine), I wanted to share a few things with you, August.
First was a webpage that my husband found for me earlier this spring: http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/
Second, on Reddit there are a few “girl boner” subreddits that deal with things that turn women on. Most of them involve eye candy, and while I’m not sure they always put Roni Loren’s great Boyfriend of the Week posts to shame, they certainly give her a solid run. (Again, it was courtesy of my great husband that) I (can) present you with: http://www.reddit.com/r/LadyBoners/ And all the amazing subreddits connected to it listed on the side-bar.
I wonder what Ms. Cloke would say if she knew?
I need to “weigh in” here, too. I have, since high school, felt that girls/women have always gotten ripped off when it comes to most anything, but, especially, sex. Guys are pretty much allowed to full range of thoughts, emotions, and physical feelings while women are supposed to “put up with it.” I am so glad to hear a woman who really likes to talk positively about sex, especially the woman’s feelings and part in it. I, for one, truly love helping a woman to enjoy sex and just her feelings in general, sometimes, even at the sacrifice of my own. It doesn’t have to be that way, but it is something I truly enjoy.
Scott
Wowza! Look what a hit your girl boner blog is! LOL.
Exciting and thought provoking info, Ms. McLaughlin! I minored in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies so these topics are right up my ally. Hit me up anytime for a guest post if you want! Or if you want some research ideas, I still have a lot of my materials or could make great film/book recommendations for reviews.
Love it! I will be back to see what else you share on girl boners! This could gross readers out, but technically…depending on what chromosomes you’re born with, our cells either form a clitoris or a penis. Just saying. It’s kind of true, a very condensed version of that, but yah – that’s kinda where it starts.
When I took Marriage and Family in high school, we each had to take a form of birth control and report on it. We had to pair up with someone and the guy I was supposed to give the presentation with, didn’t show up for class. I was mortified and had never done any public speaking let alone about sex, but had an interesting subject: the history of birth control.
I teased him at our 10 year reunion.
August,
Renee Jacobson led me here today and I’m glad I stopped by to read this!
We didn’t really have sex ed at school. I learned everything through a really awful book (Where Did I Come From) and my mother, who…scared me off a bit.
Anyway, I am eager to see where this leads next. And I wonder if you will have any discussion on vagina loathing, because (in all seriousness) I loathe my vagina. I always think of that scene in Fried Green Tomatoes where Kathy Bates is handed a mirror and the circle of women are all looking at themselves down there…
I promise I’m being serious. I do not like my girly parts. I don’t know where this came from. I am easily embarrassed by them, I hate all the dirty jokes men make about vaginas, etc. and somehow I started feeling shame.
Thank you for this.
your new friend/follower
erin margolin
@erinmargolin
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling in this way, Erin. It’s one thing to know that our physiology is beautiful, and another to feel and embrace the fact. I’ll definitely address vagina attitudes in a post, much thanks to you. I really appreciate your honesty and support.
Another great post August. Back in the day(mid fifties or there about) it was commonly called a “girl cock” and It wasn’t unil some years later that I discovered that it even had a clinical name. So that’s what that thing is, I thought. I was lucky enough to get through my teens in the company of women who loved to “show ‘n tell”. Ah yes, the Girl Boner, most powerful organ of the human species.
I’m sure almost any man would be hard pressed to embrace girl boners.
I did not have sex ed. Well at least not in school anyway. I had to chuckle at the disorder being top description for females. I embrace the open mindedness that is emerging!
I am 10 months late to this website and just getting up to date on all the girl boner stuff, but still had to jump on here and say hello and tell you I think you’re a tad bit genius. This is so informative and, well, awesome. Good on you! Oh, and I have used the term “lady wood” for years! LOL. I must have heard it somewhere because I’m sure I didn’t make it up. Anyway, both great terms for the same thing. Loving your blog.
Thanks so much for popping by and for the lovely words. (“Lady wood” – LOL!) I’m touched that you find Girl Boner land so helpful. Fuel to my fire!
the word clit.erection isn`t correct really – in the most cases. The word erection is coming from Latin and means in English “to stand up”. So, I ask you, does the clitoris really stands up in a steep angle. Does it stands up like a cock in an angle of 180 degrees? No! Does it stands up in an angle of 90 degrees? Very rare, only a small part of women can do that.
How much does a clit really stands up? About 5-20% angle.
Women do always compare the number of nerves in the cock.head versus the glans of the clitoris. They “forget” that the glans of the penis isn`t the place of the most nerves. The most neves are ending inside of the foreskin, so the place for pleasure is directly below the glans of the penis and it is only the side, where is running the tube for sperm and urine.
This area isn`t much bigger than the place of pleasure at the clit.
Independant of this, I find this text very interesting.
It`s an error if always people explainagain and again, that men have the most pleasure at their glanses. The most desire is inside the foreskin, that`s the difference to the clits, which have their most peasure at their female glanses.
LMAO my sex ed experience was horrifying i had one of the punker kids send me a note telling me she wanted me! I remember looking over at her once i read the letter and her licking her lips and running her fingers threw her half shaved head. I was a virgin at the time i was completely horrified. but now that i think about it it’s pretty hilarious.
I’m a senior guy with grandchildren. These kids are in need of – and deserve to be educated. Problem is, their parents are not disposed towards enlightening them. Were I to suggest this void be addressed I’d be characterized as a dirty old man.
In addition, I’m probably better equipped to provide a more complete monologue on the subjects in affording them a complete picture of sex how-tos and ‘not-tos’ than any of their parents … having lived my 80+ years with a libido measuring 15 – on a scale of 1 to 10!
My question, then: How does one deal with this situation w/o suffering the wrath of all family members?
Gramps