Edging, faking it, sexy stories, toys! This week I’m excited to share highlight from my March 2020 studio session with author Autumn Bardot and listener, Kate, plus related bonus tips.
- A myth involving orgasms and having a baby
- Reasons some people fake orgasms (they’re not all bad!)
- How to edge your way to stronger orgasms
- How to get there more efficiently when sex feels “too long”
- How fantasies we don’t act on can be helpful
- Problems with aging-related sex myths – and strengthening alternatives
- Autumn’s take on writing sex scenes
- A disability-related orgasm myth, thanks to Sammy Rei Schwarz
Learn much more in this week’s Girl Boner Radio episode!
“Orgasm Myths and Erotica – updated replay!”
a lightly edited Girl Boner podcast transcript
What do you remember learning about orgasms early on? I honestly can’t think of anything, really, except that they were sort of alluded to on TV. Oh, and that boys might do so in their sleep during puberty. People of all sexes and genders can have wet dreams, by the way, and not just during puberty. So there’s one myth debunked.
Back in March of 2020, before the world here in the U.S. changed because of the COVID-19 pandemic, I had what would be my last session at the studio I’d been recording in. That day, I was joined by Autumn Bardot, an educator and author who writes historical fiction and historical erotica. In particular, she writes about “fearless women and dangerous passions.” We also had a special surprise guest, sort of a tiny live audience, who also weighed in. And we heard from another erotica author, on one of her favorite orgasm myths to debunk.
Today you’ll hear the best parts of that session, plus some added information and related tips I thought you may find helpful. I hope you enjoy it.
[encouraging, acoustic music]
August: Thank you for joining me, Autumn.
Autumn: Hi. Thank you for having me, August. I love your podcast and that it sheds light on some of the most intimate aspects of our lives.
August: That means so much to me, thank you.
I would love to hear a bit about your personal journey. What is something you remember learning about sex or sexuality when you were growing up?
Autumn: I had a mother who was very open about sexuality. And so she. She just told me everything. She gave me books. She actually gave me a book on masturbation.
Autumn: At like 14. Yeah.
Autumn: And she was very open about that. She’s still very open. Because she’s open, you’re able to come at it kind of more honestly, and ask her questions, which was amazing. And I think I carried that through with my own children, because I’ve always been very open and honest with them. So if you ever come to my house, sometimes the conversation can be a little bit dicey. .
August: I wanna come over. That’s amazing. So did you know what masturbation was by the time she brought this book?
Autumn: I didn’t. She just gave me this book. I read it and I thought, Hmm. It was very, it was illuminating. It was eye opening.
August: That is really amazing.
I’m so grateful that both you and your mother had that wherewithal because as you know, it’s a rare thing and it’s a very empowering thing. At what point did you decide to delve into writing erotica?
Autumn: I started writing maybe about six years ago. I wrote under a different pen name, paranormal romance, and then I thought, you know, I like historical fiction. I’m gonna start writing historical fiction. There was definitely some scenes that were spicy, like I like the spicy scenes.
I had an agent at the time and she sent something over from the publisher and said, do you wanna include some of your, scenes because they’re looking for someone to write a book about erotic myths.
And since you do historical fiction and you have all the spice in there. And so I sent over… three scenes from different books, all different kinds of flavors and different kinds of attitudes and tones. And they came back and they said, we want you to write this myth book.
And that was “Legends of Lust”. And so while I was writing that I came and I was writing the queen of Sheba myth. Okay. Or it’s not really a myth. It’s more of a legend. I’m writing her story. And I said just the one little part of where she meets king Solomon, and I get to that part and I’m like, she needs a whole story.
I need to know more. And then I went back right after that and I wrote “Confessions of a Sheba Queen.”
August: Which just released. Congratulations.
Autumn: Thank you. Thank you.
August: It’s so exciting. It’s in a wonderful book.
You’ve said that you wish you were one 10th as brave as the women you write about. I think people who don’t know a lot about erotica, that is not something that they would consider. They would think, oh, this book is full of orgasms. Cool. Which is great. But your books have a lot of depth to them.
Autumn: Thank you.
August: Tell us more about that and that mission that you have. Why is it so important to portray these brave women?
Autumn: I love writing about brave women, reading about brave women, because what I had to deal with in my life. I’m on my third marriage. This one’s a keeper. The first two, not so good. I left them. I had children. I had at that time, no career, no job. And I had to be very brave. I wasn’t getting any kind of support from really anybody. The advice was kind of. Mm, not, not great advice.
I went back to school, which everybody told me, “Autumn, you shouldn’t really do that. Don’t go back to school.” I went back to school. I got a degree in English, went and got my Master’s, kept just chugging along. And after my Master’s, I said, “Hey, I’m gonna write a book.” I always wanted to write a book. All those steps, leaving husbands, having children, all that took a lot of bravery. And I think that’s something women need more of. They need to see how women overcame things.
And there’s so many fabulous women in history who did amazing things. And when I write about these women and Sheba . I mean what she did. I don’t think I could ever do what she had to do to become queen or any of the other women I write about, but in my heart I can. And in my spirit I can.
And I think that’s important for all women, I think, because sometimes we tend to be a little bit less brave than we could be.
August: That’s true. That’s true. And I think living vicariously, these brave acts might help us do something in our own lives that are, might seem quote unquote small, right?
August: Like a brave step. Looking back on my life, when people have told me I’m brave for certain things, they aren’t usually the things that felt brave to me, right? Like one example I have shared, I wrote a story about how after I had been diagnosed with this eating disorder, one of the bravest things I ever did was eat breakfast.
August: And I wrote a whole story about eating that breakfast, which I can still feel so much emotion around. So it’s in these daily experiences, these things that people don’t necessarily see that are so important. And I really appreciate that.
So a little bit about the special surprise guest I mentioned. Leading up to the recording session, a listener named Kate emailed me, letting me know she planned to be in Los Angeles. I ended up inviting her to join us in the studio to listen and discuss orgasm myths. I’m still so glad she agreed.
August: Kate, thank you for being here by the way, we have a wonderful listener in the studio.
Kate: Well, it’s a pleasure to be invited. Thank you.
August: Would you share one orgasm myth that you would like to debunk?
Kate: Yes. One of my favorites, years ago, I heard from an old lady who told me that the orgasm of a woman is connected to the gender of the baby she conceives. So, which means. Apparently if the woman orgasms, it’s gonna be a boy if she doesn’t, it’s a girl. Or the other way around, because I thought it was so ridiculous, I kind of forgot what it was.
August: It was probably the first one because people assume that if you don’t have an orgasm, it is somehow a female experience, which by the way, is another myth, right? Because plenty of people with a penis, plenty of men, experience sex without orgasm, or maybe struggle with orgasm and they also may fake orgasm. So these are not gendered things that happen per se. So that’s really interesting.
Autumn: Yeah. I thought it was very funny. Yes.
August: What is one, Autumn, that you would like to bring up? I know there are many.
Autumn: Um, you mentioned edging. I’ve never heard that term, so that is so cool.
There, Autumn was talking about a listener segment she had heard. A listener had written in, sharing that she wanted stronger orgasms and sex therapist Dr. Megan Fleming and I shared a bit about edging as a possible way to do so.
Edging, also known as orgasm control, when you get close to orgasm, then stop. Then get close again, then stop, to build up blood flow and arousal. You basically delay orgasm in a way that revs up excitement — although it can be slightly frustrating, too. You can edge with a partner, where you take turns taking each other through it, or on your own during a solo play session.
Autumn: And as you were discussing edging, all I could think of is that when you read erotica, that’s a whole lot like edging for the reader. So you’re reading all this hot stuff and you’re like, mm I’m getting ready.
Autumn: And one of the things I have, I asked my Facebook listeners is why do we read erotica? And one of ‘em said, “it gets me ready for my husband.” And I thought, wow, that’s really cool. So perhaps it is, is that edging? I know if that’s a myth…
August: What that brings up is that sex is only the actual activity, this whole idea of foreplay. Usually it means the thing that happens before intercourse, or at least before you’re naked and rolling around, or people have different definitions of it.
But to me, it’s more about having what Dr. Megan calls, keeping your inner sexy pilot light on, to turn that on with erotica and to know that. Quote, unquote foreplay, if that’s a helpful term to you, think of it as it doesn’t have to be you with another person, it can be you with your erotica.
Autumn: It can be with… I guess maybe a good metaphor would be, you know, when you have something you want to eat and you just take a little lick or you smell it and you wanna eat it, but you just wanna savor it. And so it’s that, I love that term edging. It’s that this building up, and then it allows you to savor so much more the moment when it comes.
August: Yeah. Oh, that’s a great analogy. I love that so much, especially the smelling one, because you’re gonna wanna throw that in your mouth. Puns embraced.
I asked Sammy Rei Schwarz, who’s another erotica author. She’s also a phone sex operator to speak about a myth. She told me that as a chronically ill woman of color, she felt starved for representations of people like her in literature, having raw, real kinky sex.
And she added this. “Disabled people are rarely portrayed as sexual beings. And when they are, it tends to be one dimensional, objectifying and just plain boring. So this is awesome. She wrote the erotic, short story of kink and disability called “Boundless,” which is featured in the new anthology “Best Bondage Erotica of the Year, Volume One.”
The story is about a free spirited musician who finds her way back to herself after an accident affects her mobility of her limbs. And while she’s in rehab using a wheelchair, she has this very steamy affair with another patient who quote, “shows her the music that is still inside her.”
August: Yes, it sounds so delicious. And here is what Sammy had to say.
Sammy: Hey August. Thanks so much for spreading the word about my recently published erotica about kink and disability. So in that spirit, I’d love to share an orgasm myth that is harmful to everyone, but especially disabled folks. And that is the belief that orgasm is a fixed, unchanging, purely physiological reflex that can be triggered through a particular code of motions and repetitive stimulation to a particular spot on your equipment.
Like you gotta rub or stroke this magic spot at the perfect angle X number of times, and then boom, orgasm unlocked. Of course, learning about our anatomy and finding what kind of touch we like is super important, but we don’t give nearly enough attention to the fact that the most important sex organ is the brain.
We’ve all heard. Yet, so much of sex advice, erotica and porn focuses on the mechanical aspects of sex and masturbation. I’ve learned so much about this in my work as a phone sex operator, where it’s all about arousing the person’s mind. And the myth can be so discouraging for disabled people who might not be able to move in the same way as others, who may lack sensation in the genital region or not get erections. They often get the idea that because they’re missing some ingredient in the recipe, they just can’t have an orgasm. And that’s not true. There are perfectly abled people who have every ingredient intact, but still haven’t been able to have an orgasm.
So it’s not about that. Some people can have orgasms without erections. They can have orgasms from being touched on their neck or their knees. They can have hands free, no touch orgasms, which is very popular in erotic hypnosis. They can even have non genital orgasms feeling it somewhere like their feet or even in a phantom limb after amputation.
What I’m saying is the human brain and nervous system is amazingly plastic. And this is great news for people of every kind. Even if you have no trouble achieving orgasm and may have a particular formula worked out that generally gets the job done. Like for me, it’s that tiny little sweet spot tucked up under my clitoral hood.
You still might wanna experiment with something different. What about using a different hand, focusing on a different spot, focusing on touching your whole body, except between your legs, not touching yourself at all and thinking your way to orgasm or with a partner completely avoiding your usual routine.
Seeing how far you can get with words alone. There are so many possibilities. So, yeah, that’s my take on an orgasm myth that really annoys me. I hope you’ll check out my story and I wish everyone very happy orgasms.
August: Thank you so much, Sammy. That was so, so great. To learn more head to sammyreischwarz.com.
You can find “Best Bondage Erotica of the Year, Volume One” wherever books are sold. Sammy said it includes a whole range of diverse voices and celebrates bondage sex in all its human messy brilliance.
Kate brought up another myth that’s true in some, but definitely not all, cases. It is a myth in terms of her own personal experience.
August: What is another myth, Kate, that you would like to bring light to?
Kate: Um, that’s actually my favorite myth. It seems that a lot of men believe that women are faking orgasms to make them feel better, you know, make them feel great or, you know, polish their ego and, I’m afraid I’m probably disappointing many men right now by telling them that is not the case. A woman fakes very often an orgasm to shorten a process that is not enjoyable to her.
August: Thank you for bringing light to that. I think, I have heard from some people who relate to both of those, the idea of, I want to seem as though having an orgasm, because my partner is so focused on that’s how he feels a sense of accomplishment or out of embarrassment or shame.
But I’ve heard from many people who have said the sex take so long that I would rather fake it and then use my vibrator later. So there are all these different reasons…
I personally feel like, you know, I’m all about authenticity. So I really do think being real and honest is great, but I also think that if you do fake orgasms, you probably have a really valid reason and we have so little you know, education, which would help so much. Don’t you think, if we learned how to have pleasurable sex, then people might not try to get it over with?
Kate: I think so, too. Yeah. Yes. To me, just as an example, I would like to feel something, inside of me when having sex. And, I have to admit, I did shorten that process by faking an orgasm. Yes. You know, if it feels like throwing a wiener into a garage, it’s not really pleasurable, so that’s why I shortened the whole thing.
August: And another option, if you relate to that, if you feel like, because we’ve talked about “does size matter” and we can experience pleasure in so many different ways, right?
But some people really do love that feeling of being filled up and it’s very important to them. So also bringing a toy out is a great option and ideally one that you can all feel comfortable with.
I would talk to your partner first, right? Right. Not to say, like, by the way, I’m going to bring out a dildo. But I think it could be helpful.
By the way, in a study published in 2019, involving over 1,000 straight women, about 58% of the participants reported faking an orgasm at some point.
Reasons they shared for faking included:
- They wanted their partner to feel successful (about 57%).
- They wanted sex to end because they were tired (about 45%).
- They cared about their partner and didn’t want them to feel bad (about 38%).
I also heard from a listener once who said she learned how to orgasm by faking it – you know, fake it ‘til you make it. She said the experience of faking it was hot, too, like roleplay or sexy acting and that she still had fun. So maybe not an ideal scenario – I’m sure she would have preferred already being able to climax. But that’s far from “bad.”
Also, while it’s less talked about, some men and people with a penis also fake Big Os. At least one survey showed that when that happens, it often has to do with self esteem, wanting their partner to feel like they did a good job, so to speak. I imagine shame around not getting there plays a role pretty often, too, in all genders.
If you relate to the scenario Kate brought up, wanting to make sex end faster, here’s a tip: consider inviting your partner to a mutual masturbation – aka a side-by-side solo play – session, where you makeout and get yourselves off. Most people come the easiest and fastest on their own. [more…]
August: Another myth that I think is really interesting is that everyone should be able to orgasm from penetration alone. Or sometimes we hear the opposite: that if you have a vulva, that oral and external play is gonna be your everything. And I think it’s important to know that we’re all different. Everyone’s different.
And we’re also different day to day. So the way that we experience orgasm one day is probably not gonna be the exact same we experience at another time. And having communication open is really big as well.
Autumn. I would love to hear, since you were studying masturbation before many of the rest of us, um, if, if you read that book . But I’m curious about your thoughts on this myth: masturbation ruins or takes away from orgasms with a partner.
Autumn: Oh, I don’t think so. I think it would enhance it. because I think the more you feel sexually alive and turned on the more sexually, alive and turned on you’re going to be. it’s just like maybe a muscle, if that would be an analogy. So I would think if you’re gonna masturbate, that’s just gonna help maybe later on when your, when your special someone is there. And gives you confidence that knowing that if I can do it myself, I can do it with anybody.
August: It’s true. yeah. And knowing your body and experiencing orgasms really does have a, beneficial impact on all sex that you have. We know that. So it’s, it’s important, especially, you know, for example, leading up to perimenopause or menopause, if you are sexually active, which includes of course, solo play, that you’re less prone to things like vaginal dryness or, you know, so those are, those are important things that we don’t always hear about.
Kate, I know you have another myth swirling in your head. I can see it.
Kate: Well, in the old days, actually, it was said that women are not have to be fun during sex. It’s their job to make the men have fun, but they’re not to orgasm. You know, an orgasm for a woman is a sin. She never talked about it.
August: You know, I had a guest on who grew up in a cult and she was taught that sex is supposed to be painful and if you are a woman, you are not allowed to experience pleasure. So that’s very real and probably still in some circles, which is very sad.
Autumn: I have another myth… The one you brought up, August. Um, I had a hysterectomy very early in my life, 40, for various reasons and. Everybody told me once you you hit menopause or you have hysterectomy, you won’t have that natural lubrication anymore.
Kate: Maybe some women have that issue. I didn’t have that. So once again, it’s a personal thing. I didn’t have that issue and I’ve told people I have no problem. It’s still all working.
August: See? And I think it’s really important , if all we hear are those, those myths that everybody is this way it can become self-fulfilling because if you’re expecting sex to not be pleasurable, you’re expecting orgasm to be bonus.
If you’re expecting everything to shrivel up when your eggs stop being produced. Then it’s very easy to kind of go, oh, well, I’m not feeling in the mood, that must be premenopause or menopause, therefore, and then you don’t take those steps to nurture something you don’t think exists. So thank you for pointing that out.
Kate: You know, I think, um, The excuse that a lot of women used, let’s say like 30 years ago. Oh, I’ve got a headache. Oh, I’ve got a migraine that’s probably because sex was not pleasurable to them.
August: And maybe we didn’t yet realize that orgasms reduce pain. Not that you have to have sex when you have a headache.
Kate: Of course not.
August: But it does help.
Kate: The orgasm gets rid of the headache.
August: It really can. I have a vibrator that I consider my headache vibrator because I’m not super into the really, really intense vibrators. That’s just not my favorite thing, but if I’m completely not. Cause when I have a bad headache, I’m not turned on. I need to make myself be turned on if I want to be. And that toy is so medicinal. So there’s very much something to that.
Kate: I could imagine, you know, and then then later on in life, uh, a woman uses that, you know, never felt pleasure during sex uses her menopause as an excuse, not to have it. Which I think is extremely sad.
I’m with you? You know, it depends on the person. It depends on how much he enjoys it. How much she enjoys herself . And I never had that problem either, you know, menopause and, , as, as you said, August shriveling up, no way. Uh uh, I’m gonna turn myself on no matter what comes my way.
August: Thank you. I’m so glad to hear that.
Sex, desire and our bodies do change with increasing age – that’s true for all sexes and genders. And while changing hormone levels do often affect things like wetness versus dryness and the ability to maintain erections and such, none of that is a sex life or orgasm death sentence. [More about vaginal dryness causes: allergy medication, sleep loss…)
And I love that both Kate and Autumn have proven that the idea that menopause or middle age means you’re no longer a sexual or orgasmic being is mythical.
August:There’s a myth that relates to erotica. I know that this is an important point for you, Autumn, that sex and erotica can be so much more than orgasm. Would you speak to that a little bit? Sex being a metaphor, something that can symbolize so much more.
Autumn: When we read a book of erotica, we’re reading it for the sex and the story. The writer, I think, and a lot of times, besides real life where you’re having sex, because you know, hubby’s home and you’re, and you’re hot and horny. That’s one thing.
But in literature, you get to like zero in on focus on specific sex acts, which I think always are going to mean a little bit more. So I come at it with a little bit more of a literature understanding, maybe a more nerdy view. But to me when I put in that sex act, I really feel like a lot of times it can offer the reader more, um, an idea of what the character is really like.
It can help further the plot along. It can kind of reveal their emotions. What’s going on in society, how do they feel about it? Their relationship, who’s on top. Who’s on bottom. Who’s taking control. I think a lot of it’s just the emotional state of a character. Look at like different sex scenes in literature.
Sometimes, especially when I write it a lot of times I wanna give it, like if it was a taboo act, I wanna show them breaking a taboo, because of their strength. Or having some kind of epiphany or enlightenment. In queen of Confessions of aa Sheba Queen, she uses sex for a variety of different reasons. Sometimes she uses it to get what she wants. Sometimes she uses it to manipulate. But there’s a scene in there where it’s a very powerful sex scene and she feels a little bit ashamed and guilty for it, but then ultimately it reached her goal, sometimes just for sheer pleasure.
So I think when we are writing a sex scene, there’s so much more we can add to the character or to the plot, or to a conflict then. Sex that we have with our, with our partner, um, that usually doesn’t have any underpinnings. You know, if I’m I’m having sex with my husband, I’m not thinking, Ooh, you know, what am I really having sex here for today this morning?
But in a book, you get to really fine tune it and shed a spotlight on that particular act at that particular time and give it like a little bit more flavor. Whether the reader sees it or not doesn’t matter to me. I kind of like doing that, just kind of for me. To me, just opens up a lot more about the character.
August: That’s beautiful. How has writing erotica and perhaps this book impacted your connection to your sexuality or, or maybe your sexuality as a whole?
Autumn: I think that, I mean, I’m older. I’ve had a couple husbands, a couple kids. I liked writing it because it enabled me to kind of flesh out really cool scenes that I probably would never do, but man, I like to think about them and I wanna be in the moment with them.
When you write something, when you have these characters doing things, you wouldn’t necessarily do that or, or act that way, but you get to pretend. In a sense it’s like you’re acting. You get to be an actor and you act out any kind of fantasy or anything that you want in your characters and let them behave the way you would wanna see it played out.
And that to me, it’s very empowering because I get to do something that a lot of people don’t. They don’t get to write all about those fantasies. They get to read mine and that’s empowering. That makes ’em happy. It takes them out of their world into another world. It gets them to live vicariously through a character. And if you can have that experience, that’s just another cool thing in your life.
August: Absolutely. And I love the point you brought up about living out a fantasy without it happening in real life. That’s such an important point because so many fantasies are best kept in the imagination and that doesn’t make it any less of a fantasy that you didn’t act on it physically.
Because again, going back to Sammy’s clip, the mind and the brain are so strong in our sexuality and our pleasure. It’s one reason that so many people who identify as straight really love gay porn. You could be a lesbian who gets really turned on by a heterosexual couple sex scene in a book or a movie. Our fantasy life is its own beautiful, vibrant thing.
August: What’s your thought on that? I feel like you have something to share again, Kate.
Kate: It’s just, these fantasies, as you say, are best kept in our heads. Yes. That doesn’t mean we cannot use them during sex. They can have a very unique and very sensitive effect. Let’s say, just as an example, if you have a fantasy about your gardener, who you think is extremely sexy because he’s working out. And, all of a sudden, your fantasy, just projects him into the bedroom with you. The effect can be extremely, unique.
August: And in that way, whether you’re on your own or with somebody or somebodies, having that extra element benefits everyone. Right?
Kate: I think so, too. Yes.
Autumn: Luckily, no one has been able to mind read to anybody yet because it’s great to keep things in your head. Nobody has to know, how outrageous or anything that you are. And I think that’s kind of the benefit of, of reading and just having all these weird thoughts.
I know, uh, when my husband, when he reads my books, he looks at me and he says, “I look at you and you seem so normal. And then I realized you have all this weird stuff going on in your head.”
August: But I bet he says it with a big smile. I bet it’s very endearing and cool.
Autumn: It’s a little scary, he says..
August: You’re so right. We get to have this privilege of our own private fantasy life and we can keep it to ourselves. We can share it through expression. We can also talk about it when we want to, which can be really titillating as well, to chat about, what is a fantasy you’ve had, or imagine we were doing this.
Maybe you’ve always fantasized about a threesome. You may decide you wanna have one, or you may decide that you just wanna talk about it. And that is a very hot and hot enough and maybe better for you so that’s right. There’s no wrong way to go about it, for sure.Thank you for bringing that up.
Would you tell everyone just a little bit more about your book?
Autumn: It’s “Confessions of a Sheba Queen” and there’s so much enigma about her. When you look at the artwork around her, even the artwork from different cultures is very different.
They portray her as everything from very pale and white to very dark, from Ethiopia. So I had this awesome character with such divergent understandings, depending on what, what literature you were reading from . And I said, I wanna kind of merge all of this together and, and make her real, make her alive and make her this amazing, powerful woman, which she already was, but we just don’t know that much about her.
So it starts with her journey of how she actually became the queen of Sheba. And even that there are some myths, too, of how she became a queen that are extremely intriguing.
They basically said she walked into the palace and killed the king and said, “I’m queen!” And okay, I’m thinking, how does that happen? And that was actually one of the most fun scenes to write about was how she actually goes into that palace and becomes queen.How did she really do it? How does a woman who nobody knows, convince a whole country that she is the queen.
And of course there’s lots of super hot sex…. It was amazing and fun to write. It really was.
August: Kate, do you have a thought you would like to leave listeners with as a listener who’s turned the tables here, usually you’re the one hearing those messages. What would you like to share?
Kate: Don’t listen to myth. Just enjoy yourself whenever it’s possible.
August: Mm-hmm beautiful. Words to live by for sure. Autumn, what would you like to share?
Autumn: I love what Kate said. Yes, definitely. I think, and my husband and I were discussing this as we were driving in here today, be your best you and find a partner that loves you for you. And if you don’t ditch ’em, get rid of them. You be your best you, because you can’t be anything else. And I think once I realized that and embraced that I had a lot more fun in my life and be braver because I was just me.
August: It shows. Thank you both for sharing your hearts and your voices and your thoughts with us today. It’s been so fun.
Autumn and Kate: Thank you.
On a last note for today, I have a toy recommendation – something that caught my eye at The Pleasure Chest – and that relates to another myth: If you need, or just really prefer, to experience orgasm with a toy, that there’s something “wrong” with you. Nope. Not even a little.
This month, The Pleasure Chest is celebrating “perfect pairings” – toys you can use together to power up your play and double your pleasure.
I was especially struck by the We-Vibe Date Night Special Edition Couple’s Vibrator Set. It’s a special edition set that includes their bestselling Nova 2 – which is a vibrator that can stimulate the clitoris and G-spot at the same time – and the Pivot – which is a vibrating cock ring, essentially, that you could also place around a dildo. Check it out and explore the perfect pairing collection at thepleasurechest.com.
And, if you’re enjoying Girl Boner Radio, I would so appreciate a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or the iTunes Store — and if you’d share links with your friends. You can also support the show, and get fun extras, by joining my community at Patreon.com/girlboner.
Thanks so much for listening (or reading!).
[outro music that makes you wanna dance…]
Psst: Don’t forget to check out check out Ontario Wildlife Photography by Noah Cole!