“Pure” Christian to Empowered Cam Girl: Reina del Mundo’s Story

 

“Pure” Christian to Empowered Cam Girl: Reina del Mundo’s Story

a lightly edited Girl Boner Radio transcript

Note: This episode contains brief talk about an eating disorder, about midway in. Please take care of yourself while listening and skip ahead if it helps.

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[Intro music…]

Reina:

I would say in relationship to camming, and you know, doing the content creation that I do now, I have never felt more beautiful in my skin than I do in this moment.

Before I clicked broadcast. I was so scared because you know, I’m a human…. I have cellulite, I have stretch marks, I get pimples. I’m just a regular person. 

I was really nervous. I was like, oh man, are these these guys gonna pick me apart? Are they going to be mean to me? And camming’s really taught me that, for every lid, there is a pot. Like I’m someone’s cup of tea. And if I’m not, they can click on through and find the one that they enjoy.

[encouraging, acoustic music]

August (narration):

Reina Del Mundo is an adult content creator and cam girl who’s built a thriving community and business she loves, after giving OnlyFans a try on a stress-induced whim. 

I found her journey to this work fascinating, especially given that she grew up deeply religious, in the Bible Belt. That’s an area in the U.S. where evangelical Christianity—where many of the so-called “purity culture” messages come from—plays an especially strong role.

Growing up there, Reina went to church multiple times per week.

Reina:

And I was taught that sex was sinful. I was taught that sex was just for a married man and a married woman to have together.

My mom is a nurse. And so I was taught a lot about the factual aspects of sex, like how babies are created. I knew about my own reproductive system, but I was never taught about the fun side of sex. I was never taught about the creative side of it. And I remember asking my mom, if I could go on birth control when I was 16 and her telling me no. And I actually had to cross state lines to get myself onto birth control because she didn’t want to condone me having sex. 

I was never taught about pleasure. I was never taught about my anatomy in regards to pleasure.

I think I was an adult when I figured out what my clitoris was.

August (narration):

If you were nodding along in “same here” fashion, hearing that—well, same here. Pleasure still isn’t mentioned or explored in most sex ed curriculums in the U.S.,, Bible Belt or not.

Reina attended a public school, where she learned about abstinence. And as she pointed out, abstinence-only programs don’t work. Kids who learn to “just say no” to sex not only say yes more often, but they have higher rates of STIs, sexual assault and teen pregnancies than kids who receive comprehensive sex ed. 

Reina remembers a vivid example of another message purity culture teaches, that happened in one of her health classes.

Reina:

First, they took all the boys and girls aside and they taught the girls about their periods. They taught boys about deodorant and puberty, and then they brought us back together and they called me to the front and they were like, “Reyna, come up to the front.” And they called this other guy up to the front, too.

And they said, “We’re going to demonstrate what happens when you have sex with a lot of partners.” So they gave us a piece of clear packing tape. Health teacher stuck it to my forearm and she stuck it to his forearm. And she gave everyone in the room a piece of clear packing tape and they all stuck it to their forearms.

And she said to me, “Reyna, go around the room and stick your packing tape to every boy in the room and then come back.” And she said to the boy, “Go stick your packing tape to every person’s forearm in the room and then come back.” And when we did, she held at both pieces of our tape, but of course they had skin cells all over them.

So they weren’t able to be seen through anymore. And then she tried to stick them together and they didn’t stick well together. And she was like, “This is what happens when you have sex with a lot of people, you have sex with every single person that they’ve ever had sex with and the sex that you’ll have with the person you’re meant to marry won’t be as good.” 

And then she gave us a new piece of packing tape, stuck it to my arm, stuck it to his arm, and then stuck them together. And they were able to stick and you can still see through it. And she was like, “Look at that. That’s clean, pure sex.” 

That was in public school. I never learned how to put on a condom. I never learned about pleasure. I was taught like fear tactics around here’s worst case scenario about STDs, which the pictures that we were shown, the verbiage that was used, wasn’t even indicative about actually being able to recognize real STD symptoms. So it was very counterproductive. 

August: 

Wow. Do you remember how you felt when that exercise played out? 

Reina: 

Embarrassed really embarrassed. I felt like I was already gross and I was really young at this time. I think I was like 12 or 13 and I was so embarrassed that I was the one that had to go and stick my tape to all the boys. And I remember when I was sticking my tape to them, like not being able to look them in the eye and just feeling like I was doing something dirty and wrong, even though I wasn’t even doing anything.

I was just, you know, doing an example and you know, the little girls in the class, like snickering and yeah. Just feeling like, oh, this is so weird. 

August (narration): 

Around that same time, when Reina was 12, she started having crushes on girls and figured she must be a lesbian.  And at 14, she came out to her mom. 

Reina:

And like I said, I’m, I grew up in the Bible Belt in the nineties. Like I had never heard the word bisexual or pansexual. That verbiage didn’t exist. All I knew was that you were gay or you were a lesbian and it was wrong if you were. Or you were straight and everybody loved that. And so until I was in high school, I actually thought I was gay. 

August (narration):

And she is, she said, but in a different way than she thought. 

Reina:

I remember my mom getting really upset with me—and my mom’s grown, a lot and changed a lot since this happened. So lots of credit to mom—but the first time I came out to her, she was like, “oh, what you love to munch carpet?” And I was like, carpet, I don’t even have a carpet. Like, what does that even mean? It was so confusing. I just remember the tone in her voice and the look on her face told me that it was wrong. What I, what I was saying was wrong. 

And so I shoved it back down, hid it back down. And when I was 16, I finally met a boy that I liked because before this I had seen so many beautiful girls that I was like, oh my gosh, she goes, they’re so amazing, and you smell nice. They would all be like, oh, this boy or that boy. And I was like, he eats his own boogers! Like he’s awful. Why do you like him?

August (narration):

At 16, she was feeling differently, at least about one boy. 

Reina:

And I was like, “Mom, I found a boy that I like!” And she was so excited. She took me out for ice cream. She was so happy. We prayed the gay away and everything was fine. 

August (narration):

Of course, they hadn’t actually “prayed the gay away.” But at the time, that felt true. And even celebration-worthy.

Gradually, Reina started to unlearn the harmful messages she had absorbed. One big turning point came years later, while she was working as a nanny.

Reina: 

And I remember the kids were discovering that like—the little boy had a penis, the little girl had a vagina—and they were starting to awaken to that. And their dad was like, “Oh, don’t worry. They’re just at that age.” And I was like mind blown. Like I was at that age too, but I had to hide it.

And here was this conscious father talking to his children about a time and a place and consent. It was beautiful to watch and I remembered myself being 12 years old, maybe a little earlier, and starting to find girls attractive. And that was so confusing and not really finding a whole lot of boys attractive, but when I would, I’d be like, oh, thank God, I’m normal. And yeah, starting to discover and like touch myself and feeling also just like really dirty about that. And my mom, if she knew, she’d be mad at me. 

August (narration):

Meanwhile, she was hearing whispers among her peers, like so many of us did—the whispers many kids still hear—that if you’re a boy, or if you have a penis, you’ll definitely touch yourself. But what about girls? What if you have a vulva? Or if you’re intersex? 

Reina was a sophomore in high school when a female friend of hers gave her some worthy validation. 

Reina:

And she was like, “oh yeah, I masturbate.” And I was like, “Oh my God, you do it too?” Like, thank God because I thought I was so weird for doing this and really embarrassed about it.

August (narration):

When we’re taught to feel shame about our bodies and sexuality, we’re also more prone to things like depression, anxiety and eating disorders. 

Reina developed a dangerous eating disorder around the same time that she was starting to wonder about her sexual orientation and feeling embarrassed about her desires. She said the behaviors seemed to be passed down, modeled by an adult in her life.

Reina:

I struggled with anorexia and exercise bulimia so that’s where you restrict food. And then if I did end up like eating “too much,” I would exercise until I felt that I had burned off more than I had eaten. And so it was a really destructive cycle that continued into my early twenties. 

August (narration):

That all started changing when Reina became a farmer, living on a clothing-optional farm.

Reina:

And that helped me recognize like, wow! All bodies are good bodies. My body’s nothing to be ashamed of. My body’s really normal and really beautiful.

August (narration):

The clothing optional part meant seeing all sorts of bodies — not in a sexualized way, just normal. And that wasn’t the only part of the farm that brought healing.

Reina

Because suddenly I saw that food had this really beautiful divine purpose and that it was meant for nourishment. And I got to witness these like mini miracles every day when I’d plant seeds in the ground and see food pop up. It’s hard to be afraid of food when you’re witnessing it before your eyes. 

My weight has been up and down my entire life and it wasn’t until I was in my early twenties that I started to get comfortable with the fluctuations. When I was younger, I would like white knuckle my way through the ups and downs of, you know, gaining and losing weight. 

And I was so ashamed and uncomfortable in my body. And I felt really like, oh my God, no one look at me. I had shaved my head. I was like, oh, no one, no one even knows who I am in this country. This is the perfect place to be while I figure this out. 

And I remember I was getting out of the shower one day and I was walking past the mirror and I caught a glimpse of myself. Before I could even form a conscious thought my subconscious thought, wow, what a beautiful woman. And I stood there like naked in front of the mirror. And I really try to objectively look at my body. And I was like, man, I have these really gorgeous soft, beautiful hips. I look like a Renaissance painting. Like I have this soft, gorgeous tummy. 

Had this been that era I would have been so loved and revered. And why am I so upset to be in this body that’s so gorgeous and so capable and is taking me around all these countries and is doing this really hard laborious farm work and is supporting me like I need to love my body.

And so I made a decision from that point and the last – I’m 28 now -the last seven years of my life have been me accepting my body at all its different phases. And especially like, as I’m starting to get older and noticing changes with that, too. 

[chord strum]

August (narration):

By the way, exploring your body through self-pleasure, lube and sex toys can help you embrace your body, too. They’ve all played a big role in my own self-discovery — and if you read my Girl Boner book, you know that a particular toy was pretty critical for me. And I still love it. You can find that non-vibrating dildo as well as all sorts of popular wands, clit vibes, cock rings, kink sets and more at The Pleasure Chest. They’ve been celebrating sex positivity for decades, and offer free actually helpful education, too. Learn more and start shopping at thepleasurechest.com. Again, that’s The Pleasure Chest at thepleasurechest.com. 

[chord strum]

August (narration):

So Reina worked as a farmer for about seven years, traveling, growing food, and getting a degree in nutrition. She lived in a conscious community where she learned about nonviolent communication. That training inspired her to give public speaking a try, so she moved to New York, in search of a mentor. 

Reina:

And when I moved to New York, I met this wonderful man and he took me under his wing and he was like, I’m going to teach you everything I know. And we were on Wall Street, um, and all of these corporate businesses, corporate like facilities, and we were doing emotional intelligence and nonviolent communication training for these men who were like my dad’s age, who had been trading in the stock market since the eighties.

And I had to like sit there with grown men and be like, “Hey, when you call Johnny and asshole, it makes him feel bad. Don’t talk like that in office.” 

August (narration):

She said it all felt pretty silly. But through that work, she landed a couple of teaching jobs at universities. So when the pandemic hit, she was teaching and cooking for a wealthy man. 

Reina:

And then the man that I was cooking for laid all of this off and told us all that he changed his mind. He decided that he wanted to pay us all in cash and not as employees. So unemployment wasn’t an option. 

August (narration):

Then she found out that the paycheck she had been waiting for, for the classes she’d been teaching over the summer, wasn’t coming. 

Reina:

And they’re like, oh, we forgot to mention, summer is all pro bono. That’s all volunteer based. So thank you so much for your, your, uh, your classes and your knowledge and your time. I was like, whoa, like, let me just call my landlord and tell him him I’m volunteering.

August (narration):

How was she supposed to pay her bills?

Reina:

They were like, “we understand if you don’t want to work with us in the future.” And I was just like, oh my God, I am screwed. I don’t have any money. I just got laid off on one job. I’m not getting paid for the work I did all summer. If I had known that it would’ve taken paying work. 

And I was so lucky that my best friend, who I had known for years at this point, she’s a cam model. Her name’s Ada Lovelace. And she was like, “Well, Reina, you could just cam for a little bit and see if you like it and you can make your rent and, you know, see what happens.”

And so I decided in July of 2020, I was like, all right, I’ll cam for a little bit. And I’ll see what happens. And I’ll just do it to pay my bills this month and then I’ll be done. 

August:

Before you started, before you hit that broadcast button for the first time, how were you feeling about your sexuality? Take us to that moment.

Reina: 

Before I started camming, I felt like I was, I was pretty in charge of my sexuality. I didn’t exude myself as a sexual being. It wasn’t like my sexuality walked in the room before I did. But I felt, you know, I felt very comfortable with like my sexual partners, like asking for what I wanted. And the first time I clicked the button to go online and click the broadcast button, I had said in my head, I was like, maybe I’ll show my chest, but I’m not going to show anything else.

And before I know it, all the clothes are off and I’m like, woo hoo! This is great. I was definitely like a fish out of water.

And I got on that first day on cam and I loved it. It was so fun and I was cracking up and I was, you know, talking with all these people.

And I felt like for maybe the first time in my life, I got to be fully myself while, you know, quote/unquote working. Like I don’t even like to call what I do work because it feels like I’m hanging out with my friends. It’s such a sweet experience. 

August (narration):

Reina has been doing this work for close to two years now. And it’s only taken the work she’s done to embrace her body further. 

Reina:

I would say, in relationship to camming, and doing the content creation that I do now, I have never felt more beautiful in my skin than I do in this moment.

Before I clicked broadcast. I was so scared because you know, I’m a human. My body isn’t without flaws. I have cellulite, I have stretch marks, I get pimples. I’m just a regular person. 

I was really nervous. I was like, oh man, are these guys gonna pick me apart? Are they going to be mean to me? And I’ve been doing this for two years and I can count on one hand the amount of times that people have been discouraging or mean or rude about my body.

I am so praised and loved for the shape that I have. And camming’s really taught me that, for every lid, there is a pot. Like I’m someone’s cup of tea. And if I’m not, they can click on through and find the one that they enjoy.

August:

What can you share about your relationship with your mom today? You mentioned that she’s come a long way.

Reina: 

Yeah, my mom has come a long way, so my mom knows what I do. And I remember telling her, it felt like coming out all over again. I was like, okay, mom, sit down. Are you okay? It wasn’t an initial, like, ‘Woo hoo! Love that my daughter’s doing that on the internet.’

But she pretty quickly came around and she said, you know, “Reina, you’ve always succeeded at everything you’ve tried. And I know that this will be another thing that you will work hard at and you will succeed at and I support you.” And I really emphasized to her, you know, I’m safe. I am in my own home. I’m the only person that touches me. You know, this is all very much within my control. I also told her that I’m really happy. And for the first time in my life financially stable and what parent doesn’t want that for their child, for them to be happy and safe and on their own two feet.

August (narration):

That safety isn’t something Reina takes lightly, or for granted. When I asked her about any stigma she’s faced, she told me she considers herself “very lucky and very privileged.” At the same time, she would really like to see positive change—for all sex workers.

Reina:

I live in an area that is like pretty open-minded sexually. Every friend or family member that I’ve decided to tell about what I do has been incredibly supportive.

So I’m really lucky that I haven’t in my own personal life, faced a lot of, adversity there. I will say, you know, I appreciate that many celebrities have joined only fans and help start to break down the stigma of sex work and Only Fans and camming has made sex work so much more accessible and safe for a lot of people.

And I think the stigma that I would like to see broken down is just like the, dirtiness around adult content creation. A lot of people see me online doing this and they’re like, oh, THAT girl, you know? She’s this way or she’s that way. And it’s not like that. Like I said, I’m a regular person. I just choose to take my clothes off online to help support myself and to have fun. And, I would love to see that stigma broken down. 

Many people really love porn. They watch it, they consume it. And I appreciate this more like conscious consumption that’s happening, where people are starting to like pay their porn stars directly for their porn, because a lot of these women, or men or creators or whatever their content is put up. Some of them don’t even know what site is put up on and it’s being viewed for free. And that’s their work. That’s their time, their energy. That’s their body that they’re putting out there. 

And a lot of people don’t see it as real work, but we all pay taxes like everyone else. We are putting in our time and our effort. We hone our craft, as silly as that might sound for people. And we’re putting our bodies out there, you know? And just as somebody who is maybe doing a little bit of manual labor, we’re also moving our bodies and taking up energy and that kind of thing. So sex work definitely deserves to be recognized as real work. It deserves to be respected as real work and, sex workers deserve to be seen as real people.

August (narration):

As long as that isn’t the case, there will be some amount of risk involved. Which is why Reina shared this advice, for anyone considering giving adult content creation a try for themselves. 

Reina: 

If you are new to the cam world or to Only Fans I will say this, and this is what Ada Lovelace said to me before I ever started. And I’m glad she did. She said don’t put yourself out there unless you’re willing to be found and. I, like I said, very fortunate. I have not been found by anyone that I don’t want to be found in other parts of my life. , some websites allow for like geo blocking or like IP blocking, where you can like block certain states and things like that.

But you are putting yourself out there on the internet and the internet is forever. And so before you decide to make this plunge into sex work, decide, would you be okay if somebody that you possibly didn’t want to find that found that? 

I decided early on, okay. If somebody finds this, that I don’t want them to find it and they come to me and say something I’ll own it.

And I’ll be like—like I said to my mom—I’ve never felt more beautiful or comfortable. I’m safe, I’m happy. And that’s all that matters to me, but that might not be worth it to you. 

August (narration):

And of course, you don’t have to cam or create other adult content to reap many of the benefits she’s found. If you would like to move past sexual shame, as Reina has, she recommends seeking out a supportive partner or community.

Reina: 

I think that something that helped me so much, when I was in my early twenties, I was lucky enough to have a couple partners that really helped me break down my own barriers.

That’s something that would be so helpful is to find somebody that you feel really comfortable with to start talking about your sexuality with, and maybe that is a friend of yours that you can, you know, discuss like, Hey, is this thing that I’m feeling or experience the thing that I like? Is it normal? Is it okay? And decide whether or not it’s okay with you. 

The internet is a beautiful and wonderful place because whatever kink or fetish or interest or anything that you have, there is content out there for it. There’s also communities out there for it. There’s also forums out there for it. So kind of finding your like-minded people and if possible, finding that partner that allows you to explore and play in those areas that you might feel a little bit stuck in, in a very safe way.

August (narration):

And when you’re having sex with a partner, Reina added, “don’t be afraid to lead or instruct them. It’s not embarrassing and they will most likely appreciate it. If they don’t prioritize your pleasure, they might not be the best person to be sharing intimacy with.”

Amen to that. Learn more about Reina del Mundo by following her on Twitter at @make_it_reina. You can join her OnlyFans community at the the link in the show notes.

[acoustic chord riff]

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Thanks so much for listening.

[Outro music that makes you wanna dance!]