Lisa and Mike attended an upscale sex party that challenged beliefs they had about sex clubs. Ryn Pfeiffer took a workshop that led to an orgasmic retreat and weekly self-pleasure circles. Learn much more in this week’s Girl Boner Radio episode!
Stream it on Apple Podcasts/iTunes, Spotify, iHeart Radio or below. Or read on for a lightly edited transcript.
“A Sexy Masquerade and Erotic Recess”
a lightly edited Girl Boner Radio transcript
Lisa:
Go for it, Mike.
Mike:
I’m Mike. I’m a small business owner in southern California, and I love backpacking and DIY and food and cooking and gardening.
Lisa:
I’m Lisa, and I do administrative work for a large southern California based company. Like Mike, I also enjoy outdoor activities and making recipes and cooking and baking.
August (narration):
Mike and Lisa met through a dating app called KinkD, where you can connect with folks to explore your particular kinks with. They had both emerged from long term relationships that weren’t very satisfying and were enjoying “a very explorative moment” in their lives.
Mike:
It’s always a funny story, because in the beginning, Lisa told me, this is just going to be casual dating. You know, we’re just exploring all these kink elements.
Lisa:
And the reason for that was because I’d come out of a long term relationship, and I didn’t want to jump into anything afterwards.
The more I got to know Mike, the more I felt myself more invested in him. He did a really great job of making me feel seen and heard and creating a safe space for me to share my feelings. Whereas before I was used to being shamed and told how to feel.
I think that’s also another reason why I’ve been feeling more and more comfortable with exploring myself sexually. Because I am in a place where I am allowed to talk about the things that I’m interested in and express that I’m interested in, and it’s always met with curiosity versus shame.
August (narration):
Before long, their kink exploration became more, and they now consider each other primary partners. And their openness and ability to discuss their desires and explore together has evolved, too.
They delved into the swingers’ community early on and within two months of starting to date, they had their first swap with another couple—basically trading partners for a night of sex.
Mike:
–which really just was cathartic and ecstatic and like therapeutic and fun. We started talking about the idea of somewhere down the line hosting a sex party with more people. And that idea sort of simmered for a long time on the backburner.
August (narration):
Meanwhile, their network of people in the swinging community grew. And one day, one of Mike’s close friends told him about the Bocanegra Club, a private swingers club that hosts sexy, private masquerade parties. At first, Mike and Lisa weren’t too sure about it.
Mike:
Me and Lisa were both sort of skeptical of the idea of sex clubs, because we really enjoy authentic, meaningful connections with other people that we’re romantic with.
August (narration):
And a sex club sounded…impersonal and seedy.
Mike:
But we have this friend who was very enthusiastic about it, and we think very highly of her. And she convinced us to give it a try.
August (narration):
But the idea still didn’t exactly feel breezy to them. Leading up to the event, their inner butterflies were flapping wildly.
Lisa:
I was very nervous, because I’ve never pushed myself outside of my comfort zone to that extent before, going to a random house with a bunch of strangers. And in my head I was like, I’m gonna see some strangers having sex today. And that’s gonna be the norm. [soft laugh]
I was also very stressed out as far as what I was going to wear. In my mind, I wanted to wear a cocktail dress, because I had no intention of really engaging too much. I wanted to be more of an observer. And I was happy to watch Mike interact with his friend that also went with us and also see him engage with others as well. And yeah, when I couldn’t really find a cocktail dress, I started freaking out.
And I was talking to Mike and I told him, “I can’t really find anything. I might just have to wear lingerie because I know that it’s gonna fit me and it’s gonna look good.” And he was just like, “Yeah, that’s totally fine. There’s gonna be other women there that are probably not going to be wearing anything.” [soft laugh]
So, yes, as much as that was a very overwhelming thought for me, I eventually was, you know, came to terms with okay, I’m going to wear lingerie, and I’ll wear a robe. And yes, it’ll be a little revealing but I’ll have something to cover me to kind of make me feel a bit more at ease.
August (narration):
Lisa went with a bustier.
Lisa:
You know, you have the cups, but then there’s like a little bit of fabric right below so essentially like a corset but shorter. I also wore some underwear that weren’t too revealing but had a fun little crisscross pattern in the back, and it was an emerald green. I wanted to pick something else other than black and red, to I guess feel a little bit more sexy and stand out a little bit more.
August (narration):
The dress code at Bocanegra Club for men is either a suit or a tux. Mike chose a suit, and bought a special masquerade mask to wear with it.
The night of the event at the club arrived and the butterflies were still swirling.
Lisa:
Going up to the house, actually, to check in I was very, very nervous. And to the point where I was like shaking and Mike was checking in with me and, you know, trying to be there for me to calm me down.
Mike:
I was very nervous as well. And I was also shaking. I think it was nervousness around being in a totally different type of context for exploration of sex. We’ve done a lot of exploration one on one. We’ve done a lot of exploration in groups of four in home setting.
But I think the idea of going to an upscale masquerade in a very nice, very large home in Hollywood and there being 60 or 70 or maybe I don’t know how many people were there total in the end, maybe 100 people present. I’ve never done anything like that in my entire life.
Like I’m going in with a very sex positive and friendly attitude but am I going to be rejected? Am I going to try to engage with someone new, and am I going to be rejected from that? The fear of is this going to be my place? Are these going to be my people? I think there was a possibility that we were going to show up there, and we were going to say, “Whoa, this is not our scene.”
August (narration):
Spoiler: it totally was their scene.
Lisa:
But yeah, once we got through the check-in process and the coat check-in and everything like that, I started to ease into it a bit, and we had a bit of wine and that kind of helped calm my nerves, and I was able to relax a bit and actually enjoy just being in a space with people that felt the same way, in a sense, you know, some nervousness and anxiousness, but also a sense of excitement, to be at a party that was very sexy and open minded and very low pressure.
August (narration):
For all intents and purposes, they said, the event felt like a normal, upscale house party at first: security at the front door where you have to show your tickets, the coat check Lisa mentioned.
There were people lounging around outside the jacuzzi, dipping their feet in, people standing in couples or small groups on the backyard lawn, others walking around inside the house.
Mike:
So for the first segment of the evening, it was us walking around with our drinks, exploring the house and chatting with new people, which everyone there that we talked to was very friendly, and very sex-positive.
August (narration):
Lisa often leans on Mike to approach people, when going into group settings. She said she doesn’t feel like she’s great at approaching strangers and starting up conversations.
Lisa:
But as Mike mentioned, everybody there was pretty nice so it was very easy to just go up to someone and be like, “Hi! My name is so and so. Nice to meet you. What’s your name?” Kind of ask how they ended up there. Some people were just like, “Oh, yeah. My friend invited me this morning, and she was like, ‘Don’t worry. We got you on your mask, and we’re gonna go.’”
And for me it was very like eye opening, like Oh, my gosh. There are some people that just throw themselves into the deep end and they’re okay, with them and here they are. And they seem totally at ease and comfortable with where they are.
And so I was like, in my head, I was like, Oh, my gosh, I created all this anxiety for myself by just getting too in my head. And like, in some ways, like being a bit insecure like Mike was saying, Do I belong here?
But having someone like Mike there, and even our friend, it was easy to just kind of go into conversation to put my mind at ease and just get to know people on a personal level. I feel like at the end of the day if I could do that, then I would be okay.
Mike:
And after maybe about a half hour of drinks and chatting with people that we were meeting, we felt like we were ready to go back upstairs to the master bedroom and start getting ready to play, start getting ready to have sex.
[club music]
August (narration):
So they went up to the master bedroom. When they toured the house earlier, no one was having sex anywhere. Now, in the bedroom, they came upon four people on the bed having sex [orgasm sound], and others standing nearby chatting, some watching others play.
Mike:
I remember distinctly there was a couple in the corner where a man was sitting in a chair, receiving a blowjob from a woman. [deep voice moaning] It was pretty easy sitting down on that bed and sort of like starting to have our own threesome, next to these other four people who were having sex.
Lisa:
Mike knew his friend and he had given me a bit of her backstory and what she was interested in. It was, like he had said, very easy for us to kind of just transition into engaging with each other and making out.
Mike:
And at a certain point I asked Lisa and our date, I sort of whispered into each of their ears, “You feel comfortable joining these other four people in an orgy?” Both of them said, “Yeah, I feel good about that.”
August (narration):
Mike turned to the four people and said, “Hey, how do you feel about joining us and having an orgy right now?”
Mike:
And they said, “Yeah! Let’s do it.” So we just sort of joined with them and melted into one big group. I think that was all of our, in our group of three, that was all of our first real official orgy.
And at that point, it was like all of the nervousness was out of the window.
We were in group sex mode, which is a headspace that we’re pretty familiar with at this point. We’re ready to have a good time, there’s no more inhibition.
Lisa:
I was taking a bit more of a backseat. I was good with kissing and touching and caressing.
I think just being on the bed with a bunch of strangers, I thought it would be funny to just like look over to the other guy, and I was like, “Hey, do you mind if I kiss you? Like, you look like a friendly guy.” [laughs] And then we just started kissing and making out. And what I really enjoyed about that was just how inviting everybody was and accepting everybody was.
Mike:
So that went on for a while. I know I came during that orgy. I hope that a lot of other people who are involved in that seven person orgy also came. It really started with a bang.
August (narration):
Mike and Lisa not only had an incredible time at the event, but they learned a great deal about themselves.
Mike:
One of the takeaways for me was breaking through this idea that I have a strong preference for intimacy with strictly with people that I’ve built rapport with. It’s hard for me to get aroused if I’m not with someone that I know to some extent and somewhat intimately and have some rapport with.
I think in a lot of ways I do love having those connections but what I really discovered at this party for myself, like in that first orgy experience—you know, getting one of the best blow jobs in my life from a woman that I don’t know her name. I didn’t catch her name. And she swallowed my cum like and it was a really wonderful sexual moment.
And I realized from that experience and numerous other experiences throughout that evening, Oh, I have this sexual side of myself that I didn’t realize that it was there. That I can connect sexually, in a very different way with someone, than I thought was one of the only ways that I could connect sexually with people. So that was very eye opening for me, like opening up a whole new layer of sexuality at this moment in my life.
Lisa:
One thing that I really enjoyed was just connecting with people that think similarly and have similar mindsets because I feel like the more authentic we are, the easier it is for us as human beings to connect. And that’s something that I’ve been focusing on a lot this past year is just making genuine, authentic connections without putting any pressure or expectations on those connections. When I do that, I gain a lot more from meeting people.
Just being in this setting where there’s just no judgment, it’s easy to just kind of strike up conversations with people and you can walk away with making a new connection that you might not have necessarily made had you not attended something like this.
So for me, it was a testament to remind myself if I ever feel anxious about attending an event like this again, or maybe stepping out of my comfort zone, is just kind of looking at this experience and being able to remind myself of how fulfilling it was.
Another thing that I took away was that I really enjoy being flogged. [soft laugh] And I’m not particularly one to like to draw attention to myself. But there was one instant in the evening where Mike’s friend who had invited us to this event was flogging others. And I turned to his friend and I was just like, “Hey, do you want to go up there and get flogged with me?” And she was totally up for it.
I think when I was in that moment I kind of forgot about everybody else that was at that party, and I was just enjoying that experience for what it was.
Mike:
You’ve got to really build that picture. [Lisa laughs] You were the center of attention of the whole party, I would say, for that.
August (narration):
He said that everyone in the backyard watched as Lisa took that flogging.
Lisa:
Yeah. And it was weird because I didn’t feel that.
August (narration):
She said it felt like her own private moment, which is sort of analogous to the whole party experience for Lisa. Her nervousness fell away as her authentic desires and connections set in. [soft voice sighing/moaning]
With the world opening up more and vaccinations increasing, some folks are setting their sights on new sexual adventures.
If you’re among them and considering going to a sex party for the first time at some point, Mike said his top advice is to go in with zero expectations.
Mike:
I didn’t have any expectations, per se, going in but I did have hopes. But I think going into experiences like that having no expectations. So just saying I’m going to go there, and I’m going to see what it’s like. I might even show up, and I might not feel comfortable there in the first half hour. And that’s okay, if I just want to leave after that.
August (narration):
He also recommends having a conversation about that with whoever you plan to attend with—assuring each other that you can all choose to stay, or leave at any time. At the same time, he suggests staying open to and discussing any particular desires you might have.
Mike:
-thinking about what kind of fantasy do I have, and I want to be open minded to that fantasy becoming a reality in this particular setting.
You’ve talked out: what are you open to this evening? Are you open to playing with other people? Are you open to helping me fulfill this particular fantasy? Do you have a particular fantasy that you would like to fulfill if it’s possible and just being able to support each other and have sort of like a roadmap of where you would like the evening to go.
August (narration):
Lisa shared similar advice, with a focus on you being in the driver’s seat for your own experience.
Lisa:
Know that it’s okay to not engage at all. If you want to just be out on the lawn by the jacuzzi, dipping your feet and sipping on a cocktail or some wine then, more power to you, if you just want to enjoy the conversation with people.
And then you get to decide your level of comfort, if you want to go inside to engage or watch. Just allowing yourself to push yourself out of your comfort zone, at your own pace, is what I would recommend and suggest.
A lot of hesitation that both Mike and I have heard was like, “Oh, I’m not ready or I’m very shy. And that’s a bit much for me.” And it was definitely a bit much for me, a soft spoken lady. [chuckles]
I feel like society tells us that we can’t be those sexual beings and stuff like that. So maybe like that’s kind of what’s holding some people back is this shame-based feeling.
But yeah, you just kind of sometimes got to rip the band aid off and push yourself a little bit and get your toes wet in that environment. But you are the driver and you get to decide how much or how little you want to engage.
[acoustic chord riff]
August (narration):
Both Mike and Lisa emphasized how low-pressure the party was, and how pleased they were with how respectful everyone was around communication and consent. And there was nothing remotely seedy about the experience. They felt safe enough to let loose and have a great time.
To learn more about the club they partied at in Los Angeles, visit bocanergraclub.com.
Okay, so what if you’re feeling curious or adventurous, but parties aren’t your thing? In general or because of COVID. Enter Erotic Recess, a practice a group of women from around the world have participated in for self-discovery, acceptance and plentiful orgasms. [person moaning]
Ryn Pfeiffer has been writing about sex and relationships for the past 23 years, for everyone from Playboy to Washington Post to Men’s Health. And she’s continually pushing the narrative that pleasure is our right. It’s at the core of everything she does, including sex work, which she added to the mix over the past two years.
Several years ago, she worked with the late Betty Dodson, who’s famously known as the “mother of masturbation.” Ryn was living in Seattle at the time, and she flew to New York City to join a group of 12 women in Betty’s apartment for a two-day workshop called Bodysex. Betty ran these workshops for over 25 years.
According to her book, Bodysex Basics, co-written with her business partner, Carlin Ross, the workshops grew out of the consciousness raising groups started by feminists in the 1970s. The groups focused on overcoming poor body image and anxiety around sexual pleasure. And attendees participate completely naked.
Ryn attended as a journalist, and went in thinking she knew a lot about her body and pleasure and orgasms. And she walked out with her mind blown. To give you an idea of the activities, which you’ll hear more about in a bit here, she witnessed a woman in her 40s experience her very first orgasm.
Little did Ryn know going in that these women, and the practice of masturbating in tandem, would become profoundly meaningful in her life, and end up helping her through the pandemic.
It stemmed from an annual trip, centered around Betty’s birthday.
Ryn:
Every summer for the past few summers before the pandemic, a group of about 40 women and I would get together and go to upstate New York for Betty. And it was at a Dalai Lama retreat camp.
August (narration):
Upon arrival, they’d be told by the staff, “We don’t have any meat or alcohol or drugs.” To which the women would reply:
Ryn:
We’re like, “We need meat on the menu. We’re bringing drugs. There’s alcohol.” We kind of all went off the rails and like the very best of ways. And they loved our group so much. They were like, “We love it when you come back, you’re the best group that’s been here.” And I’m like, “Yes, because we’re all just having orgasms all day long for a week. Like, of course, we’re nice.” [laughs]
August (narration):
Yes, the bodysex activities continued.
Ryn called the trips a really beautiful bonding experience. A few years in, though, the pandemic hit and they realized there would be no in-person circles, not in Betty’s apartment or the retreat camp. Around the same time, 90-year-old Betty’s health started to fail; she knew she was nearing the end of her life.
Ryn:
Really, like the first few weeks of the pandemic, we all hopped on a Zoom call together just to check in and see how everyone was doing.
August (narration):
Twenty-some women from 9 different countries joined the call.
Ryn:
And what started as just a check in to make sure everyone was okay turned into, why don’t we do Erotic Recess every week? It’s basically like a masturbation recess for consenting adults.
In the past, it was in person. And we thought, hey, we could do this over Zoom. And so every Sunday, since the beginning of the pandemic… I think we’re probably like the hottest thing going on, on Zoom, because it’s just a group of women from all over the world. They call in from their bathtub, or their living room, or some people have had to call in from their cars, because the kids are awake.
And so everybody just calls in from wherever and shares as much or as little as they would like. But it’s just been this incredibly bonding thing to have, during this time when there has been so much uncertainty.
August (narration):
Ryn said the world can go off the rails Monday through Saturday, but she knows she has that one hour on Sundays, where [she] gets to bond with people an intimate, vulnerable way.
It plays out like this:
Ryn:
A few days before Erotic Recess happens, the Zoom link goes out. So of course, I get that and I get giddy about it because I know that it really is the most exciting thing on the calendar all week.
August (narration):
Then when Sunday arrives, she has a leisurely morning, turns off her devices and creates her intentional space for the hour.
Rae:
And so what that looks like for me is I will light a candle, I will pick out which sex toys that I want to use that day and sometimes it’s you know, old faithfuls like a wand and you know, a glass dildo and … I usually pick about five favorites. And I usually set it up in my living room on my coffee table.
August (narration):
Along with a towel, tissues, a good lube and something to drink – usually water or a cup of tea.
Ryn:
This past Sunday was the one-year anniversary of Betty’s death. So everyone pretty much had a glass of champagne during erotic recess because that was her favorite.
I usually take a photo of myself beforehand to show what I look like before I’ve had multiple orgasms because I really think it’s important to show what real pleasure looks like and I celebrate that.
August (narration):
She also celebrates by sharing her before and after photos on social media.
Depending on her mood, she might wear a robe or sexy lingerie.
Rae:
Everybody kind of brings something, meat to the table, like there’s one woman who shows up every week in some manner of rope harness, and it’s so beautiful. And everybody kind of just shows up where they’re at and what they’re feeling that day.
August (narration):
Then, when it’s time to start-
Ryn:
We all log on to the call, people kind of come and go, because people are calling in from so many different time zones. You know, there’s somebody calling in from Israel, and it’s 11pm their time. I kind of feel like I lucked out being on the west coast because it’s the middle of my day.
August (narration):
For about 15 minutes, they all check in with each other: How have you been? What’s going on with your week?
Ryn:
Carlin leads the group, and at that point, people, if you’re clothed, tend to take off your shirts, or tops or bras or whatever you’re wearing and get undressed.
The beautiful thing about it is, it’s really, if you don’t want to have your video on, that’s fine. If you don’t want to have your audio on, that’s fine. It’s just, show up however you’re feeling.
So if you feel like having the Zoom camera right on your vulva, that’s great. If you want to be shadowy under your sheets, that’s okay, too. There’s no pressure to be performative in any way. It’s just kind of like, hey, just do what feels good for you.
We do that. And then at that point, we do some breathing exercises, we do a thing called the Breath of Fire, which is one of Betty’s things that she was really into. And it’s basically you sit straight up and you do these very short, hard breaths out of your nose. It’s almost like snorting in a way. It kind of invigorates your system.
And then we do a thing just running through our chakras with a vibe or your hand and it’s everything from your root chakra up to your head and back down. And it’s very intentional and slow to kind of just get you centered in your body.
And then after that, Carlin’s just like, “Alright, everybody, it’s Erotic Recess. Go!” At that point, people just use whatever toy they’re feeling like some people sit and watch for a little bit. It’s really whatever feels good for you in that moment.
It’s really magical to be a part of that and to see – I’m amazed. Like, I’ve been coming with these women for almost two years now every week. I can close my eyes and tell you exactly who’s having an orgasm at any moment, just by their sounds. And that is one of the most beautiful ways to know your friends, you know? [laughs]
[encouraging, acoustic music]
Ryn:
What’s been interesting for me is because we very much “hype girl” each other on. I hate that word, but it’s true. We’re cheering each other on… Like if one person is getting close to orgasm, right, we’re like “Come on, you can do it! You’re so close. That looks so beautiful… That was so gorgeous. Your feet came off the bed. That looks great.”
We’re just like rooting on each other’s orgasms. But for me, hearing how other people experience pleasure has encouraged me to try other things where people are like, “Hey, you know what? This week, I’ve been really into touching my perineum and using this toy in my butt” And so I’m like, oh, yeah, let me try that.
And so it feels like a very safe place for me to try new things with myself without judgment. It’s kind of like this pleasure think tank, in almost some ways. Yes, we’re all enjoying each other, and it’s super hot. But we’re all bouncing ideas off each other where…talking about sexual experiences we’ve had during the week, or you know, like, “Hey, I was masturbating. And this new thing came up for me. Has anyone else had this?”
August:
You mentioned that this takes courage for people, and that you applaud anyone new who’s joined in. What about for people who aren’t interested in group masturbation and would still like to benefit from something similar on their own? It seems like the ritual piece is really big.
Ryn:
It is the ritual case, you’re so right. And I feel like it could be replicated in the solo capacity. It’s really pretty simple, actually. It’s really just dedicating some time for yourself and with yourself without any pressure. I mean, yes, orgasms are very nice and all, but at the end of the day, it’s really about setting some time aside for yourself. It’s just really having that intentional time with yourself and your body and whatever feels good.
Anybody could say, “Hey, I’m going to set aside an hour, I’m going to create an intentional space”, whatever that looks like for them. It could be music, it could be your favorite pajamas, it could be candles…whatever that is that makes you feel cozy and cared for, you can create that space.
Especially as women were so go, go, go, go go, that to take time to just indulge in our pleasure is just not something a lot of people do. And it’s so important. So if you take that time, and say, I’m going to spend 45 minutes touching myself, even without the end goal of orgasm, just to feel good… A vulva massage feels really good. Touching your breasts feels really good. There’s so many things that you can do to connect with yourself. And I think that’s the most important takeaway from that. And I think anybody can do that.
[encouraging, acoustic music]
August (narration):
Everyone I have talked to who ever met Betty Dodson, the “mother of masturbation” who created Erotic Recess, glows when speaking about her. Betty really left an impression on everyone who crossed her path. Ryn is no exception.
Ryn:
Betty was unbelievable. Just such a powerful force of a human being in such a tiny human. And she spoke her mind and gave us zero fucks about anything and she didn’t sugarcoat anything. And I love that about her. She just told it to you straight.
The first time I met her at Bodysex, there’s a part of it that is called Genital Show and Tell and you sit down. She’s got her arm around you. And there’s a mirror between your legs and a light and she’s basically describing your vulva, your pubic hair and what it looks like in the color and the shape and all this. And I sat down and I was like rockin’ full bush at the time.”
August (narration):
Betty took one look and said-
Ryn:
“If that thing could have teeth, it would bite. It’s so feral and it’s so fierce.”
August (narration):
Ryn just busted out laughing.
Ryn:
I just remember sitting in that circle later that day and making eye contact with her as I masturbating on all fours and her making eye contact and just going, “That is so fucking hot.”
She just said her mind and just lived life. I loved that about her. If she wanted to drink champagne in the afternoon, she drank champagne in the afternoon. She just did her own thing.
August (narration):
After Betty passed away, on Halloween of 2020, Ryn was gifted some of her jewelry: wrist cuffs Ryn described as “Wonder Woman-esque” and a choker Betty wore to all the queer bars in Manhattan back in the ‘80s.
Ryn:
So when I was in New York City in June at a sex club, I wore that channeling Betty and I felt powerful. I was like, she’s right here with me.
She really just pushed the envelope At every turn where people were like, “No, we don’t want to hear women talk about pleasure.” And she was like, “Yes, we are going to liberate orgasms and pleasure.” And I just have so much respect that she did not give up and did not back down to all the naysayers, because there were a lot of people that did not want to hear what she had to say.
August (narration):
And thanks to her legacy and people like Ryn, Betty’s business partner Carlin and everyone who continues to celebrate her work, that envelope-pushing continues. The Erotic Recess practices alone keep on making waves, and impacting people who participate or hear about them.
In Ryn’s case, she’s learned a lot about intimacy and connection.
Ryn:
It’s knowing people on this just whole other level of intimacy that I don’t know my other friends on. It’s stretched my imagination of what bonds can be, and, you know, platonic bonds. I’m polyamorous. So there’s a lot of different people in my life. That’s, you know, the definitions of how they fit into my life are all over the map. This redefined what some friendships and contacts can look like to you. And so that’s been really important to me.
And then also, it’s just really deepened my connection to my own body, just setting aside this time every week. I remember driving cross country last September, and stopping in gas stations across the country during the trip. And I’m like, Okay, I can’t be like, creepy in the car masturbating. But I’m also not going to miss this this week. So how do I set up the car visor and set this up and I’m on the down low. And so it’s really just been this. It’s been this thing that has kept me afloat in so many ways.
I mean, I know we’re still in the pandemic, but it’s something that I think we all thought would stop at some point. And we’re like, no, this is important. And let’s keep doing it. And even though we all have very busy lives, everyone is still prioritizing this time with one another and their pleasure. And that is so, so amazing to me.
[acoustic chord riff]
August (narration):
You can learn more about Ryn and her work by following her on Instagram at @ryn_says. You can also work with her and talk all things sex, queerness, kink and polyamory, through SextPanther at sextpanther.com/ryn.
[guitar strum]
If you’d like to plan your own at-home erotic recess of sorts, head to thepleasurechest.com to stock up on sensual goodies, from lube and toys to massage candles and a velvety throw by Fascinator to play on. Right now, The Pleasure Chest is celebrating Men’s Health Awareness Month with a featured collection of prostate-pleasing toys, for you or a partner. To check it out, head to thepleasurechest.com or click the link down in the show notes.
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We’ll wrap up today with sex and relationship therapist Dr. Megan Fleming’s Pleasure Picks for November.
[Read about her picks and learn more at greatlifegreatsex.com/pleasurepicks or stream the full episode on your favorite podcast app!]
Thanks so much, Dr. Megan. I love those ideas.
If you’re enjoying Girl Boner Radio, please make sure you’ve hit the “follow” button on your favorite podcast app to never miss a beat. You can also show support with a rating and review.
To find out what listeners who completed my sexual desires and curiosities surveys think of sex parties and more, join my community at patreon.com/girlboner. For safer sex tips in the age of COVID, click here.
Lastly, I will not be releasing an episode next week, which makes it a great time for you to catch up on any episodes you’ve missed. More importantly, have a meaningful holiday weekend, at least here in the U.S., no matter how you spend it.
Thanks so much for listening and keep embracing those Girl Boners.
[…] Then there was Ryn Pfeiffer: […]