365 Days of Orgasms: Annette Benedetti

“365 Days of Orgasms: Annette Benedetti”

a Girl Boner podcast transcript

Annette:  The energy of the orgasm, it like came up through my stomach and into my chest.  As I exhaled it kind of came out my mouth, just this grief… Suddenly, like in front of me. It wasn’t just him. But everything else… The pain and the grief and the loss, and living so much of my life without access to my own pleasure and feeling ashamed of the thoughts that I had and the things that I wanted desperately wanted.

August/narration:

Annette Benedetti told me she grew up as the “quintessential Catholic school girl.

Annette: Like I’m such a cliche that way.

August/narration:

Around the sixth grade, she learned something about sex that would bother her for years.

Annette:  One of the things that really stands out is being told that it would be very normal if I never orgasmed during sex. That not all women orgasmed during sex and that I may only ever be able to orgasm from clitoral external.

At that time, the internal clitoris wasn’t even a thing. But that it was very normal not to feel any internal pleasure. When my mother talked to me about it, that was what she told me.

And I know that it wasn’t just her. I mean, it’s not like in my youth I went around talking to a lot of people about sex. That was not acceptable at all.

August/narration:

Still, she was super curious about sex.

Annette:  …from a very young age, even before I really understood what sex was. I was always, I would say a very sort of sensual person., And I was very curious about intimacy that I would see on TV and what it meant and wanted to experience that thing. Then to find out when I started having sex that, oh, but it will be normal if you never have an orgasm was like, dang, this has been misrepresented in the media and on TV.

August/narration:

Her sex ed class at school wasn’t any more helpful.

Annette: They didn’t even talk about the female orgasm in class. That wasn’t a thing. We were there to have sex, to have babies. It was all reproductive and not pleasure. I mean, we talked about boys, men orgasming.

August/narration:

All of that impacted Annette’s sexual self-discovery journey.

August: So you went on to not experience orgasms during sex. Do you think that, that there’s a correlation there? Did you just think, oh, well that’s what I was told would happen? Or were you frustrated? What was it like in your early sexual experiences?

Annette: Well, it’s a little complicated trying to figure out where my inability to orgasm came from. I also experienced a, sexual assault and rape at the age of 13, 13 to 14. And so there was a lot of trauma around that. So the lack of being able to orgasm is a combination of trauma, probably education, shame.

I was Catholic. But there’s a lot of shame around being your full sexual self, right? And being this embodied sexual being. That’s not something I was ever taught about. It was something I naturally was, and that, of course, drew a lot of disapproval and shame. The way in which I would act and the things I would start to talk about openly would be shut down.

So the combination of shame, sexual trauma, bad, bad, bad sexual education, I mean that kind of set up the perfect storm for not being orgasmic during sex.

So where I learned to derive pleasure from was the reaction I would get from my partner, the powerful feeling I could have during sex through performative sex.

August/narration:

Even though she wasn’t experiencing orgasms through sex, she said she enjoyed “energetic sexual power.”

Annette: But I couldn’t have the actual physical experience of what it would be like to have the orgasm myself and that kind of pleasure myself.

August/narration:

Meanwhile, into her early 20s, Annette realized a “very sexual person.”

Annette: And I was also not straight. I liked women. I was very turned on by women, men. But I didn’t know how to explore it in the open. So it was very secretive.

I was very exploratory. I had a lot of sex. I had a lot of lovers. I tried a lot of things, but definitely felt like it had to be secretive. With men I wasn’t orgasming, but I did enjoy the attention. I enjoyed the seduction of it all. I had a lot of really bad sex.

August/narration:

Within a few years, she decided not to settle for that.

Annette: I was unwilling to have sex in which I didn’t have an orgasm. I was over it. I was like, okay. I’m done with this.

By my late twenties, I had one child, so at that point I had learned, of course, to give myself an orgasm during sex by external clitoral orgasm.

And it would definitely frustrate my partners because they were like, “Can’t you have an orgasm without touching yourself? Like, what? Am I not good enough to just do it with my dick?” I definitely had times where I would just get frustrated and and be like, this is what I need to have happen.

August/narration:

She also got really good at faking orgasms.

Annette: …just to avoid the conflict. The biggest thing I didn’t want to experience post sex if I didn’t have an orgasm was like having to reassure my partner for days afterwards that they were good in bed.

“But you didn’t have an orgasm …” “No, I didn’t, but I still enjoyed it. We still had fun. It was still play.” I was still seriously undereducated though.

August/narration:

In her 30s, Annette was raising her daughter with her then husband.

Annette: He is a wonderful guy. He’s still one of my very best friends. We are no longer together. We were sexual mismatches, but really good friends. But then I’ve really lost myself. I lost the sensual personality, that part of me was extinguished between what I thought the expectations were of me as a mother, what that was supposed to look like, which mother and sex, oddly enough, don’t go hand in hand, right?

Then just being in a, a marriage, an intimate relationship, that was a mismatch. Also, I didn’t know how to have good orgasm. So then it was like, why do I even wanna do this? So I started focusing on other areas of my life, my career, my kids health and fitness, anything else. Because there was this big void in my life, that natural sensual being that I had always been, was just gone.

And it’s funny because I can go back and look at pictures of myself andd I can see that stripped down version of me. The difference just looking at those photos, right from who I am now. If you saw pictures of me then and now, it’s a totally different person,

August: Wow. What looks different? Is it like the light in your eyes or…?

Annette: I don’t know how to explain it. I think you do see just in the way I wear my hair, uh, like the glow, the light in my eyes. It’s just, it’s vacant. And there is much more like maybe what the quintessential boss babe look.

August/narration:

By her early 40s, Annette’s marriage had essentially ended.

Annette: So my, I will now refer to him as my parenting partner, had separated officially, and were exploring what life was gonna look like. I wanted to get back to who I was. I knew I had traveled far, far from the best parts of myself, the juiciest parts of myself.

I got on the dating apps. I don’t even know how many hundreds of dates I went on.

My sex drive was gone, and that worried me. So I started, I went down the porn rabbit hole. I’m not gonna lie, I started watching all kinds of porn. And the first kind of porn that really caught my eye was like spanking porn. I wanted to be turned over somebody’s knee and spanked.

August: Had you been spanked before?

Annette: Not, I mean, I’d had my ass slapped here and there. You know, one of those disappointing slaps where you’re like, oh, you get excited, and you’re like, oh, that’s, that’s all that’s gonna happen, right? I don’t get my 50 shades of gray moment here, do I?

August: She’s like, it’s beige. Like 20 shades of beige.

August/narration:

Makes sense, given that Annette didn’t know how to ask for what she wanted.

Annette: But I wanted to explore this fantasy I knew that I had. And I didn’t know how to explore it. So I started by like watching spanking porn and was it. Like I wanted to see all the ways it could be done. And then I realized, oh, this is something I wanna pursue and experience.

So in my dating life, I was kinda looking for people that would maybe put a little daddy joke in there, which was also another sort of exploration I had to go to. I definitely wanted to call someone daddy, but I was so conflicted as a mother. Like, what? Gross.

Because I don’t want anyone calling me mommy. And I know that’s a thing. I’m not trying to yuck your yum, but ugh, it’s a yuck for me. So I started looking for people who gave indication that they weren’t vanilla, even though I had very limited experience in what it would mean to not be vanilla.

So a lot of dating, lot of masturbating, learning to edge. I would masturbate sometimes and edge myself in the middle of the day when nobody was home for a good 45 minutes or an hour or more.

I started going out on dates and exploring that way. And that’s when my spark started to come back. And I started to like do things that would make me feel sexier as a mom. I had underwear that I had had for, it’s embarrassing to say how long, but I had stretched out gross underwear. So I started exploring lingerie.

August/narration:

Then she started meeting gentlemen online for some virtual domming.

Annette: One guy would send me things to like wear and give me as sexy assignments to do to myself. Take little videos that I’d send or, he sent me a butt plug to wear and he’d text me and say, wear this for the next whatever hour. That started to kind of wake up, oh, there’s a whole sexual world outside of here that I have not explored.

The more dates I went on, the more sex I started having. I started having just sex. Like I’m out on a date. I’m like, this person’s okay, but I’m not really into them, but I’m horny tonight. I think I’ll give it a try. So exploration opened up. I still wasn’t having the kind of orgasms that I kept hearing everybody else was having. but that started to unlock that door.

August/narration:

Annette had a freelance editorial career at the time, a successful one, and she decided to merge that with her spicy exploration.

Annette: First I started a website about women’s sexual exploration called She Explores Life. And I had some girlfriends that were helping me write articles about it. It was during Trump’s first run for president and he got caught saying, “Grab him by the pussy.” Everyone was like, “It’s just locker room talk.” And I was like, why can’t women talk about sex this way? If we got caught talking about sex the way we do behind closed doors, it would ruin our lives.

And then I was sassy about it. I’m like, I’m gonna start a podcast. Or me and my girlfriends talk about the sex we’re having, openly and, and owning what we want in bed. And so I launched, or my podcast, and originally it was called Locker Room Talk and Shots. And it was me and my girlfriends drinking cocktails and talking about sex.

August/narration:

Today, Annette’s podcast is called Talk Sex with Annette.

Annette: There was something about finally being able to talk openly about sex. That like opened the floodgates for me. And it made me feel brave and brave enough to look for the kinds of lovers I wanted. So I started looking for I’m like, I want a daddy. I wanna be tied up. I wanna explore kinky, kinky sex. So that’s what I set out to do.

I had my first kind of interesting spanking full on BDSM experience. It was a one-time thing with a man who had a whole dungeon in his house. I got my hands chained up above my head and my ankles locked. He had a spanking bench. I experienced all sorts of like impact play. He had latex sheets on his bed.

I didn’t have an orgasm, but I experienced what I would call an energetic orgasm. And I realized that that really had been something I had been having all along, like energetic, orgasmic experiences.

August/narration:

Then Annette met a man we’ll call Chad. They met online and she missed their first date – it was 2020 and she’d gotten really sick with COVID. A year later, once lockdowns had lifted and many folks were dating in-person again, she matched with Chad again on a dating app.

Annette: One of the reasons I was interested in Chad was that he was into BDSM. So I agreed to a date. And I am gonna be honest with you, I wasn’t super impressed on the date.

However, I was so fucking horny. So on the ride home I was like, “Hey, you wanna pull over?” And he went down on me and I had an orgasm. I’m like, you know, maybe I’ll see this guy again.

He was leaving for Hawaii. He was gonna be gone for a while. Time went on. But we did get back together with the sole idea of, we’re gonna go to hotel room, and we’re gonna have some BDSM sex.

And I was still very unsure about him when I saw him at first and we got together. But then we went to the bedroom and we had just a really good time. He brought a bag full of equipment, which was great. Like having the man bring the toys was a real nice switch. Chad had a nice array of toys tied me up.

It was like, alright. I think we can keep trying this thing. That turned into a relationship, a pretty hot relationship. I found out that he lived two hours away, which was a bummer. But what ended up happening was we only saw each other a couple times a month, and it was always in a hotel setting, and it was always with lots of toys, with hours of fucking, in all kinds of way being tied up anal sex, like a toy in me, him in me. Everything you could imagine.

I think it was the first time I just felt like I can explore whatever I want in the kinky realm with this person.

Simultaneously, I’m doing this podcast where I’m talking about sex all of the time, and I’m getting more and more bold about it. So it was sort of like by accident I was unlocking routes to pleasure that hadn’t existed for me before.

August/narration:

Her shame was dissipating because she was talking about sex publicly, and with no negative consequences. That’s not the case for everyone who opens up in that way, but it’s such a gift when it happens.

Annette: If anything, I was seeing like life open up to me, right?

Simultaneously I’m trying some of these adventures, taboo things in bed that I hadn’t been able to do before and I was finding new things, new turn-ons in kinky ways. And I was like, God damn, I’m a sex goddess.

August/narration:

Then, New Year’s Eve arrived. [party music] Annette had no idea that that night wouldn’t just turn the calendar year but inspire a decision that would change her life. That night, after some fun partying with Chad at a sex club, Annette committed to having 365 days of orgasms.

Annette: …meaning having one orgasm every day for the next year.

My decision was an alcohol and sex fuel decision. I was riding the high of orgasms. Again, I was primarily, external orgasms, but, you know, energetic orgasms, kinky sex, watching people fuck… I had had sort of like an evening of, of seeing people do crazy things to each other in public setting. Then had sex with him.

And before I was sober enough and, had come down enough from my orgasmic high, I decided to tell the whole world via social media that I was going to have one orgasm every day for the next year to hold myself accountable.

There I was on a very public platform making this big commitment. Not at all thinking about the fact that I would be alone for a lot of that. I didn’t have a partner there to give me orgasms. I do a lot of sex toy reviews, so I had a lot of toys to use. I have a lot of toys. I got all kinds of toys. I mean, I was maybe a little bit in my ego thinking I got this covered.

August/narration:

As it would turn out, it wasn’t exactly that breezy. Especially at first.

Annette: So the first couple of days, you know, I was having orgasms pretty quickly, but within a week or two, it was taking me like 45 minutes to orgasm.

August/narration:

She said it was like she had a nagging, sex-hungry partner.

Annette: “Okay, when are we gonna do it today? We gotta do it today. You promised you’re gonna do it today.” And it was miserable. I was like, how am I gonna do this all year long? so I realized really quickly that wasn’t gonna work. So I had to start getting experimental. I realized I was also at my own worst lay.

Now picture this. You’re laying in bed, you’re fully covered up, you got your hand on your clit, and you’re just rubbing, rubbing, rubbing as fast as you can. You’re clenched, you’re holding your breath and you’re like, come on, orgasm. Like that is bad sex. I’m like, I hate having sex with myself.

August/narration:

She knew she had to change things up.

Annette: I thought, okay, I’m gonna try not to hold my breath. I started adding sound to it. I started eeking the fingers inside and then getting like toys that added internal vibration.

August/narration:

Eventually, within a few months, that kind of exploration helped Annette find her G-spot. In case you’re not totally clear on what that is, it’s a super erogenous zone that involves the internal part of the clitoris.

Annette: Key to finding my G-spot was finding a toy that could do external pleasure and internal g-spot pleasure at the same time. and that was when I felt the spice, I was like, Ooh!

I had thought the G-spot was farther in, but for me it’s like, right inside my vaginal opening. And when it wakes up, it starts as this kind of like heat. It feels like a little bit of a heated tingle. And once I could do that repeatedly, then I could start accessing it and playing with it, right? And using my fingers or my toys to play with. Ironically, when I have sex with a woman, I do this naturally with women, but I wasn’t able to find it on myself. Like I can find a G-spot on another vulva.

For some reason, I wasn’t doing that with myself. I think I just believed I didn’t have the ability. I think I had just really internalized that. But then I found her. Like pretty soon I was like, Ooh, you know, the external clit orgasms, they’re okay, but you add in that G spot, holy shit.

August/narration:

She didn’t want that feeling to end. It also led to more desires.

Annette: As the G-spot would light up, like my body would desire deeper penetration, like okay, I kind of wanna be pounded a little, right?

That led to me pushing things deeper inside, and then I found my A-spot. Which is deeper inside.

August/narration:

Another erogenous zone, between the cervix and bladder.

Annette: For me, it’s harder to have an orgasm from the A-spot, but when the, A-spot lights up and gets me off now that, that’s gonna be a soul soulful orgasm. Right? It rocks the whole body.

August/narration:

So it was a year full of challenges, but it also taught Annette a ton about pleasure, her body, and her life.

Annette: That was the most life changing thing I’ve probably ever done. Not only did I, during this process, unlock my G spot and my, A-spot and learned to have blended orgasms and multiple orgasms.

I know how to make myself orgasm for, 20, 30 minutes and onward rolling orgasms, all of the different types of orgasms. I also learned how to use orgasmic energy, sexual energy, sensual energy to heal, and there was a lot of healing to be done.

And how to infuse every aspect of my life with the power that comes from being able to take your sexual energy and infuse it into every aspect of your daily life. It’s a game changer.

August/narration:

Annette’s commitment to daily orgasms was so strong, that she never took a day off.

August: So on days when you weren’t feeling it, you had to make yourself feel it.

Annette: Through COVID! That was the worst. orgasms when you’re sick are not fun and, and they don’t feel the best. And that is not something I will do in the future. It was the one time that I was like, I don’t think this is an improvement. This feels gross. I don’t love the way that feels.

But I did have to within, I wanna say it was two or three months down the road, I went through a breakup. And it was really devastating.

August/narration:

Yes, she and Chad broke up. As Annette was going through the heartache and loss of that relationship, she said the last thing she wanted was sex, alone or with a partner. She was in mourning.

Annette: But that was a key experience for me because I knew I had to, I was like, I’m not gonna let this fucking man derail my commitment. and I remember the first time I masturbated, once I had finally realized like, this relationship is done and I masturbated into the orgasm I could feel the orgasm roll over me, and so much fucking grief came with it.

The energy of the orgasm, it like came up through my stomach and into my chest. As I exhaled it kind of came out my mouth, just this grief.

I was using a toy, so the toy was clamped on me. It was still going as I was like sobbing through this, this rolling orgasm. Suddenly, like in front of me. It wasn’t just him, But everything else. My sexual trauma came out. The damage and the loss that had been done to me through my younger years and all of that lost time. All of the terrible things I had said to myself or thought about myself or had been said to me over time, the trauma of childbirth, just all of it. The pain and the grief and the loss, and living so much of my life without access to my own pleasure and feeling ashamed of the thoughts that I had and the things that I wanted desperately wanted.

All of the time I had lived a life that was smaller than who I am. That grief was like in front of me. I didn’t even know it was there. I’d been living this life, “Well, I went to therapy. That’s healed. I’m fine” And I was not fine. I was not fucking fine. I have not been fine. And it was so interesting to me that combining like orgasming during grief and allowing that like not trying to stop it, not clenching it, letting it come up and out and through me really let me kind of look at myself.

The grieving part of me was standing in front of me and I had to look at it and embrace it and say, “I fucking love you. Let’s do this. Let’s keep doing this.”

August/narration:

Some other surprises unfolded, too. 

Annette:

Now, I got back together with Chad. Oops. So the nice thing is that then he and I got to experiment with that.

I’m not gonna lie. He was very good at — he was a pleasure giver. So, he experimented a lot with me on that, and he was able to find the G-spot and give me that kind of pleasure. And then I was able to learn how to like, have G-spot blended orgasms while having penetrative sex.

But it really took me exploring my own body and getting to know my own pussy and loving it. Like, I love my pussy. I think it’s really pretty. I like touching it. I like the way she smells. I think she’s beautiful.

I know a lot of women are afraid to touch themselves, are afraid of their scent. Or maybe it’s not fear, but there’s some disgust around it because we’ve been taught that it’s disgusting. And this journey really changed all of that for me.

Ultimately, what I really learned from the 365 days, was just how to access, pleasure and have it any time I wanted to. And what that means doing is learning how to listen to your pussy like she speaks to you all day long. And mine has gotten very loud and demanding.

What I do to keep my libido stoked is I’m very fortunate I get to work from home, but I did used to go to a job. If I’m sitting on the couch and I’m working and suddenly I can feel her purring down there, she’s like, Hey, hey, how about a nooner?

August: ‘You gave me a whole year before. Come on.’ 

Annette: Right? I have a sex toy in my bathroom. I have one in my bedroom. I have them very accessible. I will go in and I will bang one out for her. I always try to listen to her. I try to listen to what she wants too, as far as like, do you want internal stimulation or not? Especially as someone who has experienced sexual assault, if there’s part of me that like, like it just hurts, like I try to use a toy to enter myself and it feels yucky, I always back out and I listen to what my body is telling me. And I think that was key is learning to really listen to my body, my vulva and my vagina.

August/narration:

She had to learn to trust her body again.

Annette: The way it learned to trust me was by accident. I didn’t know what I was doing, but by me learning to listen to it and to only enter it when it was like I felt the call, you know?

August/narration:

And, like most good things, her 365 days of orgasms came to an end.

August: How did it wind down? Did you have like a special orgasm celebration at the end? You remember you’re last one. There must have been kind of a countdown for you. You’re like, wow, I’m on 360.

Annette: You would think So. I was still in the relationship with Chad and we did go to the sex club that evening. It was kind of our like, new Year’s Eve celebration. and we had great sex.

I remember him asking me if I would ever do another 365 days. And I think I was like, I don’t know if I could do that again. I definitely wouldn’t masturbate through being sick again. It’s the one thing where I’m like, I don’t recommend it.

It was hard to masturbate when I had people visiting. I was like, alright, I’m gonna have to go in the bathroom and be quiet, for an hour. I do think regular masturbation, even if you have a partner, having sex with yourself and being your own best lover is important. For me, that’s key. Even if I’m with someone, I wanna have time to have sex with myself and be with myself. Where I can think about whatever I want to, and there’s not another person to consider, it’s just me. It’s, my own special time.

I think that that’s what for me, 365 days of orgasms, I learned a lot. The big lessons on the things I learned from my own life. But what it really did for me is it prioritized my journey and my relationship with pleasure and that part of my life.

We spend so much money trying to travel to new locations around the world and experience new places, but right here within our own bodies and in our own homes and within our relationships, there’s so much exploration and adventure that exists and that can bring you, better mental health, better physical health, better spiritual health. and there’s so many things I still wanna experience sexually.

August/narration:

Once the year ended, she kept exploring – just not on a daily orgasm schedule.

Annette: There are so many great experiences to be had, there’s, endless opportunities. I tried foot sex, you know? The whole foot fetish thing.

August/narration:

And this didn’t just involve looking at or admiring feet, if you know what I mean.

August: Did you like it?

Annette: Well, the first time I was like, it was, felt very clinical to me. I was like, It takes a lot of thigh work ’cause you gotta hold your feet together to cup it around the cock. Well, they hump the little arch of your foot. Fascinating, right? I felt like, oh, it’s kind of a nice little foot massage.

Not bad that way. And it’s fun to watch the other person in front of you, like getting off on it. It’s like, oh, it’s kind of fun. But then I had a second experience more recently with someone. I had told them about my first foot fucking experience. They had kind of tied me up and blindfolded me and were, you know, playing with me and took my feet while I was blindfolded unexpectedly, and wrapped them around his cock.

And I was like, oh. Oh….! At first it made me kind of smile ’cause I was like, oh, it’s the story I told you. And then I was like, that’s turning me on a little bit. So I always say try it twice, at least before you judge it

August/narration:

Her year of orgasms gave her lots of chances for that.

Annette: It gave me a lot of opportunity to keep trying things over and over again. come on, the first time I decided to make noise in bed with myself was just cringe. I was like, oh, okay. This is weird.

Now, I mean, you would think I have three people in there fucking me when I’m like, I make lots of noise. I talk dirty out loud, too.

August/narration:

Something she experimented with a lot.

Annette: Like saying the dirty thing instead of keeping it in my head, hearing it out loud. That helped a lot and that helped me with dirty talk in bad.

I’m really getting good at dirty talk in bed now, but it’s because you know, I practiced it with myself. You get experimental when you gotta fuck yourself for 365 days and then you get to take that to your next partner.

[Encouraging, acoustic music]

August/narration:

Annette primarily works with cisgender women, men, and couples, but I think the pleasure tips she shared can apply people folks of all genders and relationship styles.

August: For folks who are hearing this and they want to bring something to their, especially their self-pleasure life, because I feel like one thing you learned, it’s almost like you had this like masterclass in your own body and in self-pleasure.

What is one thing folks can do to bring more, adventure or fun, something different, when they’re just feeling a little bit of maybe disconnect or they don’t really know what they wanna try?

Annette: Well, I can tell you this. When I first told people that I was going to do 365 days of orgasms challenge, the most common response from women was, oh, that sounds like so much work.

And I think you gotta sit with that, right? Women need to prioritize their pleasure and to take the work mentality out of it, you know, be like, I deserve 15 minutes of pleasure today.

Take the idea that you even have to touch your genitals out of it. Sex with yourself can be laying in bed and just running your fingers over your skin. And a light sensual will a tickle your arms or your breast, or your stomach or your pelvic, mound, right? Expand how you look at pleasure, expand how you look at sex. That’s where I’d start. Now, if you’re a woman who has been healthily fucking yourself for a good amount of time and you’re getting bored with it, explore fantasy. You can do it through ethical porn.

You can do it through audio erotica. There are groups out there for everything. You can go to munches, look for meetups, like go hang out with some swingers. You don’t have to swing, but you can go and just like, check ’em out. Be like a fly on the wall, right?

If you’re curious about BDSM, you don’t ever have to do it. But there are gatherings where you can go and watch people do the things, all the things right? Go explore new options and ways to excite your, your body and pleasure your body.

For men, slow the fuck down. Right. Sure. You can go into the bathroom and whack off really quickly, but is that really pleasureful? It’s a kind of pleasure, but it’s not fulfilling. It’s not as fulfilling as slowing down and exploring your own body, and elongating the experience,

August/narration:

Also? It’s never too late to expand those experiences or explore.

Annette: I’m 51 now. This is the best time in my life. I feel sexier. I’m having more and better sex than I ever have. I am having incredible orgasms, like life changing orgasms on the regular I’m giving. Life changing orgasms regularly, right? I feel great in my body.

I’m single. I’m like getting asked out regularly. And I don’t feel like that was my experience in my youth because I was so unsure of everything.

August/narration:

Today, Annette is a sex and relationship coach.

Annette: The goal of my work is to let people know how much, how important pleasure is to their lives. And to learn that it is pleasure is your birthright. And you have a right to experience that in this life with yourself and with other people. in our society, for people of all gender, there has been so much shame put on sexual pleasure. It also creates disconnection from yourself. And who wants to spend their whole life disconnected from their own body.

My work aims to help people. Reconnect with pleasure, reconnect with each other, de-stigmatize and de-shame. I don’t think that’s a word, but whatever. Take shame out of sex and pleasure. That’s what I try to do. Educate through humor, through stories.

I think also people compartmentalize sex. Like it’s over here in this box. You take it out at night behind closed doors. And that’s one of the things I want people to understand is it’s, it’s not just, it’s something that should be in a box over here. It should be infused in your daily life. You have a right to experience pleasure every day,

August/narration:

Learn more about Annette Benedetti and her offerings at talksexwithannette.com.

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