“Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.” – Aristotle
Bourchercon is going on this weekend, and I’m not there. I’d be lying if I said that I was fine and dandy with that. It’s the first genre-specific conference I attended, after my brilliant friend Robert Ward demanded I go, and I’ve been in love ever since. I hadn’t yet started blogging (Wait… Life existed before then?!?), and where I learned the value of being submersed in a community who accepts, encourages and seems to truly get you.
My bit of blah has reminded me of my favorite perks of social media: friendships and community. From the time I started pursuing writing professionally until late 2011 B.B. (before blogging), I found myself in lonely slumps every so often. I was happy overall, mind you—more gratified by my creative and professional life than ever before. I still am. But even the most wondrous life events can’t fulfill us without cherished connectedness with others; I finally get that.
When those slumps occurred back then, writing seemed like necessary medicine and an escape. It was truthfully, at best, a temporary fix and a distraction. Everything benefits from connectedness with others, our work included. That’s where you all come in. While there’s no substitute for in-person mingling, I no longer have to wait months or more to feel a sense of community.
I’ve said it before, but it’s worth articulating again. I’m crazy grateful for the support, friendships and interaction social media provides. You all are a special breed of awesome! There have been countless times when I’ve felt a bit down or frustrated about one of life’s bumps and someone (likely one of you!) on the inter-web uplifted me—often without have a clue that they did so. Difficult happenings seem more tolerable when we share them. Good news morphs into magnificence. And those of us who spend a heck of a lot of time working solo can rest easy, knowing we’re part of something spectacular—a community of likeminded, like-hearted people who have our backs.
Sure, social media also brings challenges. We’re just as likely to run into heated debates and rudeness as we are in “real” life. Sometimes it’s worse, as people feeling somewhat anonymous may spout out nastiness they’d never say to your face. But as with the rest of the world, we can choose what we focus on, and whatever we choose grows. Add to that the fact that we tend to attract people with commonalities, and I’d say that the social media world is a pretty dang magical place.
On Monday, I noticed that I’d received my 10,000th blog comment. The person who posted it is special for numerous reasons. Though we’ve never met in person, I consider him a pal. He’s friendly and supportive, has a keen sense of humor and posted one of my most cherished comments to date a while back. I hope I’m not embarrassing him by sharing it, but I think you’ll see why I value it so much:
*reaches for tissues* See what I mean??? David also has a blog you should all check out if you haven’t, and a brand-spankin’ new release! I hope you’ll pop by his blog living room and say hello. You can also follow him on twitter: @davidnwalkertx.
And now…
LET’S PARTY!
To take the celebration further, I’d like to have a little link-share party. To participate, post one link you’d like to promote in the comments below. (More than one will send your comment to spam-land, and that’s no place to party.)
You have two options: Share a blog post of your own that made you laugh, smile or SQUEEEE!, due to the post itself or people’s comments. Or share a post you read that totally made your day—then let that person know you did so. Then stick around or pop back later to check out others’ links and keep the support and fun flowing!
Thanks again to ALL of you for the continual support! The fact that you take time out of your day to consider my thoughts and words then share your own means more than I can say. To the many more of you who don’t post comments or interact with me elsewhere, please know that you mean just as much! It’s many writers’ dream to have their words and stories not only in existence, but read. You are magic. ♥
I came across this post yesterday from a fellow blogger (Anne Squared) and loved it. She shares a short video clip about how to deal with first-world problems. It’s funny, but it also raises an excellent point. Well worth the 2-minute view. http://annesquared.wordpress.com/2013/09/19/less-than-2-minutes-can-teach-you-about-fwp/
Great idea, August!
LOL So glad you shared that, Carrie. You’re absolutely right — hilarious, yet insightful. Thanks so much for stopping by.
You’re so right about the connectedness, support, and sense of community that comes from blogging. I’ve met the most amazing people (like you!) and those people have picked me up and dusted me off on the bad days. Yes, we’ll rarely meet these people face to face, but that doesn’t mean the interactions we have with them are less real and genuine. I’m grateful for blogging and especially grateful for all those people who take the time to leave a comment on my blog or to email me.
Right back at you, Marcy! I couldn’t agree more. While it’s lovely to meet online friends in person, the relationships are just as real without. (Of course any chance to meet up with you would be priceless. :))
I’m right there with both of you! How much smaller and less fulfilling would my life be without my blogging and online friends? (Hint: LOTS.)
Especially when you’re undergoing life changes like moves, new babies, illness, caring for elderly parents…that connectedness is vital.
Keep blogging, August! And kudos to David for that comment. He’s a rockstar.
He so is, Jenny – as are you. We still must meet up at the Library Bar one of these days!
Although I write about some weird topics on “Swords, Specters, & Stuff,” one of my favorites is called “When Art Creates Life” and is about how I met my wonderful bride. Enjoy! http://mikesirota.wordpress.com//?s=When+Art+Creates+Life&search=Go
Have I mentioned how much I love the fact that you call her your bride? (Because duh, that’s what she’d been for years and years. :)) Great blog, groovy post!
LOVE your post Goddess August! Thank you for giving us a platform today to share the love. Today I’m sharing my love for Witty Woman Writing, Tammy Bleck. Her recent post, Sexy Is As Sexy Does is a brilliant look at dating, sex, relationships and the Midlife Gal. I especially love her question: “what makes a woman feel sexy, and what makes a man think that she is?” Here’s the link to her post: http://wittywomanwriting.com/sexy-is-as-sexy-does/
Much love and appreciation for YOU!
Ande
What a fabulous post, Ande! Thanks for introducing us all to Tammy, and for the of the important and ever uplifting work you do as well. Lots of love!
What a great idea. I feel the same way about the people I have met since I started blogging. One of the first ones I connected with writes a great blog called “The Brown Road Chronicles”. He will make you laugh out load & smile all the time. I wanted to share this post of his about the men that blog. (Not because he put me in it, but because I thought it was a great idea of a post & looks like he put alot of hard work in it). I love reading his work & figured you all might as well. Thanks again August for stopping by my little spot. Really makes me feel good when “real” writers like something I did. Here is the link to his post. http://brownroadchronicles.com/2013/08/22/the-men-of-wordpress-calendar/
You weren’t kidding! Great blog and post. (Ladies, there’s a man calendar awaiting you – and not of the objectifying variety! :)) Thanks for stopping by and partying with us. I look forward to reading more of your work.
I think everybody who loves language and the weird, resonating mystery of being alive and having lived should read Pinklightsabre’s Blog. Bill posts almost daily and his well-crafted slices of life always hit me, almost at a subconscious level, as only the best writing can. You could start pretty much anywhere but today’s is just fine (http://pinklightsabre.com/2013/09/20/carried-away/). It made me laugh and recognize myself in his experiences, as often happens. In fact, in keeping with your post, I would say that Bill and I have rapidly become and fast friends, chatting about life and music, carrying on conversations in the comments section — the other day, it wasn’t even on our own blogs! Blog friends: who knew?
I know exactly what you mean! I’ve developed dear friendships through blogging. Through writing, we connect on a deeper level, IMO, and a groovy one at that.
Thanks for stopping by and for sharing the terrific link! Laughter is great medicine, whether we feel the need or not.
August, I love how you rally your blog community, share your gratitude, and keep us all moving in a positive direction. I’m going to run with your theme and share one of my more popular blog posts where I attempt the same, because there can never be enough gratitude in the world, IMO. http://kristinnador.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/flower-bombs-and-other-gratitudes/
Keep sharing your unique positive perspectives – you rock!
I could say the very same about you, Kristin. Thanks for the sweet words and for sharing that love-filled post. I agree regarding gratitude. It’s so important, and easy to stray from amid our busy lives. And the busier and/or more down we feel, it’s that much more important. Stay well, lady! YOU rock!
Lovely post and comment from David. I know what it’s like when you really want to share something but your audience isn’t geared up for it. There are lots of ways to spread the word though, like Pinterest and #FFs. Christian following is probably not much different in in approriateness to kidlit audience
You’re so right, Catherine. I completely understand why some readers aren’t comfy commenting on or otherwise promoting sex-related stuff – which is partly why I keep writing it, IYKWIM! One thing I’ve also learned is that it’s important not to judge readers by assuming what they will or won’t write. It’s all about authenticity, IMO. Speaking of which, I sincerely love your blog! But you knew that. Happy weekend!
Oh I know lots would benefit. Maybe I should have hashtag ratings pg etc. It’s also about protecting your brand a bit too. I don’t think that is as important as it used to be. We’re all just in one big pub together :0) Cheers!
That is a seriously awesome comment! I love the support of the writing community – they’re the best
And while the post I'm going to pimp is my own, it's a contest so it's really not about me at all. It's about all the amazing authors I know who also love My Little Pony: http://rebeccaenzor.com/2013/09/15/announcing-ponyfest13/
We’re so lucky, right? Such an uplifting place.
I love that post of yours – such a cool contest! I hope everyone who stops by here checks it out. My unicorn would turn out pretty freaky, but I may give it a go anyway.
You definitely should! I love freaky ponies
Totally agree with David’s comment. I’ve been a bit hesitant to comment on Girl Boner posts out of concern of being perceived as a male simply reading about sex written by a female. That being said, ladies, rest assured that there are men out there who care first and foremost about making sure their wives are completely satisfied during love making. It’s very easy, and very rewarding, to be a generous lover.
That being said (and thanks for this opportunity, August), I’d like to share with you all (hopefully there are some animal lovers in the audience) a scare my wife and I got when we had to rush our dog to the animal E.R. Pets truly become like family members and you realize just how much you love them when they’re sick.
http://thoughtsfromthecornercube.wordpress.com/2012/10/15/four-legged-family-members/
Like David, your comments are always respectful and insightful – and very much appreciated, Steve! I know readers appreciate them, too.
And oh my gosh, ANIMALS? What’s not to love? Thanks for joining in!
Thanks for your kind words and your mention of my blog and latest book, August. My dear friend Charity Kountz bares her heart and soul in her post on forgiving her abusive parents:
http://charitykountz.com/finding-forgiveness
All thanks go to you, David, including one for sharing that powerful post. Wow. She’s a brave and inspiring lady.
David is such a great guy. His comment was absolutely perfect! I would’ve never “met” him had it not been for our mutual friend, Sheri DeGrom.
I love the friends I’ve met through social media…in fact, if it weren’t for blogs and Twitter, I probably would never have found fabulous people like you, Jenny Hansen, Andi Lyons and so many others. You guys keep me laughing, get me thinking and challenge me….all the while, showing support. As you know, we share a love for “educating” or at least helping folks open their minds to different things. I wrote a post a while back about the dangers associated with the word “never” and eating our words. http://theinnerwildkat.wordpress.com/2013/07/29/the-danger-of-never/
I’m so glad you agree, Kitt! He really is a gem. Speaking of which, my blog/social media circles wouldn’t shine as bright without you! Girl Boner land in particular.
"Never" really can be damaging… So glad you shared that post. Thanks for joining in!
This is a great reason to party! Back when I was a kid, my Mum had a penfriend from Minneapolis. Contact consisted of slow exchanges by letter, but they got to know each other very well and kept in touch for decades. I sometimes think of blogging as similar, but it’s way faster, and you’re right about the way we all connect – a way of talking and sharing ideas with some remarkable people – all of whom are smart, funny, enthusiastic, practical, courageous, reasonable, thoughtful and (certainly in the blogs I read) carrying a genuine warmth in their words.
All of this was predicted by Arthur C. Clarke in the 1960s, extrapolating from the concept of cheap and ubiquitous worldwide communications; and he lived to see it come true.
I want to point everybody to Karen Huber’s blog – where she regularly shares her philosophy of kindness with us:
http://kmhubersblog.com/2013/09/08/the-wisdom-in-compassion-a-matter-of-nuance/
We can all take lessons from her words. And should.
Insightful point, Matthew. I used to love having pen pals, and still enjoy reading my grandmother’s old letters. (When I was a kid, I was so desperate for a penfriend that I threw letter-filled bottles in lakes. LOL) There’s definitely a similar in the blog world, only with added immediacy. It’s lovely to feel a part of so many people’s lives – and vice versa.
Thank you for sharing Karen’s post! It’s beyond lovely, as is she.
Even though I do write about different topics, and normally either my “Letters to celebrities” or “The Cat Prince Diary” are most frequented, I decided to publish the link to my definitely most successful blog post:
http://raaniyork.wordpress.com/2012/03/26/are-beards-really-sexy-or-the-10-beard-rules-for-guys/
It’s an older post, but maybe someone will find the newer ones just as attractive, or funny, or both?
Thanks for giving me this chance, August. I really appreciate it!!
LOL That title alone, Raani… I love it! Fabulous post. I’m so glad you shared! Thank YOU for joining the fun.
Fantastic post, August. I just adore the writing community. I don’t know of any other profession where people go out of their way to help out others, show them the ropes and support them. I have been so blessed by those I have met in person and online. And I love reading your posts (even if I don’t always get the chance to comment). It’s obvious they come from your heart. You’re such an inspiration!
As for David – l have had the pleasure of meeting him in person. And he’s every bit as wonderful IIRL.
You’re so right about the uniqueness of that attribute, Rhonda – such a blessing! Thank you for the beautiful words and continual support. It all means, well you know! (TONS!) I hope to follow suit and meet David in person one day, too.
I have to share your latest link (an LOL-type treat, y’all!): http://rhondahopkins.com/2013/09/20/share-your-funny-spam-day/
Thank you, August! :Have a great weekend!
What a fabulous thing to celebrate, and it couldn’t have gone to a nicer guy! Congrats David and wonderful blog August! I wouldn’t have gotten as far as I have without the writing community to lean on for support, tough times, and laughs. I’m behind in my blogging due to life stuff, but the last post I did quite a bit of discussion. It was The Great Movie vs. Book Debate. Which do you do first: read the book or see the film? http://jesswitkins.wordpress.com/2013/09/09/the-great-book-vs-movie-debate/
Groovy post and discussion, Jess! I love it when folks stir up talk in the comments. Often times, I gain more from the comments than I did from writing the post. Thanks so much for joining.
You know I love your open, honest, thought-provoking posts. That applies to all posts and not just Girl Boner ones. The first post of yours that I read was titled Does Dirt Have Calories?
I subscribed that day. You have been a source of encouragement and inspiration. And, I love that you’re accessible via email to your growing network of fans.
You are special.
Better still, you made me feel special. You opened the door for me to explore.
While it’s not my best written post (and, I lack the time to sneak back in to edit), I posted one inspired by your Girl Boner series and the path to self-discovery. Yes, it’s a melee of humor hits and hodgepodge, but the message (and, the experiences) were a result of you unlocking the chains that bound me to “good girl” social norms.
http://gloriarichard.wordpress.com/2013/01/14/men-o-pause-my-new-textbook/
You are the best, Gloria. Thank you for the wonderful ongoing support, and for sharing your growth with me and GB-ville! I adore your spunk, spirit and uniqueness, which all shines bright in your writing.
August, you are so right about the amazing and valued connections the online writing community affords us. It’s networking at its finest!
I’m sharing a link to a mutual friend of ours who goes a long to making the internet a joyful place to establish meaningful friendships … the sparkly and fabulous Tameri Etherton!
http://tamerietherton.com/2013/09/live-boldly-use-the-dang-stickers/#comment-7644
You know me, August, always a bit late to the party but I get there. Once again, you help us meet one another in a way that stays with each one of us. It is just one of your many talents. As you say, the friendships we are making are one connection at a time.
Adrian Fogelin is a YA writer who has been publishing for the last thirteen years. Like you, August, she is a singer and one half of Hot Tamale; the duo is a North Florida favorite. Her blog is one of the finest on the blogosphere. Each weekly post is a delight. Adrian and I were acquaintances for years but in the last two years, it is blogging that has sprouted a deep friendship. Here is a link to a recent favorite:
http://slowdancejournal.wordpress.com/2013/09/14/under-the-rainbow/
Thanks, again, August.
Karen
Blogging started as my way to stay connected with my strong support system of women, my posse, back home on Michigan’s west coast when I was living in north coastal San Diego. I needed to build a life in CA and recreate my posse online, hence the name of my website, West Coast Posse. I started blogging about silly things I’ve done due to my self-diagnosed ADD, which people found funny. We’ve been back home in MI for a year now, which is where I belong, but it hasn’t been easy. Some really great things have happened, but I seem to have lost some of my funny, which I’m trying to get back. Here’s where the hubs and I are now, as we navigate our corresponding midlife crises with a young boy still at home. This post also appears on Generation Fabulous, which is another nice break:
http://www.westcoastposse.com/2/post/2013/08/back-to-school-with-a-twist-or-midlife-with-a-sidecar.html
Thanks for the opportunity to share it, August, your support is something I treasure.
Hi August ,
Loved this very perceptive post. You have brought in such thoughts about “togetherness & friendship” and the role social media plays in our lives.. Interestingly, I also happened to write on this aspect as I mused on ” Connectedness” in my recent post. Some of my perspectives though run contrary to what you have written!
Cheers
Shakti
Hi Shakti: Thanks for the lovely words! I’m so glad the post struck you, and to hear that you’ve been pondering the same. I’ll pop by your blog to check it out. (I’m always open to opposing opinions. :)) Best wishes!
Even though I can’t comment as often on blogs as I used to do, I love the interactions with my fellow bloggers. Your 10,000th comment is such a great example of the community that can be found here. Keep up the great work!