Rubi Skilton is wise beyond her years. After connecting with the self-described “one (and a half) arm podcast-loving, confidence-forward, self-loving weirdo” who’s on a mission to help others feel comfortable in their own skin and embrace their dream life in a Facebook group, I knew I wanted to have her on Girl Boner Radio ASAP. I’m so grateful she agreed, because we had such an enlightening chat.
We explored her journey as someone with limb difference, major epiphanies she’s had about herself along the way, dating when there’s something different about you and more! Dr. Megan Fleming also weighed in, for a listener who says he’s a 30-year-old virgin and feels ready to start dating, with hopes of finding a partner.
3 Powerful Ways to Build Self-Confidence and Grow
1 Get to yourself through journaling and introspection.
Self-awareness and authenticity are basically everything, according to Rubi. I 100 percent agree.
“Get to know yourself and go in completely open to realizing that you actually do not know yourself,” she suggested. “So journal, and let anything and everything that’s coming to you out on a piece of paper—or an audio recording if you don’t like writing—because it’s so important when we are going through this self-development journey to realize that all the things that society and the world has put on us might not align to what we truly believe.”
2 Step away from “the numbers.”
It’s easy to get caught up in perceived popularity contests or the number on your scale, Instagram posts or bank account. But does focusing there help? Not if it becomes a fixation.
“I think it’s so easy to fall into that,” Rubi said. “‘How many followers you have? How many likes did you get on a picture?’ I don’t want to say it’s not important, because I feel like in this time and age, it is important. But don’t let that be your driving force or what surrounds you. Don’t not that determine whether you’re worthy enough or not. Because at the end of the day, it is just a number.”
3 Let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling.
Our emotions are so valuable and too easy to shame, given common false ideas about negative emotions and “Just be positive!” memes. Rubi is all about embracing our feelings and experiences, though, which I adore. And she wants everyone to benefit from this practice . If you’re in a particularly rough spot right now, she wants you to know this:
“You’re going to be okay. This is part of your story, so embrace it and let yourself feel. Let yourself grieve. Let yourself cry. Let yourself be mad. Most importantly, let yourself experience whatever you’re going through.”
For much more from Rubi Skilton, stream the full episode up above or on your favorite podcast app! If you drop her a note and mention Girl Boner, she’ll give you 40% off her one-on-one podcast course.
Also, it’s BOGO season at The Pleasure Chest! Buy anything that vibrates and get another of the same or lesser value for half price. I’m stoked about the stores’ mixers to promote the fab new inclusive, sex-positive community, #open, too. My friend and colleague Erin Tillman, aka The Dating Advice Girl, is hosting LA’s event on 8/1 at 8pm!