It all started with what Melanie Cristol calls a “sexual awakening.” She was in college, en route to a legal career, when she took an internship with New York City’s off-Broadway production of The Vagina Monologues.
Once she became a lawyer, she missed that sex-positive climate, where she’d been surrounded by people minimizing shame and producing art. Was legal work what she wanted to do forever?
In the midst of questioning her career choice, she went on a romantic vacation, during which something not-so-romantic happened.
“I found myself saying no to oral sex when I want it to be saying yes,” she said during our Girl Boner Radio chat. “And I thought, ‘Gosh, this is so sad… Here I am on this in this beautiful place. We’re trying to have a really wonderful intimate experience and I am holding back. Why is that happening?”
Melanie has since discovered that many people turn down oral sex when they desire it. And dental dams, one possible solution, leave a lot to be desired. The 6×10-inch sheets of thin rubber, used to create a barrier during dental surgery and oral sex, she said, are clumsy. They have to be held in place with your hands and move around easily, raising the risk for UTIs and breathing problems. (Ugh.)
So after intense reflection and research, Melanie came up with a far sexier, more user-friendly alternative: panties for anyone who’d like a more appealing barrier during oral sex. The single-used panties, called Lorals, are consist of vanilla-scented latex and create a barrier when you’re rimming, or switching back and forth between rimming and oral sex, too. When issues such as abrasive facial stubble, self-consciousness or other issues we can’t address in a snap make oral or anal sex unappealing, Lorals can help.
“My mission with Lorals is for everyone to be able to experience the pleasure that they want to receive,” Melanie said. “If that is related to oral sex, I think that that’s amazing. There are so many wonderful sensations that I think are very unique to having a partner’s tongue on your body.”
To learn more about Melanie’s journey, Lorals and practical ways to make oral sex more fun and pleasurable, stream the Girl Boner Radio episode on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Spotify or below! It also features thoughts from Dr. Megan Fleming, for a listener whose girlfriend loves oral sex and she would rather skip it. For a sneak peek at some of the oral sex tips we covered, scroll down.
5 Ways to Make Oral Sex Hotter and More Comfortable
Here are some of the tips we explored! A few appear in my Girl Boner book, with thoughts from Kait Scalisi, MPH.
1 – Get really comfortable physically, before you begin. Use pillows to position yourself well, if that helps.
2 – Make and hold eye contact as you play for boosted intimacy and mutual turn-on.
3 – Think presence, not performance. Focusing on the now and ways to really enjoy giving and/or receiving rather than how you look or whether you’re “good enough” (you are!) can help hugely.
4 – Use flavored lube, certain sex toys or Lorals! All of these can enhance oral sex.
5 – Don’t forget to use your hands! And guide with curiosity. (“What if I touch here, or here?”)
Learn much more by streaming the episode up above or on your favorite podcast app! Have a question you’d like answered on Girl Boner? Drop me a note here.
I absolutely LOVE oral, giving and receiving. I really kind of prefer it. The Lorals seem like a great idea. Only problem is the actual putting them on at the right time? I am sure wearing them all the time is not good and is expensive. Regardless, progress is progress.
Thanks for the explanations and drawing great attention to one of the most wonderful things your can do for your partner.
Scott
Good point, Scott! The company recommends wearing them for a max of 60 minutes, so you’d be best off wearing them when you know you’re about to engage in sex — or even during, if you don’t mind pausing for one or both partners to don them.
Thanks for the kind words!