Feeding our bellies when our hearts are hungry may help for a little while, but it won’t do away with the wound.
Most all of us have eaten out of sadness, stress, joy, anger or boredom at some point. While occasional emotional eating is normal and not usually problematic, intense and ongoing symptoms can lead to severe, even life-threatening, complications.
In some cases, it leads to binge eating disorder, which is the most common eating disorder in the US. Characterized by recurrent, seemingly uncontrollable episodes of eating large amounts of food followed by guilt, shame and distress, BED can make it extremely difficult to function normally, much less thrive. (It’s also highly treatable, so if you’re nodding your head right now and haven’t sought support, please consider doing so.)
Last week I had the pleasure of interviewing Kouros Alaee, a health coach and empowered transgender woman who once struggled with binge eating. While pursuing her career in wellness, Kouros worked with a coach of her own, which set the stage for remarkable healing she now passes on to others.
When I asked Kouros what habits most helped her move forward, she shared an awesome practice I think so many folks could benefit from.
“We have two menus…a naughty menu and a nourishment menu,” she said. “The naughty menu is for when your inner child needs to be set free. Sometimes you need to be bad, and it gives you a healthy way to be bad.”
So what makes the naughty menu? Everything from snagging that do-not-remove tag from your mattress to having sex outdoors or wearing a skirt, sans panties, she said. Rather than overeat to rebel, Kouros learned to rebel in healthier ways.
“The nourishment menu is all about ways you can get nourishment and pleasure outside of food,” she said. Rather than turn to ice cream or dunk breadsticks in Nutella as she once did, she learned to turn to more nourishing practices, such as savoring a facial or time in a homemade spa.
And the perks go far beyond eating.
Not only did new habits, self-work and self-care lead to healing for Kouros, but a stronger sense of connection within herself. When I asked her how all of this impacts sexual empowerment, she said this:
For me, it translated into sexuality being a sacred practice. It’s something deeply sacred and spiritual to me, but it’s also earthly an human and raw and primal. When we can merge the primal with the divinity of it, that’s when we can really have great, healthy sense of our sexuality and sensuality. I think all of that starts with self-love and loving yourself to the capacity where you can be empowered in your sexuality in that way.”
To gain more of Kouros’ brilliance, stream our chat on iTunes or below! You’ll also learn how she moved past childhood abuse to self-embracement, her top tips for self-care, ways to feel sexy and more.