Have you ever reached for your cell phone during sex? Or felt your mind wander so far that the idea of frisky play or orgasm barely occurs to you? While on the surface, these scenarios can seem like a simple matter of distraction or byproducts of a hectic life, they tie into a much deeper theme of connection.
If you relate, you’re far from alone. In a recent study, 10 percent of people surveyed admitted to checking their cell phone during sex. And many people struggle to feel present and fulfilled in sex and relationships, but aren’t sure where to turn for solutions or, worse, chalk it up to “normal” — so why even try to improve things? Luckily, we can empower ourselves to shift things toward the better, if we wish. According to many experts, this starts with self-awareness, intention and communication.
I recently took my Girl Boner book tour to New York City, where I recorded a live Girl Boner Radio podcast episode at The V. Club. Joined by Courtney Cleman, sex and relationship coach and The V. Club co-founder and our very own Dr. Megan Fleming we dug deep into deepening connection before a thoughtful audience.
We also welcomed thoughts on “monkey mind” and intimacy from the incomparable Cyndi Darnell and insight on kindness from my dear friend Heidi Mastrogivanni, whose second novel, Lala Pettibone: Standing Room Only, released that day!
In celebration of our new releases, Heidi and I each gave a fairly impromptu reading from our respective books. Heidi’s was heartfelt and hilarious. Mine felt vulnerable, not because it’s explicit (though it was), but because it’s so personal and one I hadn’t yet read publicly.
I’m so grateful to everyone who attended—yes, even my butterflies! It turned out to be a special and memorable night, thanks to all who contributed, and the episode is one for the books.
Stream the episode on iTunes, iHeartRadio, Spotify or right here:
Huge thanks to Gaston Beltran for recording and running sound for the event! Enjoy a clip from his song “In Between the Sides” featuring Bria Jene in the episode outro and learn more about his music at gastonbeltranmusic.com.
We were big on connection and low on photos—which I much prefer to the reverse! But here are a few glimpses from the evening:
How do you nourish connection in your sex life or relationships? What struck you most about the episode? I love hearing from you!
To submit a question for Dr. Megan and me to address in an upcoming episode, click here.
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