At my recent gig in Brooklyn, I sang a song by K’s Choice called Breakfast. It tells a sweet story about a young brother and sister who find their parents entangled on the kitchen floor and think, “There must be an easier way to make breakfast!”
Funny, right? People tend to chuckle when they hear the tune, probably partly because it’s so darn relatable. We all misunderstand certain sex-related things early on. Most of us learn relatively little about sex overall until we’re—well, having it.
I don’t know about you, but I wish I’d known these sexy tidbits much earlier on:
1. A blowjob involves no blowing. Okay, maybe that didn’t surprise any of you. But when I first heard that a blowjob was something a woman did with her mouth to a man’s penis, I assumed it involved some sort of air expulsion. (Hello. Why don’t we call it a suck-job? A suck-gift? Suck-hobby? Hmm…) Unless there’s some technique I’m unaware of, no blowing is involved—for anyone who’s actually wondering.
2. Like guys, many pubescent girls orgasm in their sleep. This little known fact is one parents should consider discussing with their adolescent daughters, says sex and relationship expert, Laura Berman, PhD. Girls should know that nocturnal climaxing is normal if or when it happens, and that exploring related feelings through masturbation a natural, potentially wonderful thing.
3. Women have wet dreams, too. Even into adulthood, sexy dreams produce physiological reactions. While whether you’ve had a wet dream may seem like a no brainer, female hard-ons and ejaculates are a lot less obvious than men’s. So ladies, if you’ve ever woken from an erotic dream, there’s a reasonable chance that your pussy really purred during the night! If you haven’t already, take note next time. When you find yourself seemingly postcoital, why not turn your dream into reality? (Just a thought! Better than coffee, IMHO.)
4. Females really do get boners—and not merely in the overall sense we celebrate here. The clitoris—aka, the pleasure button—starts out identical to the penis at birth and contains erectile tissue. When we’re aroused, it fills with blood, swelling up, protruding and becoming even more sensitive to touch. (No wonder it feels so good.) Unlike the penis, clitoral erections linger for a while after orgasm.
5. Girls pressure guys to have sex, and guys don’t always want it. The stereotypes about guys always desiring sex and girls rarely wanting it run so rampant that many young males feel ashamed if they don’t want sex. Similarly, many girls who desire sex more so than their male counterparts feel that there’s something wrong with them. Each case is different, say many sexuality experts, and matters like individual maturity, education and self-esteem tend to play far bigger roles than gender when it comes to sexual desire. The same applies in adulthood. What’s important is that we forge relationships with our bodies, our sexuality and our partners by which we feel healthy and satisfied.
For more on the importance of discussing sexuality with kidlets, check out my latest post for the National Eating Disorders Association:
I’d love to hear from you! What facts about sex surprised you? Any funny stories to share? Or questions you’re still wondering about? All respectful comments are welcome. ♥ For more GB chit chat, join me on Twitter (#GirlBoner) and the Girl Boner Facebook page.