Where does pleasure fit into your life during challenging times? Say, during a pandemic? With our lives changing in so many ways, pleasure can feel difficult to cultivate. It may also be more important than ever.
I spoke with our resident sex and relationship therapist Dr. Megan Fleming the other day about prioritizing pleasure amid the pandemic, the role gratitude and orgasms might play in self-care. (Side note, they’re great for immune function, too!) We also explored ways to navigate COVID-related challenges, such as missing human touch or having to quarantine where you don’t feel safe, and answered a question about wedding planning during this wild time.
I hope that where ever you are, you’re staying as safe and healthy as possible out there and that you feel the light we’re sending you.
Listen to our Girl Boner Radio conversation on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio or below! Read on for lightly edited transcripts.
August:
Megan, thank you so much for joining me.
Dr. Megan:
As always, August so love to be here.
August:
It’s fun to have you in sort of real time. And I know so much has changed since we last spoke, in the world for everyone really. I’m curious, you’re in New York City, it’s this big epicenter of the pandemic. How are things going for you?
Dr. Megan:
You know, things are actually for me going really well, although I certainly can say it’s a very surreal time and I’m just very fortunate. I’m in lower Manhattan. I have noticed that people very respectful of like social distancing and wearing masks. I definitely have been speaking with clients that you know, other boroughs or like Upper West Side other areas they’ve actually had police on my megaphones, prompting social distancing. So, um, you know, if first city that never sleeps, it’s really surreal to see you basically going out and not even necessarily seeing single person.
So, you know, it’s sort of mixed in that way. And we definitely even in our building have some people that are like frontlines in terms of healthcare workers and emergency doctors. And you know, a unique thing happening here is at 7pm, everybody is like shouting and ringing cowbells and really just screaming support for everybody who’s on the front lines of health care. So that really is a unique experience.
August:
I love that. I caught a little bit of that on the news. And I think it’s such a beautiful way to really unify and come together in this really positive, grateful way. And it’s interesting what you said about the streets there. That’s how it feels about the traffic here. It’s so surreal to see these freeways that are always like bottlenecked and you can’t move, just just like the ghost town feeling, and then also to see the skies so blue and so bright, and I’m really grateful that you’re in a place that that people are respecting [social distancing]. That’s so important.
Speaking of gratitude, you brought up in a recent episode how important gratitude lists can be, during hard times, definitely during this pandemic, and how it can play a role in cultivating pleasure. I wondered if we could talk a little bit more about that. Do you keep gratitude lists?
Dr. Megan:
I sort of have a gratitude journal. You know, we talk a lot about daily writing practices. And I think that the role of gratitude, it’s almost an extension of John Gottman, the famous marital researcher, he talks about the five to one rule. And because of the negativity bias in the brain, especially think now, we are bombarded with things that can create fear and anxiety or maybe perhaps close-quarters tension in your relationships. And it’s so important in the face of that exposure to negativity that we offset it, right? And the role of the five to one is for every negative, what are five positive things that are true? And gratitude is it version of that practice, which is in this moment, you know, what can I be grateful for? In this case, it’s my health or my family.
Because I think too often, we take for granted what we have and we focus on, again, fear, anxiety or what we don’t have. And the practice is really about rewiring your brain to notice the positivity because left to our own devices, we’re definitely going to favor negativity. It’s just more salient.
August:
Yes, the brain just jumps to that. It’s a survival tactic, right? And it’s so interesting, because you’d also mentioned the importance of limiting our exposure to the news and I did a little bit of googling about this. And there was this big survey in 2018—so well before the pandemic, and findings were published in Time Magazine, and it said that more than half of Americans say the news causes them stress. Many feel anxiety, fatigue, they lose sleep as a result, yet one in 10 adults checks the news every hour. And fully 20% of Americans reported constantly monitoring their social media feeds, which often expose them to, you know, headlines. And right now the headlines can be quite terrifying. Why is that so important from a pleasure standpoint?
Dr. Megan:
Well, I think from a pleasure as well as a mental health perspective, to recognize it’s about exposure. And the news is constantly changing, even sometimes within hours, certainly within days. So I think it’s really about limiting your exposure because if you check it once a day, you’ll get that information then. It’s not helping your brainIt’d be different if there’s something you could do in the moment, right? People who are looking at what’s happening in the stock market or looking at how many cases or how many deaths. All of those facts, looking at that multiple times a day is only going to increase the sense of anxiety.
And so, you know, this is really about preserving your mental health and well being that, of course, you don’t want to be in the dark and not knowing what’s happening around you. But at the same time, limiting that exposure as well thinking, when’s the best time to get that exposure? You know, for many people, it’s probably in the morning when they’re more rested and relaxed, certainly, probably not the evening and before you go to bed, because you don’t want to be introducing those thoughts, images and ideas as you’re trying to be decompressing and settling down.
August:
Yes, that’s probably one reason I’ve heard people having many more nightmares is because it’s the last thing you see, before you go to bed. It’s kind of in your psyche already.
Dr. Megan:
Exactly. And so, you know, what we’re talking about is in this time, and knowing that again, we’ve never been through something like this before. It’s really unprecedented, but that’s why I always say self care is non-negotiable. And my new extension to that is, you know, if self-care is non negotiable, because it really is what we recharges us and refuels us so that we have more to give. That’s why they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself on the airplane first. Because I think for many of us, especially women, it can be counterintuitive. We set up ourselves at the bottom of that list. And so the self-care is just the bare minimum of feeling resourced, but the adding of pleasure is what really, I think it’s such a difference in quality of life…
It’s like, what do I get to do today? And it really sets us into a place of when you’re feeling good, it’s like energetically, you just want to share that goodness. From my perspective, we do not especially in times like this, because I think people can feel guilty, like how is it possible? Why should I in any way prioritize pleasure when I see so much pain or I see, you know, people losing their lives, and I can appreciate that it can seem like this isn’t, quote unquote, the right time. But in some ways, in my mind, it’s never been a better time even for me to think about it. This is how we need to be laughing. Comedy. You know, we certainly know in research from cancer, that you know, the stress and anxiety treatment that what helps people is when they have a positive state of mind. And when we laugh and feeling pleasure bodies and laughing are all things that are going to be in the service of our mental health and well being.
August:
That is such an excellent point. And it reminded me of a news plan that I have kind of been sticking to, which was the sources of where I was getting my news was feeling stressful, too. And so I switched to Trevor Noah for several days, because he’s doing his show on the couch from his apartment where he shares fact-based headlines and the news, but he’s funny as well. And still very compassionate. I agree that the humor is so so big.
I imagine some people might hear this, and some people are like, yeah, completely, like, I really need this, this pleasure. And it’s coming pretty easily to me. I actually did a Twitter poll, and asked, Have you been prioritizing pleasure during the pandemic? And 38% of people said “yes, every day.” 10% said, “no, it’s too difficult.” And 52% said, “here and there.” Of course, this is not representative of everyone. It wasn’t a large-scale, official study or anything. But I thought that was interesting. It sounded like the bulk of people either were really appreciating pleasure right now or struggling to some degree. What would you have to say to somebody who’s in that, “no, it’s too difficult” place?
Dr. Megan:
Well first I would say that I’m happy and sort of surprised… You said it wasn’t necessarily a great sample size, because from a statistical perspective, all those things matter, but that the majority of people are, even if not daily, often prioritizing pleasure is very hopeful for me. Because in some ways I would have imagined that might be higher than 10%. But for those who aren’t, I think it’s always to be where you are and to have self compassion, because you might have recently lost a loved one. You might have somebody who’s really sick and you’re in a caretaking role and you’re feeling burnt out. Really just checking in with yourself…to double down on the compassion and self-care and know that in time and when you’re feeling ready, that these pleasure practices and the role of prioritizing pleasure ultimately are going to be in your service and even in the service of those you love care about.
August:
Yes, absolutely. That self-compassion piece seems so big. I know that for me, I will have days where I’m feeling great and I’m just doing my thing. And there are some days where I just feel so exhausted and I did have to give myself, proactively give myself permission, to rest more on those days and that’s made a big difference.
And I know some people are in situations that are much more challenging than others. I saw this article on BBC, talking about the increased social isolation and how it’s fueling for a lot of people a sense of loneliness or health anxiety or stress about, you know, economic downturn, all these things that are much more pronounced if you already have a mental illness or if you are single or isolating alone, which I know a number of people who are. How does this all play out for somebody who doesn’t have access to human touch, which I know can be such a source of nurturing?
Dr. Megan:
I mean, it’s a great question and I do have a number of clients in that circumstance. So I definitely am hearing some of those firsthand stories. And you know, there’s something to be said about not having touch, you know, it’s been over a month for many of us. And it’s looking like not that anything’s been fully determined, but it could easily be another month. And so one is to recognize, and just as I said, to name and know that there’s that longing there, but that’s where I think the technology it’s about connection and community. And now more than ever, I think there’s so many opportunities through whether it’s the Zoom platform, you know, you hearing all these stories about people reconnecting with everyone from like middle school to high school, somebody you may not have talked about or to like 20 or 30 years…
For some of my clients, it’s getting to being part of support groups. Whether it’s a mixed group of different ages and genders or it’s more of a cohesive group. So you feel like you’re with a group of people who are more identifying with your personal challenges and struggles. But overall, it’s any means by which you recognize you are not alone in this and that there always is that light at the end of the tunnel.
August:
Absolutely, I’ve noticed that there are a number of options for people to have online access to groups that are specifically dealing with these kinds of issues.I even someone for people who are introverted and yet feeling like they don’t have their own alone space right now. You know, there’s all these different kinds of groups, meeting by Zoom or, you know, different kinds of like Facebook groups, all kinds of things like that, and therapists certainly as you are offering, tele-therapy or remote therapy can be so helpful.
In the LA Times, they talked about how ironic it is that human touch boosts immune function. And ironically, people who are isolating alone, they’re supposed to be working on strong immune function and they can’t connect. Some of their experts talked about the benefits. They said that yoga is sort of like a self-massage. I’d never heard that before, but I thought that was really interesting – things that involve mindfulness and touch, even if it’s your own body, stretching and walking. I personally know that pets make a big difference. I’ve heard friends say that weighted blankets can help if you’re feeling like you need if you’re feeling really anxious, and you want that kind of comfort.
Dr. Megan:
Well, I think a few things are around there. Because yes, it’s absolutely true. We know an extended hug, 20 to 30 seconds, releases oxytocin, which is sort of a cuddle or the attachment hormone. But we also know that when you have an orgasm, it also releases dopamine and oxytocin. Betty Dodson was just in New York Times, sort of saying the safest sex is sex for one. So whether you’re partnered or not, I think the role of orgasm to release tension in your body to feel pleasure, to again release oxytocin to feel sort of more connected and less isolated… I’ve always sort of said the apple a day, it’s sort of the orgasm a day. And for people to recognize you always have that option and if you haven’t yet had your orgasm, this is a great time for exploration around what are your personal turn-ons and seeking more ways to feel pleasure in your body.

August:
Yes, absolutely. I did see that sex toy sales have been on the increase which I was happy to see. That means that people are prioritizing pleasure enough to want to connect in that way and didn’t I hear that New York even you know, had some guidelines about safer sex through masturbation? I think that’s awesome.
Dr. Megan:
Yes, there’s even safer sex from the CDC about the role of penetration versus kissing, because kissing right now feels like more of a risk factor. So certainly, wherever you are, it’s to educate yourself because we always want to be minimizing risk, but absolutely on your own, that is the safest sex in this context. Unless, obviously, you’ve been this consistent time quarantined with your partner. But I think it really is the thinking out of the box. And certainly for those who are long distance…the great thing about sex toys today is there’s so many apps and ways of through Bluetooth technology that your partner can remotely be giving you pleasure. And so, I think that this is a unique opportunity.
We always sort of say the crisis can be the opportunity. And this can be either time of great growth or struggle. And throughout it, it may at times, be both of those things, because as you said, sometimes we have those down days. But I think it’s to realize when we do resource ourselves and we do prioritize self-care and pleasure practices and we prioritize that, we’re more likely to be in a place in a state that we’re, you know, we have more to give, and we are protecting ourselves getting going back to immune functioning. Because stress is cortisol, right? And so if we’re just focusing on the news or finances or what might be happening with our jobs, we are just swirling in that sort of negativity and that negativity bias. So important that we don’t let that just happen, that we can step outside of ourselves, observe that process and realize what we choose to do and think is a choice point. And we can always redirect our attention.
August:
That’s really beautiful. I saw that there’s potential condom shortage coming, too. So as you were saying that I thought what a beautiful way for somebody who wants to make sure they don’t get pregnant at this time and they can still have fun whether they’re doing mutual masturbation with a partner or for you know, just on their own. It’s a beautiful way to, to celebrate and to have a new adventure, that sense of novelty and a time when your life might start feeling a little mundane in certain ways. I think that’s beautiful.
I do have a question from somebody named Kelsey. She said that she got engaged over the weekend, “hashtag #loveinthetimeofCOVID.” And she wrote this: “I’m looking for advice. I want to start planning during quarantine since I have the time and I know planning while working will be a nightmare, but I’m so overwhelmed. One of the biggest things is our guest list, which is at 200. How do you know who is okay to leave out we have big families and every time we try to cut it down? Basically removing like one or two people, the amount of friends on the list is at 50. And then family at 150, oy.”
So there does seem to be a sense of overwhelm. And I think it’s interesting, she wants to make the most of this time and go, “Oh, I have this time to plan.” But it’s also feeling overwhelming.
Dr. Megan:
Well, I get that not only for, you know, loving the time of COVID, and those who are just getting engaged, but certainly I have a number of clients who have already had to postpone their weddings or I have another one, her wedding is in July and it’s supposed to be 300 people, and they haven’t yet made that call.
So there’s a you know, she’s definitely not alone and feeling sort of the stress and the tension and also wanting to seize the opportunity. In terms of those resources, you know, there’s wedding planners, there’s great wedding magazines, talking to your friends, really sort of seeking out those resources. But I think predominantly the challenge here is, you know, the headcount essentially. And so I’m not sure if that’s based on they had an expectation, or maybe it’s a venue that they’re looking at, and it capped at 150, or it’s a financial limitation. Because I think that what it probably brings up because she mentioned, you know, 50, or her guests, and 150 are sort of, you know, parents and family friends.
I’ve seen more now than ever sort of those conversations, who are we celebrating? It used to be that it was cousins, aunts, uncles, you know, a lot of your extended family, which you may or may not be that close to. And listen, this is a very personal decision. There’s no gold standard here. It’s a case-by-case basis. I think it’s really to sit down first with your partner and then ultimately, with your family members that they might be contributing financially to say, What is it you want the day to look and feel like? And based on that, are there other ways of meeting including people or helping them feel like they’re a part of it then may not necessarily include them being at the actual event?
I can also think that because it’s really uncertain yet, when because we’re not, we don’t know, maybe a year before we get a vaccine, it’s literally safe to be getting together in such large groups. It’s also a time to consider, especially if you have older relatives, grandparents, how you might be doing something virtually for them, or it’s sort of a, you know, a teleclass, or it’s a live so that they have an livestream, right, that they have an access and an ability to be part of the celebration, but not necessarily present. So I really think first and foremost it’s an opportunity to start those conversations. And sometimes they’re difficult, because everybody you know, wants to be there be a part of it. But ultimately, you know, it’s up to the couple themselves, to, in my mind, really cast the vision for the wedding they want and who they want to be there.
August:
I completely agree. I love that idea of really thinking who you most desire cause I think so often it’s just concerned about disappointing certain people.Or, you know, the kind of “shoulds” that we have, which sometimes in weddings, we will invite people who, you know, we may not totally want them to be there, but it’s really important to a mom or to, you know, and that’s okay to make those decisions too. But I love the idea of starting with who you know you want to be there.
And then the, the piece about having a remote option, that’s something that I think is coming from this pandemic [is] I have a friend who’s celebrating her birthday online and she lives on the East Coast, and I would not normally be able to join her. I’ve never been to a birthday celebration for her. And she said she might do this every year. So maybe we’ll have more connection in a way.
Dr. Megan:
Absolutely. I think that’s great. And whether, certainly it’s birthdays – I’ve also seen even people doing videos like everybody sending in the clip and one of the, you know, family and friend is editing it right. Just put it all together so that more people are, you know, actively engaged in that celebration. And I’ve also heard this in terms of funerals, that because people aren’t able to grieve, they’re starting to do YouTube or Zoom or other ways of people can share their sentiments and even when it’s recorded, it really helps somebody really, like a shiva, sort of celebrate their loved one. And I think anything that decreases that sense of aloneness or isolation, whether it’s for a happy occasion, like a birthday or a sad one, like a funeral, that, you know, we’re not meant to be doing it alone.
August:
Absolutely, you’re so right about that. And I really felt what you were saying about people who are grieving because I think people are grieving, you know, the death of a loved one and they’re also grieving events that they were supposed to go speak at or you know, celebrate at, gatherings. they were supposed to be at, parts of their usual lives. That’s just that’s so big and I love that people are getting creative and thankfully we are in this digital age where we can connect.
I feel like it’d be remiss if I didn’t mention some of the difficulties people are facing with, with domestic violence being stranded at home with someone that you’re not safe around. As a clinical expert, what what is your take? What is your best advice for someone who is not feeling safe where they’re staying?
Dr. Megan:
Well, I think, and I definitely want to address that part, but I think the first is to highlight, because some people may not be aware if that’s not part of the inner circle, but unfortunately, in a circumstance like this lockdown, domestic violence is on the rise. In Spain, they have reports that it’s increased by a fifth. In France, up by a third. And certainly similar trends in the UK, US and China. And so I think first and in fact, as a therapist, when I did some training with John Gottman and they look at assessment, we don’t often as therapists even asked that question around domestic violence. And yet this, even not in a quarantine time, it is a significant number.
So I think it’s always on some level needs to be top of mind that we’re mindful and thinking about may this be a friend or family member who might be in an unsafe situation. And that ultimately, is trying to find, what are the safe options, there are actually hotels that are offering, you know, if you go to your state and look at hotlines, and the different resources, and I know that we can find them and put them in the show notes.
Because importantly, it’s if you’re feeling unsafe, that there’s always an option of where can you go. And more and more, there are people coming together to create more options. And yet, as I say that, I can also appreciate because it’s not necessarily sort of emergent personnel that some of the hotlines and those resources aren’t as open or as available as they used to be. And so as always friends, families, therapists are available online, just to know that they are always resources. And the first and foremost if safety is nonnegotiable always. So when an if you’re in that situation, to reach out to mental health professional, to friends, and to know that there’s always an option, there’s always a resource to help keep you safe.
August:
That’s such a wonderful piece of advice and a reminder that I think when you’re in that situation, it sometimes feels like there aren’t options. So to hear you say that there are options and even if you try one number and it doesn’t work out that there are other resources. I really appreciate that you shared that… I’ll definitely share some links in the show notes and we’re sending so much love and support to people who are in any kind of difficult situation, especially not feeling safe right now.
Dr. Megan:
And as you say that, I can imagine a circumstance of domestic violence, there might be increased uses of—because of the stress—whether it’s alcohol or substance abuse. So, I think on one hand…people don’t wake up and think that they want to be violent to their partners. Usually, it’s when they’re sort of triggered to that we call that the amygdala hijack, right? When all rational thinking is offline. And there’s a reason we say rage is blind. So I think it’s also helping couples recognize the warning signs or flags that tensions are rising or that someone is irritable or short-tempered or short-fused…where you know whether it’s a timeout, the role of having space as a couple, whether you’re going outside or you’re in a different room… It’s really about being proactive. So you’re not getting to those kinds of situations that can be so turbulent.
And so I really want to empower people to begin to have those difficult conversations. What is it you both need? How can you address that, given your current environment, to really just help each other get the space and the practices that help someone to relax and decompress?
August:
Yes, absolutely. That’s so important. And on a practical level if the situation is you’re going to be in the same house, you know, not everyone can just leave and also sometimes that’s the most dangerous time for someone to just leave without a plan. So I really appreciate that very much and finding ways to, as you said, address everybody’s challenges like how can we make this work? So important.
For support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
I want to go back to one of your tips from your wonderful father about the importance of prioritizing pleasure in the midst of this this time, and you really recommended savoring two things a day, choosing two specific things. Why do you think that’s important?
Dr. Megan:
Well I think part of it is always the commitment, the prioritization of pleasure. And then it’s ultimately about the practice… Most people probably identify more with say, yoga or meditation or mindfulness, sort of as a practice. But again, as I said earlier, the role of pleasure: what makes you feel good? It like resources you above and beyond just sort of the the natural level of self care when it comes to pleasure, it’s not something that necessarily takes a lot of time or even costs money. It could be savoring it a piece of chocolate or drawing the bath with aromatherapy or accessorizing or dancing for no particular reason in the middle of the day…
I sort of say we are all our own expert. So I think everybody listening should create a list for themselves: your top 10 things that give you pleasure. Some that are really quick and easy and you can do on your own. Some you may need to incorporate your partner into, but ultimately and mindfully each day, you’re allowing prioritizing at least two things that just sort of up-level any experience and just pleasure that feels good in the body… Often when we think about pleasure, pleasure doesn’t equal hedonism, right? It doesn’t mean excess per se. It just means doing something that feels good. And I think it’s important to qualify, doing something that feels good isn’t bad, because I think some people out there think pleasure equals excess.
August:
That’s such a good point. Yes, we definitely have that idea of pleasure equals excess and somehow restriction means you’re like really determined and disciplined. And actually, neither of those are quite true. When you commit with discipline to savoring each day something, that’s wonderful. What is something in your life right now that that would fall on that list? What’s a practice of pleasure that you’re savoring?
Dr. Megan:
For me, it’s getting outside and, if the weather’s nice getting on a bike, because I used to spin and I miss practice. And, you know, I’m also savoring just this time with my kids. I have a 13-year-old and a 16-year-old and the psychologist in me is constantly aware of like, “Oh my daughter’s about to go off to college. We on’t have this time and opportunity that we have right now.” And I think that you know, creating rituals.
And so certainly, that’s a practice that I really highly recommend because we really want to anchor and like enlarge in our life, those moments that really are sort of peak peak experiences for us.
Another interesting thing that I do have been doing with my family is sort of what we call nostalgia. It’s actually a term from social psychologists, because we have seen that the there are remarkable benefits of reliving the positive experiences. In fact, in my pleasure challenge, I call it revisiting the ghost of pleasure past. So looking at old photos, so we’re looking at vacations that we took this time. Usually this is spring break in previous years. And I also love looking at the pictures of when they were little kids and babies and for all of us… It is just so much fun to go back and relive those moments. And it brings forth such great feelings.
August:
That made me smile so much. My parents live in Minnesota, like 2,000 miles away, and they’ve been sending, “photo of the day”…old photos they’re going through. And it’s been really fun. Some photos I’ve never seen before. My mom shared like a funny story about when we were really little. Those things are really fun for sure.
You mentioned your nine-day pleasure challenge, which was so fun—for anyone who was a part of that, you already know that. And now you are offering it in a really exciting way where people can kind of go at their own pace. Tell us about that.
Dr. Megan:
Yeah, so we had, it had launched in January and so many people, you know, the feedback was how helpful it was. And again, I think often people think that and it’s true, right? logistically, it is a time management issue. And we really need to figure out how we do prioritize pleasure, but when people did the exercises because they were sort of pleasure prompts each day.
We often make decisions about wanting to make changes in our lives, but it’s really about the commitment and so being with others who are equally committed to doing this challenge together, has really been a you know, wonderful experience. So anybody who’s interested, I would love for them to then go to my website, which is greatlifegreatsex.com/pleasure, and then they can sign up.
And the other thing I want to announce around all of this is I’m really excited to be hosting an event for World Sexual Health Day for North America, and that’s going to be happening in September. This year’s theme had been pleasure matters, which of course, is so up my alley and I’m so passionate about.
But there was just a committee international committee meeting and because of what’s happening in a global scale, right now, the theme has changed to sexual health and rights in the time of confinement. And so I can certainly say, you know, how much sense that that makes, but not only can I not wait to host this event, I can assure you that even in this new conversation, pleasure can and should always get its due. So if you’re interested in hearing more about how to sign up for that and the details, you can reach out to me through greatlifegreatsex.com/pleasure, and I certainly will keep you notified about the upcoming details for World Sexual Health Day.
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August:
After our conversation, I was thinking about those of you with kids and unique challenge you all might be experiencing. I’ve heard friends of mine who are parents say they’re loving the special time, as exhausting as it all is… Some have said their kids aren’t sleeping as well, therefore they aren’t either. Single parents wishing they had some respite. Parents missing alone time or grieving along with their kids who are missing out on proms, graduation ceremonies and more. If you relate to any of that, Dr. Megan and I are sending so many good thoughts and vibes your way.
I asked Megan if she had any related thoughts or pointers to share and she said this:
To all of the parents out there, you are doing an amazing job because I know we are all motivated to be doing our best in times like these… I also know, even for myself, times can get trying and patience can get thin. Have compassion for yourself and take that as a warning sign or flag that you need to prioritize, within an hour, self-care and my personal recco pleasure. Small things that give you pleasure and don’t have to cost money or take a lot of time. One of my favorite go to pleasures is putting on one of my favorite songs and dancing, moving my body and getting my heart rate up. Try it, I bet it will become on your short list too to reset and reboot your mood.
Learn more about Dr. Megan’s free 9-day pleasure challenge at greatlifegreatsex.com/pleasure. When you sign up, you’ll get a free gift to download: her Clitoral Play Manual.
The challenge is for folks of all genders and such a fun way to feel supported and guided as you make way for more pleasure in your daily life. If you have a topic or question you’d like explored in an upcoming episode, please drop me a note through my website. And if you’re enjoying Girl Boner Radio, I’d so appreciate a rating and review. Thanks so much for listening and have a beautiful, Girl Boner-embracing week.
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Dr. Megan also just announced a wonderful 6-week intensive called Building Your Sensual Life, starting on May 14th. During this six-week intensive, you’ll work with her to in a safe and brave space—a “pleasure container,” as she called it—where you’ll explore your own sexuality and sensuality. In her latest newsletter, she wrote: “Week by week, we’ll embrace our inner wisdom, as well as the wisdom of the group, and give our own sensual habits the time and attention they deserve. In the end, you’ll walk away with a personalized Sensual Pleasure Map.” Learn more and sign up here!
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