Is menopause really a sex-pause? Not necessarily, or even all that often, according to research, lots of folks’ experience and my recent Girl Boner® Radio guest, Arlene Schindler. Here are some of the groovy perks you can look forward to or start enjoying pronto.
5 Perks of Sex After Menopause
No more worries around pregnancy.
Some folks don’t even realize how much pregnancy concerns affect arousal and sex until the concerns are lifted. Without the possibility of pregnancy, or pressure of aiming for one, you may feel freer to stay present and focus on pleasure.
There are women who are feeling incredibly free [after menopause],” Arlene said during our Girl Boner chat. “When your eggs dry up, your life begins. If you don’t have to think about pregnancy. If you don’t have to get home in time to take care of your children…you can do anything.”
Greater self-confidence and self-acceptance.
In a survey I conducted for my forthcoming Girl Boner book, I asked women what’s most helped them move past barriers to sexual empowerment. The most common response? Increasing age or time. “As I’ve gotten older, I feel less of a need to impress anyone…like my sexuality is my own,” one woman told me. “I have fewer f*cks to give.”
Less chance of coitus interruptus.
If you’re a parent, chances are that over time, as your tykes grow into adults and leave the metaphorical nest, you’ll have more privacy and freedom for sexy play of all kinds.
Any issues—that you or a partner may be experiencing—can be managed.
Everything from vaginal dryness to erectile dysfunction can be managed or worked around. This hasn’t always been the case, but thankfully, more is understood about sexuality and things like using lube are less taboo.
The possibility of more pleasure!
While not everyone prioritizes from mid-life and beyond, those who do tend to enjoy it. Like, a lot. Such folks also tend to address any issues that crop up, most of which are mighty manageable. Plus, all of the above factors can boost pleasure. Relaxation sets the stage for arousal, so less stress means more turn-on. Greater confidence, increased awareness of your body, having more time and space for Girl Boner fun and increased intimacy with a partner (which can derive from addressing any issues) can all lead to more pleasure and bigger Os.
*If you’re struggling in the sex department for any reason, please know you’re not alone and that there’s a ton of hope and help to be had. And if you’re cool with not desiring or having as much sex, that’s fine, too! Just make sure you’re checking in with yourself and your partner(s), if applicable, along the way.
We explored some of the above in the episode, which you can download or stream on iTunes, iHeartRadio, Stitcher Radio, Google Play or below! It also features Dr. Megan Fleming‘s thoughts for a listener who fears her husband will desire younger women as the two of them age, why many players really cheat, Arlene’s “best worst” blind date experience (she’s been on over 400!), her experience as a phone sex operator pioneer and more.
To learn more about Arlene, visit ArleneSchindler.com.
Scott L Vannatter says
I admit I didn’t listen to the audio, but read the post.
In case it wasn’t mentioned, as an older adult, I have noticed…
Though I have issues with ED, I notice my arousal is up and I enjoy thinking about sex now, more than ever, because I don’t go haywire when I do.
I can be interested in younger women and it’s okay, especially in the BDSM area I have begun to affiliate with. I have a lot to offer them. Can’t stay up all night and party, but love, companionship, compassion, and an enjoyment of them as persons.
It’s not so bad…
August McLaughlin says
Those are great things to offer, Scott! I love when age among adults isn’t a barrier. And no worries about listening to the show. The blog posts are usually “extras,” and the episodes have a whole lot more happening within. You’re always welcome to read and/or listen as you feel inclined!