Contrary to what pop culture suggests, treating ourselves to tasty vittles is extremely sexy! Depriving ourselves, on the other hand, not so much. Even sexier? Courage, wit and authenticity, even (or especially) in the face of adversity.
When I learned that Amanda Kyle Williams was preparing for a second round of cancer treatment, I wanted to share with her a smidge of the humor and kindness she provides her many friends and fans. (If you haven’t read Amanda’s books or followed her on Facebook, you’re missing out!)
So I did what any Girl Boner-loving improvisational baker would do: baked her a batch of butt cookies.
While I’d seen cookies shaped like bums and cleavage, I hadn’t encountered any with healthy ingredients or that celebrated more underwear types than thongs and G-strings. With a bit of experimentation, I came up with Sexy Pumpkin Butts, which provide more fiber, protein and antioxidants than typical cookies, come in many shapes and sizes and have a nice bronzy hue, making them, hmm… either tanned or multi-ethnicity.
Sexy Pumpkin Butt Cookies
In a large bowl, combine dry ingredients, then sift them together with a fork.
2 cups white whole wheat flour*
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 Tablespoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon salt
In a medium-size bowl, cream the following ingredients together well.
1/2 cup organic butter, softened*
1 cup raw brown sugar, packed
1 cup canned, pure pumpkin
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
*For wheat- or gluten- free cookies, use half almond flour, half chickpea flour — or your favorite gluten-free flour blend.
*For vegan cookies, use Earth Balance. The cookies will be softer, and may require a few more minutes in the oven.
Pour wet mixture into dry ingredients, stirring until well-combined. Cover and refrigerate for a few hours or overnight.
Once the dough is firm, roll it out on a floured surface. If the dough is sticky, add flour. If it’s too dry, add a splash of water.
Cut heart shapes using cookie cutters, then cut the tips off to make sexy butts!
Bake on un-greased baking sheets at 350 degrees F. until golden—or about 10 minutes.
Let butts cool, then frost as desired! Makes about 3 dozen 2 – 3″ cookies.
If you’d like a sexy dessert recipe designed for YOU, specific to your taste buds and dietary needs, here’s your chance!
I’ve decided to reward Girl Boner Radio listeners for their support by offering monthly drawings for prizes. Anyone who posts a review of Girl Boner Radio on iTunes or Stitcher Radio by November 15th will have their name added to the drawing. If you’ve already posted a review, your name will go in twice!
I’ll announce the winner on the air in late November. Since you don’t have to use your actual name when you post, I’ll read the identifier you use. I’ll also tweet and post the winner’s ID here, so if you miss the episode, no sweat! And no need to get fancy; reviews won’t be judged.
***IMPORTANT: Please don’t post a review if you haven’t listened to the show or pretend to like it! Honest, positive ratings and reviews from regular listeners really help–and those who post them deserve sweets o’ plenty.
Never posted an iTunes review? Here are some tips:
How to Rate and Review a Podcast on your iPhone or iPad via iMore.com
How to Rate and Review a Podcast on iTunes (video by Jeff Sanders)
What desserts do you find sexy? What’s your favorite kind of cookie? I love hearing from you!
Don’t forget to tune in to Girl Boner Radio for today’s episode. I’ll be interviewing adult star and professional escort, Sarah Vandella! So excited.
They are awesome!
Thanks, Catherine! Means a lot from an artist.
Butt, butt, and more butts.
Nice piece and great looking cookies!
LOL Thanks, Bette! Both were fun to conjure.
These cookies definitely are something special!
Unfortunately I don’t like the taste of pumpkin. But I like their look.
Definitely gives “bite me” a whole new meaning.
LOL Oh so true!
Dagnabbit, Piper got here before I did and stole my line!
Not really, but it’s fun to pretend my brain would have unfrzzzzzzted long enough to come up with that.
Amazing what can be done with healthy ingredients. Even more amazing what happens to Girl Boner when eating those healthy ingredients. Just sayin’…
“Sexy Pumpkin Butts.” I’m so glad you clarified that August. I was afraid to ask. lol. Pumpkin is one of my favorites. But I might just keep the bum out of it. But yours look amazing. No not your butt. Well maybe your butt. Oh, never mind.
LOL I’m sure they’d be tasty butt-free! Thanks for the smiles, Karen!