One of my favorite things about Girl Boner® is the array of perspectives I get to hear and learn from. While I have plenty of chaotic rollercoaster-y borderline traumatic, ahem, diverse experience in the dating realm, it’s not my area of professional expertise. The topic ties in so well with sexual empowerment and empowerment as a whole—particularly for those seeking relationships.
Last week Christina Weber joined me in the studio. The serial entrepreneur’s latest brainchild, Underground Unattached, offers select singles a unique way to connect with likeminded souls. (I’m not even single, and was all, OMG, that sounds so fun!)
So much struck me about our chat, but one thing really stood out. We explored some of the digital age has brought to dating-ville, including this stat:
57% say texting has made it more difficult to determine if a request to go out with someone is a date or not. – Statistic Brain
“Men will text, ‘Hey, wanna hang out?’ or ‘Wanna grab a cup of coffee?’ If two people are single, it’s obvious. It’s a date!” Christina said, adding that if there’s confusion, the woman in a guy/gal scenario should state it—namely because men tend to do more of the asking.
For example, if someone asks you to coffee, you could respond, “Sure, I’d love to have a coffee date.”
I immediately thought of the countless times I hung out with a straight, single man as a straight, single woman. Were some of those dates? Would they have been, had I decided so? I haven’t thought so, but surely there could have been confusion on the guy’s end I was unaware of.
Regardless, I loved the heart of Christina’s message, that communication and clarity are vital—which applies whether we’re dating someone new or in a longterm relationship. We shouldn’t be afraid to speak up or get answers when in doubt. If someone takes a request for clarity as reason to run the opposite direction, they probably aren’t an ideal partner.
Listen to our full chat on iTunes, Stitcher Radio or below, then share your thoughts below.
So, what do you think? Can two singles hang out platonically? What did you think of Christina’s thoughts on common dating mistakes, or why we should add creativity to the mix? What about Dr. Megan’s feedback for a listener who doesn’t want kids, but her beau (now) does? I love hearing from you!
I used to have lots of single male friends when I was single. I think it’s great.
I agree, Marla. I love having pals of all relationship status’ and genders.
I like the advice about communicating with the other person–longtime partner or new friend wanting to “hang out.” If they react badly to your wanting clarity, let them go!
Ditto! Clarity seems to important.
I have reblogged this (linked to it) as my post for today.
It was wonderful. I run into a lot of the same problems you say women have.
I have had women who don’t return calls, are vague on details., and who seem to retreat instead of facing up to what ever is going on.
It is very frustrating to me as a single man out looking.
Scott
As a single gal swimming in the shark infested dating pool, I love this. I’ve always been very leery of getting into commitments and prefer taking things slow in any kind of relationship whether it be friendship, acquaintance or dating. Because of this, I am very upfront and blatant when it comes to my intentions or lack thereof with a man and I thought that men would respond well to this given they are stereo-typically subversive to commitment but I’ve noticed they still try to play the… vague dating game. They’re vague about how they feel about you and of their intentions.
Good for you! Vagueness doesn’t help anyone, especially in the realm of intimacy. You definitely deserve someone who’ll communicate clearly.
It helps to be clear upfront, don’t you think?
Otherwise the so-called ‘friendzone’ appears.