In this week’s Girl Boner Radio episode, you’ll learn about skin-gasms and five ways to tantalize a lover’s skin. And yes, that person could be you!
Stream it on Apple Podcasts/iTunes, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Spotify or below. Or read on for a lightly edited transcript.
“5 Ways to Tantalize a Lover’s Skin”
a lightly edited Girl Boner Radio transcript
What do you think a skin-gasm is? Don’t google it! I want to know what immediately jumps to mind.
I asked my email list this question recently. Here are a few of their real responses:
“Orgasming from touching of the skin, without touching the genitals.”
“The sensation of all those beautiful nerves releasing such sensations, similar to an orgasm.”
“I think a sneeze is a skin gasm?”
“A skin ripple more like butterflies at play. It gets to the heart and soul of the matter.”
Like butterflies at play – that’s so sweet. And those guesses were all great, but not quite spot on. Here’s the correct answer:
A skin-gasm is a rush of chills or goosebumps on your skin–often on your arms or up your spine. You might experience one while listening to music, during a dramatic swell or change in a song. [ethereal music builds] That’s apparently the most common way the skin is aroused, in such a way. But a skin-gasm might also happen when you’re taking in a compelling painting or an emotional scene in a movie.
I experience skin-gasms so often—like I’m kind of surprised my skin isn’t permanently shaped that way–and pretty always, talking is involved. I noticed this many times while watching the final season of This is Us, for example (my gosh, please pass the tissues.) But most often, my skin goes schwing, during conversations. Whether I’m hearing others talk or running an interview.
And while sex isn’t mentioned in any article or study I’ve read about skin-gasms, I definitely think there’s a sexual or sensual component. As I’ve mentioned before, I believe our sexuality goes far beyond actual sex. When we’re turned on in our lives, our sexuality plays a part in that—and benefits. And arousal isn’t limited to genitals. Our minds play the biggest role in turn-on and pleasure after all, whether we want to get busy or not.
Given that the skin is our largest organ, and really the largest sexual organ, I thought I would share a few tips for tantalizing it—whether we want skin-gasms or to work our way toward Big Os of other kinds.
I should point out, by the way, that “skin-gasm” isn’t the most technical term for those turned-on chills. Shocking, I know. Skin orgasms are also known as “frisson,” the French word for “aesthetic chills” or a shutter.
So here are 5 ways to tantalize a lover’s skin during sex
As a side note, you can absolutely work these steps into solo sex or self-pleasure, too, by the way—or share this episode with a partner as a wish list. In other words, the lover can be you.
1. Graze your fingers over their stomach
Journalist Mina Adozi wrote an article for Cosmo, inspired by several books, that explores ways to “thrill every inch” of your lover. In it, she suggests stroking your partner’s abdomen with your fingers. It’ll be more shiver-producing, she noted, if you stroke upward toward the chest or nipples.
After that, Adozi says to start tracing your tongue along the base of your partner’s hips, angling down toward the pelvis. Nerve endings there lead to the clitoris and penis—in other words, get ready for some “sensual aftershocks.” [feminine voice, “ahhhh…”]
2. Try temperature play
Temperature play is what it sounds like, playing with different temperatures – warm/hot, cool/cold, or alternating between cool and warm – in sensual ways.
Some people find the feel of an ice cube on their skin really sexy and enticing. Others prefer something warm. For that, you could dunk a sex toy or your fingers in warm water, or play in a sudsy bath. [bath splash]
I also love glass dildos for temperature play. The glass takes on the temperature of whatever you dip it in, including your body. It can heat up as you do.
3. Give a sensual massage
Stick to back rubs or let your hands wander, IYKWIM. You could work in a massage candle, carefully – don’t just use any old candle please.
The Pleasure Chest has some great options. My personal favorite is their own Melting Body Candle Collection. They’re made of body-safe soy, coconut and olive oils and smell so good. The lavender one may be perfect if you’ve been feeling tense or stressed. The French vanilla one is like…skin dessert.
You literally light the candle, then use the melted wax as massage oil. As a bonus, candlelight is wildly flattering, making it a great choice if you or a partner is feeling a bit self conscious body-wise…or if you just want some romantic ambiance.
4. Listen to skin-gasmic music
If you want to make this spicier, listen to music naked, side by side on a bed or slow dancing, wrapped up in each other’s arms, while you listen. If you’d like, work a feather into your play–lightly tracing it over your partner’s skin.
A BBC article by David Robson explored skin orgasms and listed these three songs as potentially good picks for inducing chills:
Adele’s “Someone Like You”
“Wonderwall,” by Oasis
…and Rachmaninov’s “Piano Concerto No. 2”
[piano music in Rachmaninov style]
5. Lube things up!
Hopefully you use a good quality lubricant regularly regardless, during sex. When you want to focus on skin bliss, there is little better means. A few of my favorite brands are UberLube, Sliquid and Wicked Sensual Care.
Apply lube to your fingers and play away, or lightly coat a toy before playing with it. Use lube to slide a condom on with more ease and pleasure and for more delightful penetration.
Sexologist Jess O’Reilly shared this skin-loving tip with Women’s Health: “Use lube to trace figure eights over their thighs. Or…massage their inner legs before going down on them.”
For a fun and easy way to bring these ideas up to a partner, plus more skin-enticing ideas, join my community at Patreon.com/girlboner. I put together a fun Yes, No, Maybe list just for you all.
So, what do you think? Any skin-gasms in your midst yet?
Have you noticed a link between what turns you, and your skin, on – and leading a fulfilling life? If so, I would love to hear from you.
Comment in my private community on Patreon, or submit a story or question of your own to be considered for an episode through my website: augustmclaughlin.com.
Big thanks to voice artist, Rosa Delgado, for bringing listener’s responses to life for this episode. And to The Pleasure Chest, for their ongoing support. Don’t forget to shop your heart – and your Boner out – at thepleasurechest.com.
And, if you’re enjoying Girl Boner Radio, I would so appreciate a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or the iTunes Store — and if you’d share links with your friends. You can also support the show, and get fun extras, by joining my community at Patreon.com/girlboner.
Thanks so much for listening (or reading!).
[outro music that makes you wanna dance…]
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