So I, er, I mean a random blonde went to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. Here’s what went down:
Blonde: May I have 50 Christmas stamps?
Clerk: What denomination?
Blonde: Oh my God! Has it come to this? Fine. Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian and 32 Baptist.
Laughing yet? I hope so, because laughter is good for your heart—literally. A study conducted at the University of Maryland Medical Center showed that people with heart disease are 40 percent less likely to laugh with ease. Research has also linked laughter with an improved capability to manage stress and fewer instances of stress and anxiety. (Geesh… Sign me up!)
I’ve always admired people who guffaw at just about anything or find hilarity in popular comedies I find treacherous to sit through. But just when I suspect I lack some funny bones, something comes along and strikes me as FUUUUU—NNY. I start laughing and can’t stop until tears pool in my eyes, my belly aches and my bladder control grows questionable. Y’all kept me laughing through my Naughty & Nice fun. I figured it was time to reciprocate.
Recently, this was my HAHA inspiration:
HAAAAAA!!!!!!! See what I MEAN??? This hat isn’t only hilarious, but so darn useful. A few potential uses, off the top of my HEAD. LOL! (*slinking down* Okay, not as funny.)
With a turkey hat, you can:
1. …bring light to a serious situation. Imagine, you’re sitting at a table full of relatives who have as much in common as lightbulbs and kumquats. The silence is so thick, you fear breathing. You bust out this bad boy and every straight lip curves upward, or opens wide to LOL.
2. …make a statement for animal rights. (For added power, carry a sign: “You think eating animals looks goofy?”)
3. …start a fashion trend. (Hey, if Zubaz could do it…)
4. …keep your as head as warm stuffing.
5. …make others fear they’ve gone crazy. (“What do you mean, what’s on my head?”)
6 …eat herb-seasoned bread bits to your heart’s desire.
7. …play the “put this on your head game.”
8. …top off your turkey dinner Halloween costume.
9. …give the gift of laughter to everyone on your list. Think about it: Christians, Jews and atheists may disagree on certain points, but they ALL have heads. They also either eat or avoid chicken. You simply can’t go wrong. (Since the hat isn’t edible, no worries on whether it’s kosher.)
10. …create holiday memories to last a lifetime. (Yep, planning on this myself.)
***** All this for only $10.99 $6.49 at Amazon! ;)*****
Whether you have no trouble seeing the light in grim situations and laugh out loud at everyday scenarios, say, turkey hat wearing, or can’t recall the last time you chuckled, I hope you get a kick out of these fabulous links. I know I did.
Lucy Writes a Novel, by M.G. Miller: A hilarious walk down the slush-pile memory lane.
Funny Christmas Cookies, featured by In Erika’s Kitchen: Darth Vador, Bacon & Eggs and Kim Kardashian’s behind. (Need I say more?)
Urban Word Wednesday: Manolescent, by Natalie Hartford: Natalie’s weekly word series never fails in making me laugh.
For the Golfer in Your Life: The Potty Putter (Yes, You Read That Correctly), by Natalie Hartford: The photo alone is giggle-worthy.
When Words Fail, Eat More Friggin’ Pudding, by Coleen Patrick: When lyrics go wrong, laughter goes right.
Fifty-Six of the Best (or Worst) Similies Ever Written, featured by The Journal Pulp: Also the funniest similies!
Are You Sexy and You Know It? LMAFO You Are!, by Tameri Etherton: If you’ve ever wondered when togs become underwear…
The Grinch is Pregnant, by Myndi Shafer: Myndi makes such a great case, she could be a lawyer by day, standup comic by night.
Great Expectations, by Kristen Lamb: Why a little boy dug through horse poo with glee (and you should, too).
Author Marc Shuster referred me to clip and it’s been popping into my head routinely since. Even if you’ve seen the entire film, this scene is precious as a stand-alone:
Now, if we could just get Buddy to don a turkey hat…
Speaking of which, I have a Naughty & Nice challenge for y’all. Order your own turkey hat and take photos or video of you wearing it. (No Photoshop allowed, you non-GGs!) If five of you do so and blog about it, I’ll sport mine in public and share the embarrassment goofy awesomeness in a post.
In the meantime, I love hearing from you. Are you an easy laugher? What’s your personal “turkey hat?” How many of the real deal are you purchasing today?
Awesome name for a mash up. I do kinda want to buy that turkey hat. Hats are a great funny gift. I got a dinosaur hat for my birthday from a friend. I wear it when I watch Terra Nova. Oh yah, I’m awesome! LOL.
You ARE awesome, Jess! Love that you pair hat hilarity with films.
Hmm… *pondering films starring turkeys*
Thanks so much for the FAB shout out. Glad my digs give you the occassional chuckle. I loved your opening joke AND the hat. I could get some real use out of that when out snowmobiling or ATVing. LOL!!! Wonderful line up. I am off to check em’ out!
Now THAT is a visual worth seeing, Natalie. Don’t be surprised if some wild turkeys get massive crushes and follow you through the snow drifts… If they do, please pause for photos!
That’s one of my fave Elf clips–I also love the one where he gets on the escalator for the first time
Thanks so much for the shout out!!
I will think about the turkey hat–the idea is intriguing . . .
My turkey hat is a cheap fedora hat that might as well have been a turkey hat, judging by the stares and the “weirdo” mumblings I hear.
I love it when I laugh so hard I cry!! Laughter is truly the best medicine! And my favorite use for that turkey hat from your list…”to keep your head as warm as stuffing.” Too funny!!
I don’t have a turkey hat, but I once got in so much trouble at school for telling another kid to “Freeze, Jive Turkey!” But hey, Angie Dickinson said it on ‘Police Woman’, for cryin’ out loud. Thanks for bashing my blog
Ha! My pleasure. Your school trouble could’ve made your N/N list, MG. Would love to hear the whole story! *hint hint*
That is one interesting hat, August! I got nothin’ after seeing that!
What? No Methodist denomination?
Whoops! *rushing back to P.O.* (er, SHE is…)
Great hat and funny blonde joke. Thanks for the great mashup, August.
I knew there was a reason that I’m not a hat person! Great links, I’ll have to check them out.
Well, since I just ordered that silly potty putter, I guess a turkey hat is in order as well. Now here’s a visual for you ~ I’ll wear the turkey hat while using the potty putter! Oh, yeah, I’ll be styling in my powder room.
Thanks for including me in your hilarious mash up! That blonde joke got me going and it was all hilarity from there on. Look for pics of my fab turkey hat in a future blog post (I’ll tweet ya just to make sure you see it). This is so fun!
Can’t WAIT, Tameri! I’ll frame it and place it beside Natalie the snowmobiling Turkey head. Gobble-fest, here we come!
thanks for the great mashup, August. I won’t be buying the turkey hat – totally not my style…LOL
In many people’s eyes, that’s a GREAT thing, Louise! LOL I’ll wear mine extra long in your honor.
That turkey hat is a crackup. What a fun post, and thanks for all the links. I’ve read some of them and they’re mighty funny. I love to laugh and am easily amused, so I won’t worry about the high blood pressure anymore. A fun game to play to have lots of laughs is Balderdash. It’s especially perfect for writers, with our wild, crazy imaginations. We raised our kids playing this game. They’re all grown, and we still love to play it and will teach the grandkids when they’re old enough. LOL!
Thanks, Lynn! I’m not sure I’ve ever played Balderdash. Wonder if it’s more fun with poultry on one’s head… (Yes, a bit delirious already. ;)) I’ll definitely check it out.
Glad to hear you laugh lots! A gift to you and your kin.
I’m getting it – the turkey hat, I mean. I have a statue of a beautiful woman in front of my house. In summer she wears a crown of flowers. For Christmas she’s got Santa hat. During Halloween season, she sports a black witch’s hat. And I never had anything suitable for Thanksgiving, hah!
Ah, another fabulous use! I LOVE that you dress your statue. She’ll no doubt shine beneath poultry.
One of the hosts on the Macy’s parade had that hat – daughter and I couldn’t tell what it was at first but once we figured it out we were LOL! I’ll have to skip it though- most hats give me a headache.
Oh dear…I’m afraid I’ve spent all my money on THIS hat. http://www.spencersonline.com/product/el-giant-santa-madhatter/
which I thought would cover Christmas, National Pimp Day AND Elton John appreciation day all at the same time.
gosh darnit any way. maybe the turkey hat next year.
Ha! I love it. You definitely addressed the holiday triad with smarts and wit!
Hope you’ll post photos as you strut your big-hat stuff.
Awesome mash-up, and as the brunt of many blonde jokes, love the opener!
Great mash up of fun posts! Thanks for sharing~
Sorry August, I’m a veggie and I can’t do the hat! I tried a carrot one but it just doesn’t have the same impact.
The wild turkeys that run passed the rear of our house weren’t that amused either – they’re going into hiding till the 26th.
Cheers!
That turkey hat freaks me out!
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