Most guys I date assume I want anal. Is that because of porn?
My boyfriend thought I wanted BDSM, because that’s what he watches to masturbate… It scared me.
A man I’m dating freaked out when he saw that I have pubic hair.
I only reach orgasm when I’m playing with myself to porn…never with my boyfriend.
These clips from messages I frequently receive from women say a lot. In a culture and education system where folks learn extremely little about sex and sexuality, countless turn to porn—not only for convenient stimulation, but for knowledge.
The problem is, most porn is not intended as education. We don’t see sexual intimacy on the screen, per say, but a sexual performance—two very different things.
Can porn enhance relationships? Sure! It does for many. But it can also become problematic if you let it guide your expectations.
Knowing the difference between sex on the screen versus IRL can go a long way toward preventing potential downsides while making way for spectacular sex and intimacy. (Woot! Who doesn’t want that?)
Yesterday on Girl Boner® Radio I sat down with Jayden Lee, an exotic porn star who has lots to say on this subject. I loved how openly and honestly she spoke about her career and personal life (her sex life varies hugely from her on-camera scenes). She debunked several common myths and offered strengthening takeaways—including the importance of not assuming a lover wants X, Y or Z, and recognizing that your body is sacred.
You’ll also hear how Jayden became involved in adult film, her thoughts on phone sex and Dr. Megan Fleming‘s advice for a listener who doesn’t enjoy giving oral. Loved her tips!
Listen to the episode on iTunes, Stitcher Radio or here:
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This was quite interesting and educational, August. Thanks for another wonderful show! I wish I could be there once with you. Hehehehe.
I’m so glad you enjoyed it, AJ! Huge thanks for listening.
How fun would that be??? #LifeStudioAudience
Yaaaaaa thats really good of you that you are sharing this stories with us but often I get one question and I am little embarrassed to ask this one do you think that porn star enjoy sex while working?
That’s a great question, Kathy! Many of the porn stars I’ve interviewed find the work really fulfilling and pleasurable. I’ll make a note to ask my next adult star guest for you.