Hi loves! I hope you’ve had beautiful holidays, no matter how you’ve spent them. I’m on my way back from Minne-snow-ta, where freezing fun was had by all. ;)
As we head into 2018, I thought I’d share quotes from my latest Girl Boner Radio guests, Erin Tillman and Rayne Parvis, and Girl Boner’s resident sex and relationship expert Dr. Megan Fleming.
The episode was a TON of fun. (Stream it down below or click here for other listening options.) We played adult-style Q&A games, covering everything from romantic memories and hilarious dating experiences to the more serious topics of authenticity and practicing consent. I asked each of these fabulous women to share thoughts related to their expertise for anyone who’d like to set empowering aims for the coming year. Read on for highlights!
Erin Tillman, inclusive dating empowerment coach:
“The main thing I would say for anyone who’s single, going into 2018 and beyond, is do what you can to be a better person. Be your authentic self. What can you do to boost your self-confidence going into the new year?
Come into dating someone new with active goals, being really confident about who you are. Be really clear about what you’re looking for and who you are in terms of identity. Those things are really going to make a difference going into the dating process.
I can’t tell you how many people I’ve worked with in workshops or chat with in the streets who are like, ‘I don’t know what I want.’ There’s no focus or direction. Usually you’ll attract who you are, so if there’s no focus or direction — and not that you can’t meet nice people, because you can — but be really clear in the process in terms of weeding people out who aren’t in alignment with you.”
Rayne Parvis, personal stylist and media personality:
“I would probably say we all have to find our six. I’m not about rating people but we all have our sixes, our sevens, our eights, our nines, our tens — meaning if your ten is going full on formal, full gown and formal makeup, your one could mean you haven’t had a shower in two days, your armpit hair is long and you haven’t shaved around your vagina.
I like to say to my clients and myself, find your six and try not to go out in public in anything less than your six. Sometimes you’re just going to be jeans and a sweater, but this goes for everything. [Erin] was just saying you have to know who you are and you have to attract that. So if you want to find better friends, if you’re going out in a dirty shirt and sweatpants and not putting yourself together, you are not going to attract that better friend that brings you up versus brings you down. So find your six. You can always find your version of a seven, eight, nine and ten, but anything less than a six you’re just going to feel bad about yourself and you’re not going to be in a great mindset.”
Megan Fleming PhD, sex and relationship therapist:
Stream the full episode on iTunes, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Stitcher Radio or here:
Thanks for having me on! Love your energy!