I adore my clitoris, now that I know what and where it is.
Professor Olga Rockenstein stood before the Psychology of Female Sexuality, staring at us with bulldog-intense eyes. “Women know too little about their bodies,” she said. “Do you know how many don’t even know where their clitoris is?”
As her gaze caught mine, my expression read: “You’re kidding me!” What I really thought: My what?
The word sounded familiar, but I was 20, and too much time had passed since high school health class. When she called it the “pleasure button,” I assumed it was the area inside the vagina that lights up and explodes, triggering uncontrollable delight and making the entire world disappear, during orgasm. (Sigh…)
I wasn’t even close. When I learned its actual location, between the inner folds of the vulva, at the top of the labia (diagram here), I wondered if mine was broken. When I or my boyfriend touched mine, I felt…ticklish. Really ticklish, as in it nearly hurt.
If you relate to this, I suggest not Googling “sensitive clitoris,” unless you want nightmares and psychosomatic symptoms and of a clitoris-clobbering disease. Chances are, there’s nothing wrong with you. (If you suspect an illness, though, definitely consult your doctor.) Regardless, all clitorises are sensitive, and as lovely as the flowers they’re named after:
Fab Facts About Clitoral Sensitivity
♥ A highly sensitive clitoris is usually just that—an organ so sensitive that mild touch can cause sensation overload. It’s more common among people with increased overall sensitivity, from what I’ve gathered, and in women prone to G-spot orgasms.
♥ You know how penises get incredibly sensitive post-ejaculation? Well, the clitoris is comparable to the head of the penis, only it’s smaller and has many more nerve endings—about 7,000. (So guys, imagine that sensation, multiplied by about 200.)
♥ If your clitoris has typical sensitivity, touching, kissing, licking and sucking probably feel DAMN good, and make way for climax. Clitoral orgasm is the most common and easiest to achieve, according to sexuality expert, Dr. Laura Berman.
♥ If yours is highly sensitive, you probably prefer gentler touching or pressure, on or around your clitoris. Vaginal (aka, G-spot) orgasms are likely to be your numero uno. In blended orgasms, we come in both places—YEE HA!
**It’s important to note that one type of orgasm is not superior or ideal. Our sexuality is unique, and we should all feel great about our personal style and preferences.
There’s also no “right” way to engage or enjoy our joy buttons. The key is knowing how our own works, and communicating with our partners, as needed.
Learn more about the clitoris on Girl Boner® Radio here: The Highly Sensitive Clitoris
#ClitParty: A Pleasure Button Clit-ebration!
Earlier this month, Clitoraid, a Las Vegas-based group namely devoted to helping victims of female genital mutilation, hosted the first ever International Clitoris Awareness Week. When a few of my sassy, Girl Boner-loving friends, and I learned of it, we decided to throw a party. And guess what. You’re all invited! Actually, you’re already here. SURPRISE!
I know—a rather clinical party piece, but I happen to LOVE chatting about clitoral quirks at parties. Consider this segment the #GirlBoner geek in the room, and check out the following blogs later today, some of which will be slightly more steamy:
- Kitt Crescendo: Project Cliteracy
- Angela Tavares, via Go Deeper Press: Where Were You The First Time You Found Your Clitoris?
- Bring Back Desire: Celebrating the Clitoris
- Lana Fox, via Go Deeper Press: Freud’s Big Clitoral Snake
- Yolanda Shoshana: Cheers to the Clit
You can also join us today on Twitter, using the hashtag #ClitParty. For a chance to WIN an erotic book from Go Deeper Press or a 30-minute clairvoyant reading with Goddess Isis Oracle (via Skype or phone), Tweet us about your clitoris: What you love about it, what you’d say to it, your nickname for it—whatever!—using the hashtag #ClitParty. For even MORE fun, join me on the Girl Boner Facebook page.
Prizes will be awarded for the most retweets and/or favorites, with extra points given for creativity. (Pssst! Guys can enter, too! Talk about a romantic gesture—tweeting about your sweetheart’s clit.;))
Will you be partying with us today? What have you learned about your clitoris? Is yours hypersensitive? I just LOVE your respectful thoughts.
Woot! My favorite topic and body part(s). So many blogs to hop.
Facebook, Twitter Parties…
I’ll be all a-clitter by the time this day ends. IYKWIM.
And, to prove I don’t yet know all there is to know:
In my research, I read that the clitoris actually refers to an extended area from the inside of the inner labia into the vagina and that magic G-spot. Do I need more research? And, yes. I DO know where that magic clitoral button is located.
Only a small portion of the clitoris actually shows from the outside, Gloria, so the “button” generally refers to the protruding bit. So glad you know where that is. Yay, you! Hope you enjoy all of today’s festivities.
Andy Lyon’s post, over at Bring Back Desire, has lots of physiological information, by the way.
I had a lot of fun reading this post August. And it’s just as interesting and fun as your posts usually are! There’s “technical” whoops – biological information that I didn’t have before, but my sensations stay the same. And my experiences show:
Having the perfect partner: You can get as many vaginal and “clitorial” orgasms as you want.
Amen to that, Raani! So glad you enjoyed the post – more so that you’re so enjoying your parter.
This made me laugh and that’s not easy to do on a Monday morning before I’ve had my coffee!
Aw. Happy to hear that, Diana! *raises java* Thanks for stopping by.
August, I love your candor. I giggled to myself when you wondered if “it” was broken. Truth is, thinking back to a few of my friends and the questions I’ve been asked over the years, I suspect you weren’t alone. Clicking the mouse when you’re not sure where you’re supposed to click or how hard or how often…can be a little intimidating.
So true, Kitt! I suspect that many of us flibble around, confused… I’ve no doubt that your post will click with quite a few folks—female and male.
I think most of ours will. At least I hope so.
LOVE this post August! Know Thy Clit should be taught… somewhere! Just like us Goddesses, our clits are uniquely made and highly complex. It takes time and lots of “exploration” to find out what works best… yum!
Viva la Clitoris!
Love & MUAH!
Your #ClitParty blog hoppin’ pal,
Ande
Yes, and you should be one of the Goddesses teaching it! Thanks so much for the support, Ande, and for your FABULOUS post! Today’s a fun day. #ClitParty on!
My only question is this: Why do some women faint during orgasm? That always scared the hell out of me until I felt a pulse and saw that they were still breathing. Now I’ll step back and let you that are thusly blessed hash it out.
I’ll be in the bar.
That’s a great question and topic, which I’ll be happy to address. In the meantime, Columbia University offers useful insight here. Bottom’s up!
Checked it out, very interesting. Thanks August
My God! Bullet Item No. 1 under your Fab Facts has made me so delighted and so surprised, since I’ve never seen this info relayed before. Best bit? I have a new summer project! Thank you, August!
Yay! I’m so happy to hear that, Angela. Have FUN with it! (Guessing you will. ;))
JOY! Love this post! I know I’ve mentioned I performed in The Vagina Monologues 4 years. And one of my favorite pieces that I read was The Vagina Workshop. It’s a British woman going to a workshop to learn about her vagina and clitoris – which she can’t find at first and she panics. “It’s gone! It’s gone! I’ve lost my clitoris! I shouldn’t have worn it swimming!”
That’s what you reminded me of. Thanks for the laugh!
LOL I so need to read or see that play again, Jess. I don’t recall that one at all, and it sounds priceless! Thanks for the awesome support. You’re such a bright light.
August! Love this post! I really love the knowledge you share — am finding that with all the #ClitParty posts today. Just awesome! xoxo
It’s been so much fun! Thanks for joining us, Lana. I loved your post, and am really glad that we’ve connected.
This is awesome:) need to show this to my boytoy, who apparently dated a less sensitive clit before me:)
Aw. Go, Elle! Sometimes we all need a little guidance.
I had NO IDEA that today was a ClitParty day! Next time, I hope you give me a special shout…I’ll get a post rolling. I think I missed your original announcement due to vacation and flu.
Fun post, August!!
Aw. Thanks, Jenny! I’ll drop you a note well in advance next time around. We’ve extended the Twitter contest portion another day, so feel free to Tweet your clitoris a love note. Hope you’re feeling lots better!
I know this is a woman’s area and, basically, post, but I have no fear where you are concerned! I can’t very well tell you about my first time when I found “it”, but I will allude to the fact that the first time I did, there were two of us who knew!
Scott
I’m flattered to hear that, Scott! I want everyone to feel comfortable sharing here. Finding “it” usually isn’t a subtle happening – ha. Glad you did!
No, not subtle.
Hmm…I just turned into a total coward, so I’ll just say great post.
It’s my best friend by far.
Yes, it’s my best friend as well. We go way back, in fact, and it’s something of a hot-button issue with me. I homed in on it early and never had any real difficulty finding it — or, not that I can recall, anyway — drawn to her rather like a bee to honey. So it seems retrospectively.
What do I like most about the clitoris? Well, it’s a nearly impenetrable subject. I like that she changes color when engorged, elusive yet conspicuous. As I’ve mentioned before — and perhaps can never mention enough — one of the best pieces (of advice) I was ever given was from a lovely girl whom I used to run around with many years ago:
Don’t stampede the clitoris. Don’t neglect the labia.
Just incidentally, did you know there’s a budding genre of literature — one I’m doing my level best to propagate — called “Clit Lit”? It was my strongest subject in college, the only one I didn’t get an F in.
The vagina, the vulva, the anus — they’re all but a footnote to the clitoris, aren’t they?
Hello! I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet you last night, but I do remember thinking, ‘Who is that beautiful lady!’ Then I saw your tweet about #WorldSexualHealthDay along with Dr. Sara’s and found your blog! Here’s an article I wrote, all about the newest research on the clitoris!!! Thought you would enjoy. Please share as much as possible, as the more women who know about it, the better! xoxo, Ms. M.
blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/
Thanks so much for stopping by and for your lovely note! Your site is lovely – I’ll definitely pass the word.
I’m with you 100%–there can’t be enough posts on such topics. Stay well and in touch.
Reblogged this on The Sexy Cynics.
Seriously. That was a really good post! It kind of makes me glad that I’ve been single for so long. I honestly masturbate, a lot. I know how to please my self…. But sometimes I wonder if I could actually communicate my needs to my future partner… I am a highly sensitive one and the pressure required can vary ALOT and spontaneously too.
Anyway, just, great post!
So glad you enjoyed it, Lindsey! Good for you for embracing self-sexual pleasure.
That communication you mentioned is pretty vital, and proves challenging for many. The fact that you recognize your needs and desires can go a long way toward helping. Best of luck!
the female thread-opener is writing nonsense. Like the most women, she think our most pleasure we men have also in our glanses, like the women. But we have much more nerves inside our foreskins, if we are not circumsized like moslem,s, jewish or us-american men.
Here we have more nerves than the clit.
Try new ways to touch her vagina. She might take longer than you to reach her orgasm, but don’t worry, there is a positive side to it.
That part that said ‘the clit is really ticklish, almost painful’ made me go – YES! THIS!!
It’s what I had been googling all over to find out about. No matter what has been tried my clit is just too sensitive for any stimulus, too painful! Seeing as all sex toys, erotica, sex tips, porn etc all focus on foreplay with the clit and stimulating the clit I thought I was some kind of alien (joking)! As far as I can remember it’s just too much, and I have definitely never had a clitoral orgasm! It’s been confusing me for years, some of my partners trying with it (cause you know that’s normally no.1 sex tip for sex with a woman) and I just want it to stop!
So thank you for helping me find that I am still normal, just highly sensitive!
Is there an STD or STI or some other ailment/conditions that can cause a clitoris to become extra sensitive suddenly and fpt am extended period of time as a woman gets older (40) ???
There are some STIs that cause clitoral pain. I realize your comment is from a while back (apologies for missing it!), but if you’ve noticed that, it’s always smart to get tested. Other factors can play into clitoral sensitivity, too.