In a recent Cosmo study, involving over 2,500 women, 77 percent of participants reported preferring penetrative sex that lasts more than 10 ten minutes. One in five of the women preferred longer than 25 minutes and over 20 percent prefer “quickie” style sex, lasting less than ten minutes.
According to a 2008 survey of sex therapists, sex is “too short” when it lasts one to two minutes, potentially “adequate” at three to seven minutes, and often “desirable” at seven to 13 minutes. The range for “too long” went up higher, to 30 minutes-plus.
Other research on how long sex lasts, which I agree with, revealed—DRUM ROLL, PLEASE—it totally depends. (How you even define “sex” makes a big difference, too, but that’s a topic for another day.)
I personally believe that quality and variety are key for a gratifying sex life and that all of us who enjoy sex can benefit from quickies and, er, longies.
🎉 This post is part of a brand new Girl Boner Radio series, Girl Boner Quickies! Bite-size episodes I’ll release between my standard longer-form interviews shows. If you’d prefer to listen to this content, do so here:
Benefits of Quickies
Because they take less time, quickies can allow us to have sexy fun and feel more connected to a partner amid a hectic schedule.
Quickies are also more fun than hitting the snooze button for more shut-eye, IMO. If you prefer coffee, a shower or teeth-brushing first, welcome those, too.
And quickies can be smoldering-hot! Think of how many films and TV shows feature the romantic leads hiding away in an elevator, the copy room, the bathroom or a closet for quick, heated passion.
Because life doesn’t always (ever?) match up with TV magic, here are a few tips for hotter quickies:
1 – Prioritize quickie solo play sessions first. You’ll be a lot more likely to enjoy quick sex with a partner, if you know what you enjoy most on your own.
2 – Keep fun accessories such as lube and toys nearby for easy grabbing. (And extra fun grabbing.) Toys and lube can make sex more pleasurable and speed up arousal.
3 – Schedule your quickies. This builds anticipation, which is super hot. It also helps keep sexual pleasure and connection a priority.
4 – Start your foreplay early on — on your own. By that I mean, find ways to turn yourself on leading up the your quickie. Listen to an erotic book or podcast, for example, or put on a discreet, wearable sex toy, such as vibrating panties, hours beforehand.
5 – Lastly, keep a journal. Jot down your thoughts, memories or goals about quickies. Journaling provides an awesome way to explore our sexual desires and reflect on them, which can bring about some awesome growth. You can also pre-order my next book, Girl Boner Journal, on Amazon. It includes guided exercises about quickies, longies and much more.
So…was that good for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Drop me a note below or via my contact tab. You can also hit subscribe in your favorite podcast app to make sure you never miss a Girl Boner Radio beat. Stay tuned for another Girl Boner quickie soon! 🙌🏾
I tend to suffer a lot from the effects that high blood pressure, diabetes, and out of shape have on my erections (ie. usually not).
I have gathered a number of ideas and toys on how to overcome this in sex and help my partner truly enjoy the experience (which helps me as well).
However, so many women seem to think that without a huge erect penis, sex cannot happen. I disagree as I love oral sex and have a penis sheath that stays erect and is long enough for any woman to enjoy.
What do you think?
Scott
I love that you’ve found ways to enjoy more pleasure, Scott! I 100% agree that there are many ways to do so that don’t involve a large, erect penis. I’ve heard from a bunch of people, including women, who prefer smaller size and/or other activities.