Some sexual escapades are wilder than fiction! I loved speaking with three accomplished romance authors about their own memorable experiences for the latest Girl Boner Radio episode.
Stream it on Apple Podcasts/iTunes, Spotify, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio or below! Or read on for a lightly edited transcript.
“True ‘OMG’ Sex Stories from Romance Authors”
a lightly edited Girl Boner Radio transcript
Sex with a stranger
August (narration):
Sex with a stranger. It’s a common fantasy for understandable reasons. Someone catches your eye in the subway or on the pages of a novel, a scene in a movie, and your mind leaps to what it might be like to rip their clothes off or have them strip you of yours. To tangle together and have mind blowing sex, before you go on with your day, no strings attached.
It can be titillating to think about, or even to talk about. When sex with a random stranger actually happens, the experiences are often fairly lackluster—or at least not as “mind blowing” as you’d anticipated. You don’t know each other’s bodies or what feels good, for one thing. But what if you planned such an experience in advance?
Karina Kennedy is a traveler, romantic book writer and lover of adventure. Back in her early 20s, that adventurousness was very much a part of her sex life. At the time she was using two or three dating sites to meet different people and have as many romantic escapades as she could.
One day, she received a message from a man with an offer.
Karina:
He direct messaged me and said, “Hey, you look beautiful. You look, you know, adventurous.” I think I had some stuff in my bio about, you know, feeling adventurous. And he said:
“I’ve always had this fantasy of meeting and making love to a woman that I’ve never spoken to…I’m inviting you to my apartment, we’ll have a drink, we’ll make love. And then that will be it. And here’s what it would look like. Are you game?”
And, of course, it totally threw me for a loop. And I was like, Oh, I don’t know…it seems a little creepy at first, but then it kind of sat in the back of my head. It kind of stayed there, and I thought, hmm.
August (narration):
This was interesting, she thought, because they didn’t know anything about each other. They wouldn’t have the 2-hour, drinks-in-a-bar prerequisite that one night stands often have. They didn’t even know each other’s names.
But Karina couldn’t shake the idea. She told me she started to sense the “intense and strange freedom” that comes along with anynoymity—sex without any story or baggage around you. She was…intrigued.
So after –
Karina:
Talking to girlfriends about my crazies is, you know, am I gonna be chopped up in little pieces and you’ll never, never going to see me again. If you don’t hear from me by like, an hour and a half later, you know, this is where you come and look for me.
August (narration):
So with only that backup safety plan with friends and a photo of the guy’s STI status that she had requested in advance, she decided to go for it.
Karina:
I just put on my sexy black dress and showed up at his apartment.
I was so nervous. And, in fact, even up to like knocking on his door. My heart was pounding as I got into the elevator of his apartment building and walked to his door. And I remember like looking at my hand as it was about to knock and like it’s one of those moments—are you really going to do this?
August (narration):
She went ahead and knocked on the door.
[several knocks on a wooden door]
Karina:
And he opened it. And we didn’t say a word to each other. He offered me a drink. It was kind of like a scene in a movie, honestly, like a silent sexy movie.
My heart was pounding even as I came into the room. And, you know, he looked like he did in his pictures, and –
August (narration):
She said he seemed open, gracious and non-threatening. She quickly shifted from nervous and excited, to only excited. They started kissing, then went up to his loft-style bedroom. There, she said, they made love.
Karina:
And it was really great because I could be like whoever I wanted. He didn’t know who I was. He was never gonna know who I was because it was sort of this unspoken idea that we were going to go about our lives after this. Clearly, he wasn’t looking for a long term relationship or he wouldn’t have approached me in this way. So, you know, this was just going to be our hours together.
August (narration):
And it could be whatever it was going to be. So she really went for it.
Karina:
…you know, did a striptease and really felt free to throw myself into that sexual encounter in ways that I just don’t think I had before.
August (narration):
She wore old fashioned garter belt, the kind with straps that attach to knee-high panty – sort of”World War 2” style, she said, with a pinstripe down the back.
Karina:
I took my time, unsnapping one and unsnapping the other and slowly taking it off. And he really enjoyed it. You know, I think that he was having fun. We were having fun with it. And, you know, I eventually eased onto the bed and started kissing him and then climbed on top of him.
And I think from what I remember, I remember feeling like I was kind of leading the dance, so to speak, which I’m sure he was doing intentionally so that I would be comfortable. And also he was enjoying my confidence and the freedom in what we were experiencing together. So I remember being on top most of the time and then I think he flipped me over at one point.
I do remember being impressed with stamina. And stamina was pretty good. And so it lasted a while and I was pretty, you know happy about that. I myself was a very practiced, very practiced multiple orgasm queen at that point. So you know, it was great.
August (narration):
And after they were finished, and their vow of not speaking was over, she said they chatted like comfortable, casual friends.
Karina:
…even though we didn’t know each other, because we’d experienced this thing together, and we did chat. We talked obviously afterward. But we didn’t talk about our personal lives or anything. We just talked to each other in a very comfortable way, sort of post-coital, you know, chat over another drink and then he walked me to my car. And I went home.
August (narration):
Karina knows that this scenario could have played out far differently—and very badly. She trusted her gut, with hopes he was really the decent guy he seemed to be when he reached out.
He was, and she knows that makes her lucky. (In other words, don’t try that at home…or at least take extreme caution if you do.) She told me that looking back, she’s not sure she would feel comfortable supporting a friend’s decision to go on such an adventure. Given how it all played out, though, she’s glad she went for it.
You can find many fictional adventures in Karina’s novels. Her latest is called A Not So Lonely Planet: Italy. She described it as a fun play on the Travel Guide series, Lonely Planet—only a fictionalized, fun and romantic romp through Italy. She said it’s a nice beach read. And while her books are fiction, she said they’re often inspired by her life.
Karina:
I think most of what I’m writing is always sort of – there’s a nut that’s inspired by something personal. But the fun thing about writing is the freedom to sort of extrapolate from there and to get creative. So there’s a lot of adventures that Marina has in the book that were things that happened to me but then they turned out a different way because I got to sort of shape it and create it.
You know, the funny thing is like Marina is a little more throw caution to the winds than I am. And so when I’ve been asked about the book, I always like to try to say, “Okay, well, here’s what Marina would do. And here’s what you really should do. [laughs] Like, here’s, here’s the more safe version of that.”
August (narration):
And here are a few dos and don’ts Karina recommends for anyone who wants to date and meet people while traveling to new places.
Karina:
The first thing is do make friends with that cute local guy or girl traveling on your train and do explore tourist sites together and find quaint little restaurants. But don’t spend the night with him or her until you’re sure whether or not you’re going to wake up alone with no passport or money.
So get a, get a vibe for the person. Spend a couple of days if you’re going to actually connect with a fellow traveler, because you know that person is sort of rootless, like you are for the time being, and you want to make sure you have a very good sort of feeling in your gut before you make yourself vulnerable.
August (narration):
Karina also recommends dating locals who are vouched for by local friends, a tour guide or your travel agent.
Karina:
There’s a little more of a safety blanket there, right?
Do befriend the barista at your favorite local cafe and ask if she has any single friends who may want to show an American girl around town. But don’t get into a vehicle with a complete stranger if you’re alone.
There’s a lot to say for being street smart when you’re traveling and being savvy when you go out. Try the signature drink at this cool locals bar, you know. Dance with, at least once, with anyone who asks, no matter, you know, what they look like or who they are, just be open. But don’t drink too much if you’re alone or you’re with someone that you’ve just met, because you want to make sure that you are making good decisions.
I think at the end of the day, do give people the benefit of the doubt. Connect with an open heart or mind. Don’t be naive. Do have fun and enjoy the moment and let yourself go and create memories. But don’t get too attached if you’re planning to leave.
[upbeat, acoustic music]
August (narration):
Learn more about Karina Kenndy and her books by following her on Instagram, @karinakbooks, and visiting her website: karinakennedybooks.com. There you can find a blog called Wanderlust, which details Marina’s road trip adventures with friends during college.
Angry sex with a (sort of) ex
Of course, not all extraordinary sex experiences involve a stranger. Some stories, such as the one you’re about to hear, are part of the fabric of an off-and-on or long term relationship.
Back in 2010, Wall Street Journal and USA Today bestselling author Nana Malone was working her first public relationships job in New York City. She was young and hadn’t yet gone to grad school or launched her now prolific career writing sexy, feel-good romance.
She told me she hated this job—and, to be fair, she said, she wasn’t great at it. She had thought her days would be filled with writing and crisis management, not the schmoozing and in-office, catty fighting she found herself immersed in.
And those days were long. 16-hours long. One Saturday morning, a day off she desperately needed –
Nana:
I had been called into the office, at like the crack of dawn, to figure something out for one of the other girls that worked there. Take care of it, send messengers around to deal with the stuff.
August (narration):
And then she wouldn’t even get to go to the fun, glamorous event she was doing the prep work for. In short, she was cranky. That’s when her on and off boyfriend of two years called her.
Nana:
So he calls me like, “Hey, I’m actually going to be in New York with some friends. And, you know, we should see each other.” And I was like, but wait!
August (narration):
Wasn’t he supposed to be taking time to “find himself?” That’s what he had told Nana when he shifted them back into the “off” stage they were in, after all. Part of her thought she should decline; but in the end, she couldn’t help herself.
Nana:
I know us. I mean, we had broken up before. And when we were in college. We went to the same college. I knew how these things usually went. I would have mountains of willpower like No, no, this is not going to happen. I’m a strong independent. Oh my God, he’s so cute.
August (narration):
A few hours later, he rang again.
[cell phone buzzing]
Nana:
“Hey, so, um, we’re here,” you know, “we’ve arrived. Do you want to like meet up for, you know, like drinks or something?” And I was like, “Hey, I actually have to finish this thing at work.” And I’ve been there like, half the day already. So it’s like 3pm, and I’m just mad.
August (narration):
Mad that she was called in to work at all, mad that she wouldn’t even get paid for the extra hours.
But at least she was almost done—or, so she thought. So she buzzed Mr. Off and On into the elegant highrise building and she started showing him around.
Nana:
He’s like, “Oh, this is great, you know. Do you like it?” And I was like, Oh, you know, I was trying to be like I’m an awesome, independent [woman], I live in New York. You know, you’re not as cool as I am. Because he had some internship in like North Carolina. I was like, I’m cooler than you. You know when you want to feel like you’re just like badass?
I’m like “This is where I sit.” There are no pictures of him, which is great. [laughs]
August (narration):
And that’s when she found it. A note, from a particularly annoying coworker, who –
Nana:
Literally left me instructions, which meant that she knew that she was going to call me in on Saturday.
When I saw the list, and I’d already like I’m almost done, a big vent was going off while I’d messengered packages. I’d done everything then I see this list. And I was just so mad. Like when I get angry, I start to cry.
August (narration):
She picked up the list and started to shake.
Nana:
And he comes up behind me. He’s like, “What’s the matter?” We’ve been together like on and off for a long time. So he knew me when I was about to blow my top. And so then he just hugs me, pulls me in and I just was like, “I hate this place! I hate it. I hate it so much.”
And, you know, he’s holding me. And, of course, I’m like, Oh, he smells good, and it’s so familiar. So we start to kiss in this office. Of course, in the back of my mind, I was like I should stop this. This is a bad idea.
I was in a mood. I was definitely angry, like, you know, screw these people! But also, I was just like, I needed comfort.
And he was right there. And, of course, super familiar. So then it became like, I was like, You know what? Screw these people!
August (narration):
And…each other? Suddenly Nana was sure of it; they would have sex on her boss’s desk. She started making her moves. He looked at her as if to say, what is happening?
Nana:
He’s like, “Don’t you want to – Like we can go back to your place or back to the hotel? Like the guys are out.” And I’m like, “Nope! Right here.”
August (narration):
From there, Nana said it became like every sex-on-a-desk scene in movies. She threw her clothes everywhere and mounted him right smack on the desk.
Nana:
And I think actually, on the piece of paper.
It was great. I mean I was having a great time, and I felt fantastic.
And then once having sex in the president’s office, he’s like, we should stop. And I was like, no, no no. Because I’d gotten mine. I was like, I had an orgasm. I was like, “Well, we’re not done.” And he’s like, “We’re not?” I’m like, “Nope!”
We finish up and then I hear the elevator open.
[elevator doors opening]
August (narration):
She screamed.
Nana:
“AHH!” Because by now my clothes are in another office. And then I hear like keys jangling, and I’m like, Oh, my god. So we have to basically hide in the president’s office for 30 minutes.
August (narration):
Thirty minutes, naked, they hid in the closet of the president’s office, as the security guard made his rounds. Luckily that door was closed and no lights were on.
Nana:
Standing in there naked and he’s like, the keys are jangling. I was like, “We’re gonna get caught, I’m gonna get so fired. I’m gonna get fired. That’s what’s gonna happen.” And he’s like, “You shut up!” So like, you know, we’re whispering to each other, and then the keys jangle away and I’m like, oh, my god.
So afterwards, get our clothes and, and he looks at me, and he’s like, “So-o-o did you want to get something to eat?” Or? [breaks into laughter]
August (narration):
Actually, she was kind of hungry—and feeling much, much better. Not only had she had some hot rebellion and an orgasm, but she left that dang list undone. They grabbed a bite and Nana went home, feeling fantastic.
Nana:
But then on Monday, when I go back in, the first woman whose office we’d been in, she was like, “Hey, you were here on Saturday, right?” And I said, “Yeah, I was.” And she was like, “Well, I left you a list of things.” And I was like, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see it.” [laughs]
August (narration):
Given how fantastic Nana felt through and after the experience, I asked her if she would recommend sex when you’re angry in general.
Nana:
It’s a great tension reliever. I would advise perhaps not with an ex.[laughs]
Just complicated and like muddy waters so I wouldn’t advise that. But in terms of like a tension reliever, especially like women, the way we carry so much stress, because it’s immediate; you get the rush of endorphins, the serotonin. It really brings your stress levels down and you can think so much more clearly afterwards. [laughs]
August (narration):
Also, you never know where it might lead. Nana’s sex-on-a-desk partner is now her husband.
[upbeat, acoustic music]
August (narration):
Nana Malone now has a career that suits her far better than that PR job. She has written 99 books. If you’re not sure where to start, she recommends beginning with Cheeky Royal, the first in her Winston Isles Royals series. Her stories are known for steamy sexual tension and plenty of laugh-worthy moments.
Nana also runs an awesome campaign and bookclub called Brown Nipple Challenge.
Nana:
It was kind of born out of my frustration of after last summer
August (narration):
It was also inspired by the hashtag #publishingpaidme…
Nana:
Where authors of color were getting significantly less than their non-melanated counterparts for first deals, for ongoing deals.
August (narration)
That frustrated her for multiple reasons. Nana has loved books and reading for as long as she can remember, and she seldom saw herself represented in those stories—”not a speck of brown,” she said. So she has made it her mission, when she became an author, to feature women of color as heroines.
This past year, she launched Brown Nipple Challenge as a book club to celebrate and bring light to lesser known authors of color, introduce them to readers and put money in the authors’ pockets.
Nana:
I wanted to give some love to other women of color who had been doing this and have been writing romance because a lot of people want to say they want to diversify their bookshelves but then they’re like, “oh, but where would I ever find women of color writing romance?” So I started a book club.
August (narration):
To participate as a reader and learn more about Nana’s work, follow her on Instagram @NanaMaloneWriter or visit her website, nanamaloneromance.net.
[upbeat, acoustic music]
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A public flogging
August (narration):
So Skye Warren is the New York Times bestselling author of dangerous romance novels, including Private Property. She told me that for years, she hadn’t realized that romance was a genre for books.
Skye:
Which I didn’t know existed before. I just knew about books in general. And I would go to my Barnes and Noble and I would look through the fiction and literature section. And I would peek at the back to see if I thought it was gonna end happily or not. And I didn’t know there was an entire genre waiting for me. It felt like coming home. It felt like this is the place I was supposed to be.
August (narration):
Before that, she had a history of being in very male-dominated fields. In high school she had a black belt in martial arts. She went on to major in computer science in high school, then worked as a software developer.
Skye:
I thought that that was fine. You know, I was okay with just being like one of the guys.
But when I found romance novels, and the romance community, it just felt so amazing, like a big virtual hug.
August (narration):
When Skye couldn’t find the kind of book she was craving, she started writing them herself. And what didn’t feel quite like a virtual hug was venturing into romance writers’ conferences. Not because she doesn’t love the community—as she said, she does. But crowds of people drain someone with her personality type.
Skye:
I’m an introvert to an extreme level. My husband is the CIO of his company so he interviews only programmers, and he has this one test that he gives them. And I took it, and he said, “I have never seen an introvert score that is as introverted as you.” And he works only with programmers. So I mean, this is extreme.
August (narration):
One day she was invited to do a signing at an erotic romance conference, which is where she had a spicy experience she was not expencting. She figured she would do the signing and sort of hang back and take things in.
Skye:
I was used to being, you know, very quiet, even when I attended events and just like learning and not necessarily being outgoing.
August (narration):
Prior to the conference, she had primarily been to software development events. She said that being in this new environment, where everyone seemed really comfortable and open about their sexuality was new to her. She was in “wonder and awe” the whole time.
She was walking around when she spotted a booth with flogging equipment for sale. One of the items had tiny typewriting keys on it. She told me she “had to have it or [she] would die, basically.”
Skye:
And so then later that night is when they had demonstrations. They were amazing. We were watching this one, and it was incredible.
I’m biracial. And so, again, one of my situations was like not finding myself in books. You know, I was just so impressed with like, Wow! I’m here. But I didn’t necessarily think, Wow, it’s like very predominantly white here. But then when I saw these people, and they were the only people in the demonstration who were people of color, and they were also Asian like me. Also, I just loved their presentation. It was just amazing.
And I remember I turned to my friend, and I was like, “Oh my gosh.” I was so moved. And I said, “I have to write that.” And she was like, “Oh, yeah, yeah…” You know, she was like going through like the names of the equipment that they use. And I’m like, “No, no. Not that at all. Just, just the vibe.”
August (narration):
But what if she were to participate in a demonstration? What if that was the best way to delve into that vibe? So, she stunned herself by volunteering—to be flogged, for the first time ever, in front of a small crowd of people, in public. for anyone who’s not familiar, flogging in the kink and BDSM world involves being consensually beaten or spanked for pleasure.
Skye:
Yeah, I mean, I was holding on to the back of the couch, and I was flogged. And I just remember having a lot of feelings and emotions and really being self-conscious about what was appearing on my face because I was in front of people who – Some people I knew and was good friends with. And some people I didn’t know at all.
August:
Yeah, yeah. That brings a whole new element, like exhibitionism.
Skye:
Yes, I know. I’m not an exhibitionist. Exactly. Because I’m like, the opposite of that.
A flogger, in general, it’s got a handle and these strips of, I guess, leather. And in my case, they were maybe a centimeter wide? The thing about flogging is I was very… Well, I was definitely expecting it to hurt more than it did Because frankly, when I get a deep tissue massage, sometimes that hurts more. I did hear someone say that once, actually, who was in the life say it was like getting a massage. And I was like, that doesn’t seem like it could be real! But it is kind of like that.
Immediately after, I was more aware that everyone was looking at me.
August (narration):
It was also less overall scary than she had been expecting. And while Skye was lucky to be around sex-positive people, she said she still had to work through some shame around “What does it mean about me that I liked that? That I liked being flogged?”
Since then, it’s become a positive memory – something fun that she did and that took some courage. Being flogged has also impacted her writing and given her a firsthand perspective on being spanked.
As a special bonus, here is an excerpt from one of Skye’s books, Survival of the Richest, performed by voice over artist Rosa Delgado. The novel features a love triangle. In this scene, the heroine is in an old, abandoned library that she hopes to restore to its former glory. She’s with one of her love interests, and some literary spanking ensues.
[excerpt, narrated by Rosa Delgado]
August (narration):
Learn more about Skye Warren at skywarren.com. Her latest release, Private Property, is a modern-day retelling of Jane Eyre.
Skye told me that when she first started writing, people would ask her whether her stories were erotica or erotic romance. She doesn’t care what anyone calls it, but she said her stories are always going to be very, very “very, very, very sexy and explicit and have a happy ending.”
[upbeat, acoustic music]
If you have an extraordinary sex or dating experience you’d like to speak with me about, drop me at note through girlboner.org. For more Girl Boner fun and to support this show and my mission, join my community at patreon.com/girlboner. You can also support the show by leaving a rating and review, hitting the follow button wherever you’re listening and telling your friends about it. Thanks so much for listening and have a beautiful, Girl Boner embracing week.
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