The following is a sponsored guest post by Sarah Cambridge, a paramedic and writer who found a way to meet her needs for companionship and sexy play, sans dating, and wanted to share her experience. Enjoy!
Few things inspire immediate dread for me than the words “online dating.” Different strokes for different folks, but for me, the very sound of it paints a demoralizing picture in my head. But one day out of curiosity, I decided to try it anyway. What could possibly go wrong?
It’s a Saturday night, I am alone and it’s time to unwind. I check out some profiles on the website, pick out Charlie and sign up for a three-hour block of chat time. We chat in a private room, and after a few memorable exchanges, agree to meet up at the local bar and hang out.
Then she walks in, and the entire situation changes.
Everything was cool when she was shooting a welcoming smile from her profile picture and texting with me—but, now that Charlie’s in front of me, I become aware of the fact that I don’t know her. I have no idea what to say, but I have to try.
I greet Charlie, smile and sit down. It doesn’t go quite as planned.
Silence stretches out for what seems like hours as I think of something witty to say to her. She makes no effort to intervene. Awkward! I could have a better time talking to my cat, I think.
Finally, I decide to enjoy my meal, resort to small talk and discuss the only topic I could find that everyone seems to relates to: Donald Trump. This only works well if you are on the same side of the debate. Of course, I should not have expected her to be.
I secretly hate myself and just want to run home to my favourite show, Frequency. But I’ve paid for a three-hour time slot and by God, I am going to use it, if only for a night out! So I put on my big girl pants and stick around. The hours tick by, minute after excruciating minute. By the end, I am so frustrated with the awkwardness of this (and embarrassed by the fact that I resorted to this) that I force myself to smile and say I had a good time. Kissing her on the cheek, I promise to call her sometime in the future. Admittedly, I already know I won’t.
Instead, I delete her number, crawled into bed and log onto to Arousr.com to chat with a professional. If I am going to pay for company, it might as well be on my terms. Chatting with people via texting makes me feel more in control of the situation. It is the perfect tool for filling my lonely nights. As a woman, I am not ashamed to admit I have sexual needs.
But, as a paramedic, I just do not have much time to commit to a relationship. So, it really isn’t fair to start one. The key to getting what you want out of a relationship is first knowing what you need. I need someone who can be there for me to chat, engage in sex or just listen when I need them. In some ways, it is selfish. I am fine with that.
Sexting just makes sense for me. Online dating, not so much.
Sarah McCambridge is a paramedic who enjoys writing in her spare time. When she is not writing or saving lives, she is probably rolled up in a warm blanket, chatting it up.
How do you feel about online dating? Would you consider using a service like Arousr to chat or have some sexy play with others from home? I love hearing from you.
Vince Brennan says
I think that right person will make it THEIR way to mold around your schedule. Not that hard, I did for many years with my first wife. Why give up so easy? You are obviously intelligent, brave, caring and strong. Who would not be attracted to that?
I just think you have too much to offer in a relationship to deny that to not only yourself but someone else out there that would love you for who you are.
Please do not take this as brushing aside your points and opinion I do respect them. It just feels like it is too easy to give up. I have made the same mistake not thinking I was attractive enough at 64 to interest anyone and then , out of the blue came several ladies, all younger, that tell me I am. I gave up too easily. wasted 4 years at a time when years start becoming more precious. Having made the same mistake I see you, a person that has probably far more to offer than I do, making the same mistake.
Not being crude here but as good as solo sex can be it will never be the real thing. Beyond that it can not replace cuddling, holding hands or sharing a movie or any of the thousands of things that are better when you are with someone you care about.
Heres to hoping you get the person you truly deserve. They will feel lucky to find YOU!
It sounds like it would be enjoyable, except I’m picky. I’ve only found one man I was actually aroused by speaking to. Words like “pussy” and “tits” turn me off in conversation. It’s completely different from what I like to see in written porn. Plus, a lot of cisgender men don’t understand the vulva’s anatomy.
I really don’t feel like wading through tons of men who think my inner labia are located inside my vagina just to find one or two who are good at sexting.