When Dreams Take Longer Than We’d Like (+ a #GirlBoner Sweepstakes!)

Have you ever had a dream that couldn’t happen quickly enough? And months or years into your efforts, you wonder if it’ll ever happen? I’ve long believed that such dreams absolutely can. It took me decades to understand where I was even aiming then years of effort thereafter but, finally, I’m in the process of experiencing it.

A few years ago, I stood in a major bookstore’s sexuality section, imagining Girl Boner: The Good Girl’s Guide to Sexual Empowerment on a shelf. Sure, it would take some time—another year, maybe? I’d already been Girl Boner-blogging for many months and had made a good start on the book proposal. That was several proposals, two agents, many revisions, numerous rejections, and lots of time, life and work ago. This coming August 7th, Girl Boner will finally find those shelves. Looking back, I’m grateful it didn’t come into fruition sooner.

When I began planting seeds for the book, I wanted to stuff everything-in-the-world-about-sexuality into one volume. I felt impatient every time a door closed (there were many) or took longer than I’d hoped to wrench open (also frequent). Gradually, though, I realized I had plentiful learning to do—not only about sexuality, but about my readers and listeners, and about this zany world. I even had a fair amount to learn about myself.

My Girl Boner journey has taught me so much, including these takeaways:

I’ve learned that listening as fully and presently as possible allows me to better serve, that little can heal or illuminate a heart as deftly as connection and that staying true to ourselves and our mission can inspire hope and persistence in even the most trying of times.

And I’ve learned that the journey, in many ways, is the dream. Whatever impact we wish to make in others’ lives or cultivate in our own has little to do with a particular finish line and everything to do with how we approach our efforts bit by bit. When those bits lead to another sort of dream-come-true, it’s pretty magical—far more so than if we’d found instant “success.”

It’s surreal to see Girl Boner Release on my calendar and to have a wonderful team of professionals helping me launch it into the world. Every step of the way, I’m crazy-grateful for you all for being part of this journey. Some of you have been with me from the get-go, when Girl Boner existed as a single blog post (and a universe in my head ;)).

In honor of all of this and you all, I’m excited to invite you all to participate in the first ever Girl Boner Sweepstakes! From now until August 7th, you can enter to win a gift basket, including a $100 gift card to The Pleasure Chest and a sexy surprise.

It’s super easy to enter. Simply click the link below and follow the prompts. (You can enter by pre-ordering the book and submitting proof of purchase or by mailing in a postcard.)

Learn more + enter here: #GirlBoner Pre-order Sweepstakes

Lastly, I believe in you. Corny, cliche, etc, etc, but I mean it with my whole heart. If you have a dream you’ve been conjuring or working toward that isn’t yet where you’d like for it to be, focus on the mission—your “why.” Then take step after step to serve it, as though nobody’s watching. Prize quality and authenticity over popularity or growth rates. Doing so can wipe away any hints of Comparison Syndrome, Does Anyone Care-itis and the WHY AREN’T WE THERE YET flu. It can nourish your soul and recenter you on what counts. And before you know it, you’ll be well on your way and then some. Girl Boner has also provided me that.

Your turn! Tell me about a big, bold dream. I’d love to hear about your magic.